Feb 17

I’m Tired of This Life

I admit it.  I’m tired of this life.  I don’t really like life right now.  I’m exhausted and emotionally drained.  I’m not doing the things I’d like to be doing.  I’m scared.  I hurt for others. I want everyone to be happy and healthy.  I want to be happy and healthy. I try not to worry, yet I worry a lot. I’m very disappointed.  In myself.  In life.   Sometimes I feel like I can’t go on.

My friends, how I wish I was going to tell you that those were words from a recent prayer request I received at the Proverbs 31 Office where I am the Prayer Coordinator, among other things :)  But they aren’t.  Those are words straight from my heart today.  Before you panic and think I’m about to end it all, don’t.  Yes, in my own flesh, this is how I truly feel.  But I have a greater power within me that provides me with all I need to survive.  And I marinate in His Word and soak up all the strength and peace I need so that even though I am hurting, I know that I am fine.  The verse that really carries me right now is John 16:33,“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

In other words, Jesus told his disciples to take courage, hang in there, inevitably you will have trouble.  That alone brings me peace.  Jesus himself says we will have trouble.  I am not immune to that.  I shouldn’t be alarmed, disheartened, or fearful in this life that troubles me so. I can “take heart” (have courage, be comforted).  In times such as these, I have to remember that I’m not alone.  Jesus will never abandon me (or you). The victory has been won, by Jesus.  He lives in me and therefore I can claim that victory too. Even in my troubled times.  The truth is, I may never live a trouble free life. According to John 16:33, I won’t!  But I can live a peaceful and victorious life. So can you.

Can you relate? Are you ever so tired that you feel ready to just give up?  I’ve learned that when I get to this point, it’s often exactly where I need to be.  It’s when God knows He’s all I have left.  It’s when I learn and experience that God is enough and that is the greatest blessing of all.

I ask for your prayers.  Normally I receive prayer requests.  And I pray.  Today I’m requesting.  And I thank you in advance for praying.

1. Mom. She’s declining as we expected. Her suffering is difficult to watch. Time with her is more valuable than ever. I treasure your prayers for her comfort. She loves Jesus and will soon be with him.  Until then I ask for peace and strength for Bud (her husband), Tricia (my sister), and all the other family and friends who this is so difficult for. This is much harder than I ever imagined.

2.  Hayley Grace.  My daughter, who has been sick all week with fever, cold symptoms, and the awful throw ups. She’s feeling better today :)  Pray no one else in our family will get it. And pray for her sweet heart. She’s been very clingy to me, probably due to all that’s been going on with me being gone so much. I think she’s been a little glad to be sick (except the throw up part) because we’ve had so much time together.

3. A good friend of mine. Her father is not doing well and she is carrying many burdens of caring for him. Strength for her. Wisdom with words and support from me. She’s always been there for me and I want to be there for her too.

4. Another good young friend of mine. She is in the hospital due to an overdose. She is struggling with life right now and desiring to feel loved and accepted and normal. She’s too young to have experienced all she’s gone through so far in life.  I spoke with her mother last night. Pray for this sweet mom as well. She doesn’t know what to do. They love Jesus like crazy. Pray for them that He will be enough. Strength, peace, total healing. Restoration.

5. Finances. Yes, I too relate with many of you in your struggle of finances. My husband and I both work. Times are very hard right now. I’ve had to miss a lot of work lately due to family sickness and my Mom’s cancer.

6. Weight Watchers. This may seem trivial, but it’s really not. This week I fell off the WW train big time. After losing 11.6 in January, I don’t want to blow it! Recommitment and discipline. Planning.  Follow through despite circumstances. Geez, food is not the solution to problems! Neither is chocolate. I am overweight by 30 pounds still.

7. Balance. I crave simplicity and routine. Neither do I have right now.

8. An abundance of blessings for my husband and kids. They have been so supportive of all I have to do and be right now.  I couldn’t do it without them. Because of them I can go care for my mom a few days and nights each week.  Because of them I haven’t had to worry about keeping it all together at home while traveling back and forth plus working each day. They have chipped in and been self sufficient. I’ve learned they really don’t need me!….(of course that’s not true, but they can survive on their own!)  I also know they are feeling the pain too. What is happening around me effects them too.  Pray for strength and comfort for them. They deserve so much more than I’ve given them lately.

Thank you my friends for listening.  It is rare that I publicly ask for prayer. You see, I’d like for you to think that I have it all together. Ha ha, lol, if you’ve followed my blogs or devotions for any time at all, you already know that’s not the case!

