Archives for November 2008

Nov 6

I Tried to Cry Today

I have been needing a good cry for a while now. But the tears have not come. Why? Why not? I don’t know.

My sister called me today. She let out a cry of regret. She confessed to me that she has not been a good daughter to our mother. And she is hurting today because of it. (now I don’t agree with her…and neither does our mother, but she is recounting her past and feeling bad about it….I do know what that feels like.)

You see, my mom has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer. It has been a major wake up call to my family. We knew life was precious and a gift, but that has been magnified times 1000! Now it’s my mom they are talking about. I’m not ready for this.

Usually, I’m the crier in the family. I easily cry. Not Tricia, my sister. She’s the strong one. The tough girl who can take it. With the latest trial in our lives though, our roles are reversed. She’s crying like crazy and I haven’t been able to cry at all….and that bothers me. I feel like crying. I don’t know if I’m ignoring my feelings or just trying to stand strong. Just when I feel like I could let it all go, I don’t. I think I’m partially numb and also partially scared and mad and sad and just in disbelief. Not my mother. No, please. I need her too much.

I have never been through anything like this in my life. And I don’t like it one bit. Please pray for my mom. She’s such an amazing mom.


Nov 5

I support the President

I am not going to tell you who I voted for. I don’t think it matters at this point. But I believe, with all my heart, if you want to be beautiful in America, you need to support our leader. It doesn’t mean you voted for him. It doesn’t mean you agree with everything he does. But it does mean that you pray for him and continue to pray for him. Lift him up to God and trust God with His provision for our country.

So, Barack Obama, you have my prayers. I will be praying for you and your family and your leadership over our country. God chose you long ago. And I trust God.

Be Blessed,

Nov 4

Wonderful Weekend!

Why do wonderful weekends have to end?

I don’t work on Fridays anymore, so my weekends seem a little longer…or at least I have a little more time at home. This week/weekend was one of those special ones.
Tuesday, my mom came to visit for the afternoon. We had such a great time. She’s still waiting to start her chemo and we just value each moment with her so much.
Wednesday, I drove to Greenville to pick up my dad. He visited with us until Sunday and it was great to have him here. The first night he was here, we carved our pumpkin. Here are me and my sweet kids.
Thursday, Hayden’s football team, the South Charlotte Shockers, FINALLY won their first game. They are no longer 0-5, but 1-5. And do you know why???? Because I brought the Cowbell…yes that’s right. It had nothing to do with outplaying the other team. It was the first time I brought the Cowbell. I was loud, vocal, and obnoxious. And we won. Yeah!

Friday I was off work. My dad and I spent the day together shopping. And Friday night we went Trick or Treating with the kids. We had such a great time. We went to Jeff’s parents’ neighborhood. After trick or treating, we watched the Appalachian/Wofford football game. Yes, we dominated! 70-24, we won. Good times.

Saturday, the winning streak continued. It is very rare that all my teams win, but this weekend they did. Florida beat Georgia (big time!) and South Carolina beat Tennessee! And we went to a fun party hosted by our good friends Kenny and Denise. The kids got to dress up and it was so fun! Here are Hayley Grace and Sydney…or actually 2 enchanted witches!
Sunday, we woke up an hour late (loved that with the time change) and went to church. Then we took my dad back to Greenville, SC. While there, we visited my Aunt June and Uncle Doug. It was a great ending to a great week.

When weeks like this end, I feel quite bittersweet. It’s bitter because it had to end and it was good. It’s sweet, because there were terrific memories made and I wish I could freeze time and hold on to them.
Honestly, since my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I just have come to realize how precious time and life it. I mean, I always thought it. But now I just want to hold on to it. I want to appreciate and grasp what a gift life is. I never doubted the gift of life from God, but now that we are facing the possibility of death, it has become more precious to me. It should have been that way all along.

My article in the P31 Woman has gotten great response so far. Not so much for my writing ability, but just for sharing a struggle that so many deal with…anxiety and depression. I have received a lot of confirmation that voicing my struggles with it was a good thing. Thank you God! I was so nervous about it!
Well, I need to run. We are watching home movies tonight. I’m so thankful for a great week and weekend. And my family. And my friends.

Pray for the election tomorrow. It’s a big one, but I’m not worried because I know God Who is in control.