I know I could have filled one up this morning. I cried and cried and cried. I’ve been pretty exhausted lately, mentally and emotionally. Lots on my mind. Then this morning during a discussion with someone, I was hurt deeply. I allowed my wounds to be opened further and the words that came my way were like pouring pure salt on top. Some of the words were true. Some I don’t agree with at all. In return and in my defense, I said words back that I now regret. Never the less, I felt like pond scum as I made my way into work this morning. I met up with my enemy on the way in and for a while listened to what he had to say to me. It wasn’t very nice.
Last night I wrote a blog post titled Return to Worthy. Today I feel everything but worthy. I need to go back and read it and take my own advice. What I really needed, however was a heart fix, an attitude adjustment, a reminder that I am NOT what I was feeling. I am NOT what another person says I am. I am NOT the hurt inside of me. I am NOT my past. I am NOT.
I arrived at work a little late and a little shook up. As I sat at my desk, this is what I saw:
“I will meet your every need, Melissa, through My eternal riches in Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 4:19)
“If you enter into My rest, Melissa, you will find rest from all your striving.” (Heb. 4:9-10)
“I am near to you whenever you cry out, Melissa” (Deaut. 4:7)
I will save you, Melissa, in the midst of your troubles.” (Psalm 138:7)
Those are the Scriptures I have taped around my computer. I really started crying then. “I believe these Words God, I know You are there. Why is the approval of others so important to me? I know You are all I need. You are enough. Help me.”
I work in a small office. We can hear each other breathing. In a matter of seconds, I was surrounded by the Wendies. Wendy Pope and Wendy Blight , are 2 of my amazing, sweet, loving, and giving friends here in the Proverbs 31 office. They didn’t have to know what was wrong, they just knew that I needed some lovin’, encouragement, understanding, and prayer. And they prayed. As they prayed, I continued to cry. But it was a different cry. It was like a letting go. A release. Like I knew everything was going to be okay. I felt the breath of God in my heart as the words out of their mouths lifted me upward. I was surrounded by love and could feel peace returning to my anxious body.
One of the things Wendy B. said while praying was that she wanted me to be filled with JOY no matter how I felt or what was going on. And that JOY stood for “Jesus, Only You.”
Y’all, that’s the truth. Our joy, real lasting joy, can only come from Jesus. We desire (or at least I do) joy to come from those who we spend our time with. And often it does. But often it doesn’t. And when we put our hope, freedom, healing, or joy into the hands of any person (you can fill in your own blank or blanks here), it will not last.
What were the words that I just penned less than 24 hours ago? Freedom in Christ isn’t just granted once, it must be claimed daily. Sometimes more than that. I rest my case! I am listening to myself teach!
Filling up with God’s Word and the reality and truth of His promises is our key to everlasting and present freedom, joy,hope, healing…. We desperately need Jesus.
J.O.Y. Jesus Only You ___________________________________. Finish that sentence and share your comments with me. I’d love to make a “Jesus Only You” handout to give away sometime. Oh who am I fooling. I want one for myself!!!!
To let you in on the rest of the story, my friend and I made up today. That is a blessing I treasure.
And about that bucket of tears…they aren’t with me anymore. My God captured them all. (You have taken account of my wanderings;Put my tears in Your bottle Are they not in Your book? , Ps 56:8, NASB) Yes Lord, they are. Thank you for caring about me that much.
Love Y’all,
Sponsor a Child
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Jesus Only You know every intricate part of me and know the true intent of my heart!
Jesus Only You can give me eternal, everlasting, unseparable love and joy!
Jesus, only you can meet all my needs!
Oh dear Melissa,
This hit another chord with me today!!!!
Jesus Only You can heal my friend, Cindy’s body and relieve her pain, all my worrying and desires to help won’t heal her.
Jesus Only You can do my job at church, through me… my own efforts are for nothing without You.
Jesus Only You can make this women’s retreat work, not all my concern and over thinking and over committing.
These things have been stealing my JOY today. I need to be filled with Jesus Only You. Jesus, my focus. Jesus, my all. Jesus, the one and only.
Thank you, sweet friend.
Love,
Heather
Jesus only you accept me broken and heal me.
Melissa,
Thank you for being real, showing how God can and does work. Though our lives and those around us. How wonderful it must be to work in such a sweet environment!
Here are some of mine:
Jesus only you offer me true protection from my enemies, when I am afraid.
Jesus only you give me strength when am I too weary to keep going on my own.
Jesus only you can make the wind blow and allow me to hear it as if it were a silent whisper meant only for me.
Jesus only you know the true desires of my heart
Jesus only you can feed the hunger and quench the thirst of my soul with your word.
Jesus only you can heal my physical pain with your touch, when doctors give hope
I would love to have a copy of the hand out as well.
Love and hugs,
Diane
Melissa,
I’m sorry you had to go thru that pain to get the lessons you’ve taught all of us today. (I’m also glad you and your friend made up!)
Jesus Only You know what I truly need (which may not necessarily be what I want). Lead me to what I need.
Jesus Only You know all the desires of my heart. Teach me what they may all be.
Jesus Only You can heal the sick, wounded and sad of heart. My worrying will not help any of that. Please help me to direct my energies towards prayer and not worry.
That is a good exercise…I think I’ll continue it on paper!
Thank you again for your inspirations, as always!
Jesus, only you can teach me to rest totally in the promises you have given me in your word. Only you can preserve me in a land where I really feel like an alien and a stranger. Only you can replace thoughts of anger and revenge with the sweetness of your spirit. Only you …Lord…ONLY YOU!!!!