Let me encourage you to also ask for prayer.  We weren’t meant to go through life alone.  And when we don’t reach out when we are in need, we rob others the blessing of praying and caring for us. My friend Wendy Pope tells me that all time! We also open a door for Satan to attack our minds into thinking we really can’t take it anymore and to just give up.  Prayer has power that we don’t realize. It’s a blessing to the one being prayed for and the one praying. Both are strengthened through prayer.

Tired of this life?  Me too.  But remember this: “…in me (Jesus) you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Visit the Proverbs 31 Prayer Page if you would like the P31 Prayer Team to pray for you. It is our honor to do so.  My love to each of you!

Melissa

Comments

  1. Precious Melissa, I am so thankful you shared your requests. I think that was brave and refreshing, and I’ll pray for you. It was only 3 years ago, and I could’ve written this. Well I did actually, to my ministry prayer team. My mother was dying, and I was flying back and forth to be with her. My husband’s father was dying of brain cancer. My husband’s grandfather lived with us and was declining with Parkinson’s. The kids needed more attention than I could give them, and I was a ministry leader of a thriving and growing ministry at church. I would’ve come completely undone if not for the hand of God holding mine by my pinky. And it was still hard. Reeeeeally hard. I cried a TON. ON the days I couldn’t cry, I prayed. On the days I couldn’t pray, I went through the motions. Yuck.

    All that to say, I understand, and I will pray. By bringing these things into the light, they will not continue to grow in the dark. YOu are an amazing woman, and I give God the glory for all that He is doing in and through you, sister.

  2. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through. I do know that when I am struggling with my own issues and feel like it is all I can do to go on Psalm 66:8 – 12 ( in The Message) brings me great comfort. I hope it will you as well.

    Bless our God, O peoples! Give him a thunderous welcome! Didn’t he set us on the road to life? Didn’t he keep us out of the ditch? He trained us first, passed us like silver through refining fires, brought us into hardscrabble country, pushed us to our very limit, Road-tested us inside and out, took us to hell and back; Finally he brought us to this well-watered place.

    I pray that God will sustain you as he refines you and brings you quickly to a well-watered place.

    Stephanie

  3. Melissa Reynolds says:

    Oh Sweet Melissa,
    I always find comfort in reading what you write about. You are so transparent and you have no idea how I find strength for myself in that. I am so sorry for the troubles, worries, and pain in your life but you are right, God knows all and he isn’t suprised by any of it! What a wonderful source of strength and love He is. You and your requests are in my thoughts and prayers!

    Love, Melissa R.

  4. Jennifer Renee says:

    Melissa, I am still praying for you as well as for your mother daily. Right now I’m crying over all the things you’re going through. Please be encouraged and know that you are truly loved. I will also be praying for your friends.

  5. Oh sweet Melissa – lifting you and your family before the throne of Grace right now! For peace, for health, for financial provision, for faith, for energy, for time, for wisdom, for strength, for blessings upon blessing!

    I have lost 40 pounds (only 15 more to my ultimate goal!) since She Speaks and I have to tell you – Lysa and LeAnn are my cheerleaders and inspiration. You can do it – Don’t let Satan convince you otherwise. I pray that as your focus is on so many other people that the Lord would give you the wisdom and strength to make wise, healthy decisions and that you would find your comfort in Jesus, not food or chocolate (boy have I prayed that prayer alot over the last 4 months!)

    I have to tell you – In your asking for prayer – God answered my prayer today. I am speaking in April for my husband (it is a mixed setting, men and women). It is for a Lenten breakfast. They key verse for this year is John 16:33. This morning I asked God for a Word for the opening. As I read your post, I knew exactly how I was to start…and I hadn’t even read the end where you used John 16:33! Thank You Jesus! You are so cool to serve!!!

  6. Hey Melissa, I have been in that “tired of life” spot and I didn’t even have half the things you do to deal with. As I read through your post I prayed for each request. I will keep you in my prayers as I know you need lifting up just as much as all those you lift up.

  7. Melissa,
    Praying for you…my heart just breaks for the pain you are all going through. Thank you for being honest – you don’t know what a blessing it is to see your transparency. May God bless you for sharing.

    I pray comfort and peace and strength to each of you…

    You are precious!!!

  8. Melissa,
    I so appreciate you sharing this today. There have been times that I have felt that same way. We have to reach out to our Heavenly Father and hang on. He is with you. Listen to that song by Mandisa…”He is with you” Pray it encourages you and I will be praying for you.

