Archives for March 2009

Mar 30

No Condemnation

I have a devotion running on the Proverbs 31 Ministries site today. The title is “No Condemnation.” No surprise that all day yesterday I battled the voices of doubt, fear, and sadness.

Over the weekend I travelled about 4 and 1/2 hours away from home to speak at a Women’s Forum in Roanoke Rapids, NC. The event was better than I ever dreamed it could be. I was blessed. The women were blessed. I could feel the Lord’s presence and His Words spilling from my mouth as I presented the message. I shared portions of my life and how good or bad, God brought purpose from each situation. I also shared how I’ve struggled with my self-image and self-esteem as well. And I still do! Now I know God is in control and that I am beautiful in His eyes and so special to Him. With that said, I have to battle daily for my natural tendancies not to take over. And it is a daily battle. When I left yesterday, I was on such a “God-High”. I was so excited at how God worked in the hearts the women at the event. They ate up the message, they took Proverbs 31 books, magazines, and devotions home with them….they left hungry for more of Jesus and eager to grow in their walk with the Lord. And I made some great new friends too!!!!

Sunday morning I woke up late and we missed church. Feeling guilty over that was not the way I wanted to begin my day. I can’t explain why, but for the remainder of the day I felt weepy, discouraged, and well….like a loser. Condemning thoughts occupied my mind. Things like: “That was bad to oversleep. I caused the whole family to miss church.” “I haven’t exercised since Tuesday….no wonder I’m not losing weight.” “Jeff doesn’t understand me today. He’s probably thinking about all the things I’ve done wrong lately.” “I’m worried about my mom.” “Why do I feel like this today…yesterday was such a blessing and tomorrow I have a devotion running.”

Then t hit me. And I should’ve been prepared for this attack. Why? Because the closer we are to God, the harder Satan fights to keep our eyes off of the Lord and on to our own weakness and flaws. Darnit, I fell for it again!

John 3:17 is one of my favorite verses. It says, “Jesus did not come into the world to condemn it, but to save it.” Jesus didn’t come here, take my sins to the cross and die for me, so that I would feel all blue and pathetic. He came to save me. And in that, there is no condemnation.

Satan knows us all very well. And he’ll use what he knows to lure us away from God. I may get caught off guard and slip and fall every now and then, but with God’s help I stand back up, brush the dust off, and move forward in my walk with Him…replacing those condemning thoughts with the Truth.

In my devotion, I mentioned a “God Moment” I had once when I was feeling condemned and God showed up in my morning devotion. I’d love to hear your God Moments if you’d like to share. Or if you have any thoughts on what you do to stand strong when you feel defeated. Or just anything you’d like to share at all. I read every comment posted and I love to hear about your stories too.

Thanks for reading my thoughts today. This is the day the Lord has made. Let’s all rejoice and be glad in it!

Happy Monday,

****Hey for those of you who have been praying for my mom…she has an appointment with a surgeon today. We think we know what he will recommend and the surgery needed to remove this part of her cancer could be difficult and life altering. Please pray for her. Pray for the enemy NOT to get a hold of her mind and that she is reminded often that the Lord will take care of her. I’m spending the night with her tonight. Thanks Y’all!

Mar 26

My Mom’s Website

If you have the time or get the chance, go visit my Mama’s CaringBridge website.

I’m visiting with her tonight. We are in our jammies watching American Idol :) And her pain is better! Praise God!


Mar 25

I’m Going to Rock Hill

Have you ever heard of Rock Hill? It’s a small city in South Carolina. It’s where my mom lives. And it’s only about 35 minutes from Charlotte, North Carolina where I live. I’ve decided to head south. I need a visit with my mom.

She says she doesn’t need me there. I should tend to my husband and 4 kids and job. But there is nothing more important to me right now that spending time with “Mama”. Funny, because I haven’t called her “Mama” in many years. I’ve called her “MaMaw”….her grandma name. Not any more. I call her “Mama” again. Isn’t that just how mothers are….don’t want their babies to worry with them. But oh how I consider it a privilege. Especially faced with the fact that mine won’t be around in ?????? years to come. Brings tears to my eyes.

She has lung cancer. Stage 4. That’s bad enough. But then another Cancer showed up. How unfair is that???? The other cancer is very fast growing and requires major surgery. After this surgery, my mom will have a colostomy. She’s devasted. A bag to hold her bodily waste. Oh Lord, provide her with the strength and the confidence to know that this doesn’t mean she’s lost her dignity. This part of the cancer happened so fast. Too fast. She’s only 62 years old. And I need her.

I don’t know how people deal with trials when they don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I was telling my dad tonight that the one thing that brought me peace and comfort was that I KNEW for a fact where my mom stands in her faith. If she dies right now, she’s with Jesus. I’m so glad I know that.

My oldest son just kissed me goodnight. I treasure that kiss. My mom’s oldest child will kiss her goodnight tomorrow night. (I’m her oldest child.)

I’m going to Rock Hill.