Thanks sooooooooo much Melissa. Your openess and honest spirit has allowed so many to be blessed…’nuff love’ (that’s Jamaican for lots of love)
Not to ignore the pain you must have felt today but I hope you know how blessed you are to have friends who don’t even need to know what’s wrong but will come along side of you and pray for you!
No, I’ve never cried a bucket of tears. Sometimes I think that’s a big part of my problem – I’ve never been able to cry/grieve for my hurts. Instead I’ve just stayed angry at myself for them.
Jesus only you can reach into my past and hold me in those dark places!
I’d like a copy of this list too! Thanks.
Jesus, Only You can restore what has crumbled and give me the strength to get back up when Satan knocks me down. Give me hope when Satan fills me with discouragement. And never remember my confessed sin although Satan uses it to bring me down.
Thank you for sharing this today!!
Oh Melissa! I was crying buckets last night and this morning. And I was ready to call it quits on a very important relationshp. So glad God steps in and brings us to our senses, to our JOY! Thank you for the verses. Will be adding them to my workspace and somewhere around the house as well! Thanks for shring so openly!
Jesus, only you can give me true peace. Melissa, thank you for saying what I needed to hear today. I am glad your friend and you made up.
Jesus Only You is where my true value and worth is found. It is not in what others say or don’t say, what others do or don’t do, it is only in Christ. I learned that I have to let others off the hook to validate me. My self worth is not based on others. I believe this to the core of my being, but sometimes this recovering perfectionist and people pleaser still struggles. Thank you Jesus that I am valuable and loved because You love me. I am a daughter of the King, a princess. May I walk as royalty every day!
Melissa virtual {{HUGS}} coming your way. Know you are loved!
Jesus Only You could show me how to forgive my abusive birth mother.
Jesus Only You can love me like I long to be loved.
Jesus Only You are my soulmate. No man can ever love me like you do. (I’m so thankful I understand this now.)
Jesus Only You can comfort me.
Jesus Only You can give me hope for the future
Jesus Only You can bless my friends
Jesus Only You can work in my dad’s heart and answer my prayer that he give his life to you before it is too late for him.
Melissa, I’m kicking myself here. Your name was pressed so hard on my heart today and I should have sent you a message…but I didn’t. I am so sorry. Not that anything I might have said would have been that wonderful, but I missed an opportunity to respond in obedience to God’s prompting on my heart.
Jesus, only You can pick me up every time I fall or fail.
Jesus, only You can exchange fear for faith.
Jesus, only You can breathe new life into a cold, dead heart.
Jesus, only You can turn prodigals home.
Jesus, only You can forgive sin and promise eternal life.
Jesus, only You offer strength in weakness, see the last as first and know the way up is found by getting down on our knees.
Jesus, only You…You only are more than enough for me.
Praying for you now,
Hugs,
Joy
Melissa,
I think you were under satan’s attack. You have blessed so many these last weeks that it is no wonder you are so tired, hurt, and attacked.
But you did not fall, again you were able to use this to become more like Jesus and teach others the lessons you learn.
Today I will pray that you will be blessed, you’re also just another woman but God is wonderfully using you!
You’re worthy!!!
We’ll done you faithfull servant!!!
Melissa, Well I’m not writing an anticipated blog post today because I’ve been reading yours! And what a blessing. I can so relate to so much of what you say – the feelings of not being worthy and allowing others lack of approval to make things even worse. I also love the bit about the constant choice to believe – actually I will be giving a talk next week at MOPS about the choices of Christmas (the gifts, food…and how a recent struggle with postpartum depression showed me about the choice to believe God and His word and finally moving to the choice women have this Christmas to not just give gifts but receive the most important gift ever!!) I’d appreciate your prayers for that – that God would speak thru me and open the hearts of the women as well. With that I believe I’ll be using your gift idea as well – what a wonderful one!! Well I could say more, but will just let God work on what is on my heart!! Thanks for sharing, I have been blessed! Jill
I stumbled upon your blog today, not knowing that it was exactly what I needed to hear at the very moment I needed it most. I had a conversation with someone I love last night that ended badly and I was hurt and sad. Things said made me feel worthless in his eyes. I know that I am not worthless in God’s eyes, but every now and then I need to be reminded of that. Thank you for doing that for me today.
Jesus, only You can can look past my outward appearance and see my true self!
Thanks for the blog! May GOD continue to bless you!
J.O.Y…Jesus, Only You can fill my heart up with your neverending love.
Jesus, Only You can give me this and each and every day to be here on this beautiful earth to love my children.
Jesus, Only You lead me down the right path of my life and help me know the place where you want me to be.
Jesus, it is Only with You that all things are possible.
Jesus Only You, who can help me be the momma that my girls need and the wife my husband needs.
Jesus, Only You can bring peace to broken hearts.
Melissa, I so love your post today! Wait, that didn’t sound right……I love the J.O.Y and the opportunity to provide us all with the change to share what is in our hearts. Now on the other hand, sorry you had a rough start that morning. It is all a place that we have been before, a place no one likes to be. Peace be in your heart
How blessed you are to have friends that pray with you and comfort you, especially in the work place.
Thank you for pouring out your heart. It’s very heart-warming to know we share so many of the same feelings. So often we each feel we’re alone – “the only one who has this problem or that problem”. That you for sharing and reminding us all that Jesus wipes away our tears- big or small. Your are such a blessing. Thank you !!!
Ahh, my friend. I didn’t get to read this until today and it breaks my heart to think of you hurting so and crying buckets of tears. I am so thankful for the “Wendies” who are Jesus with skin on. I love how He embraced you and prayed for you through them. What a profound truth the Holy Spirit revealed through Wendy’s prayer for you. He truly is our only source of lasting JOY!!!
Love you sweety,
Renee