  9. I prayed for you today as well as your mother, family, and friends. I really like what you said about asking for prayer. I haven’t heard that but once before. I am going to jot it down so I can remember it. I know how I feel when I have a friend/loved one going through something and they do not ask me to pray. It is an honor to bring their petitions to the Lord. Stay strong.

  10. I love you girl and I am lifting you and your precious family up in prayers!
    xoxo

  11. Melissa,

    Thank you for sharing your heart and your needs. I am praying for you even as I write this.

    Sixteen years ago, on the night that we were given the news that my father had terminal lung cancer, God directed me to Psalm 61: 1-2. “Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

    Countless times I have returned to those verses during overwhelming times. I pray that God will give you strength in the coming days, weeks, and months.

    I love you,

    Barbie

  12. Oh my friend I felt like I wrote this post….As I was reading it, I was just inserting different names in the situations, right down to the WW…..I need to lost 20 pounds and I just cannot seem to get settled and disciplined…My husband is having a heart cath next week, which in itself should not be a huge scare, but he had a heart attack in his early 40’s and quad bypass and in the last 18 years has never had one problem…now some abnormal things in his stress test..My little grandsons have all been sick….RSV, one virus after another and we keep them as much as possible so our kids don’t miss so much work…..There is a huge rift in my extended family and as much as I would like to let go of the unhealthy situations and just forget they exist….I cannot seem to….I have close friends that are struggling with major problems and I feel like I have not been there for them.
    Financially we are ok but my son has been in management at a Toyota dealership and I don’t have to tell you…that’s not where you want to be right now…He has gone from 12 years of making more money than 30 year olds should to drastic cuts and he is worried. Everyday I hear of someone I know losing their job. Your post title just grabbed me…..and forgive me for going on and on…..I lost both my parents 3 months apart, 2 years ago, so I know the agony of watching a parent suffer. Please know that I am praying for you….
    thank you for sharing your heart…..Would you send me your address so I can send you something….
    I would love to….
    Teresa
    annah99@aol.com

  13. Wow Melissa,
    I am praying for you. Today is my father’s birthday, oh how I miss him, I lost him to cancer on 1-4-2009. Spend as much time as you can with your lovely mother. You might even video tape some of this time with her. I wish I had, I would love to just hear my father’s voice. I pray God sustain you and your family during this very difficult time. Thank you for being an encouragement to the rest of us.

    Julie

  14. Hey there!
    I so hurt for you and the rest of your family and am praying for all of you. I’ve been in the “I’m tired of life” phase so many times and they were for things WAY more trivial than what what you are experiencing.
    I’ve always felt bad about asking people to pray for me, as what I need prayers for seem so innane/mundane/trival compared to what others need. I just need to remember that God can handle all of the requests!
    Let me know what I can do to help you/your family…I’m just up the road!
    Be strong and courageous.
    Love you!
    Julie

  15. I wish I knew something to say to help you, but I can’t even help myself right now. I just got out of the hospital after 5 days of being there because I had thoughts of suicide including a plan. Maybe it will help just knowing you aren’t alone in this struggle. As for your friend, no it isn’t a good thing that she overdosed but maybe God can bring good out of it. I did the same thing when I was younger but no one got help for me, so I’m still struggling many years later. Maybe she can get help now and not have to carry her burdens alone any more.

  16. Melissa, it is my honor to pray for you this time. I so understand the feelings of wanting just to to go home, our real home. I was on my knees only 30 minutes ago in my kitchen floor asking the Lord to help me through these next days with Will healing from the flu and His protection around me to so I don’t get it and can take care of him the way I need to. Jesus is with us, I know that too!

    Love you,
    Brandee

  17. Melissa
    Your friend Wendy Pope loves you deeply! Just thinking of you makes me smile. I am so glad you are my friend and we get to spend eternity together praising Jesus.

  18. Y’all, thanks so much for your comments, understanding, sweet words, Scriptures, and prayers! We all need prayer and it’s ok to ask for it. Thank you for reaffirming that. Thanks for praying for me and please know as I read all the comments, I prayed for you too.

    It shouldn’t make me feel better, but knowing I’m not alone and so many of you understand does make me feel better.

    Thank you!

  19. Dear Melissa, I will keep you, your family and friends in my prayers. Keep breathing in God’s comforting Word for support.

  20. Dear Melissa,
    Your wise words on Proverbs and your blog have been such a blessing to me over the past few months, No prayer, no whisper or cry to our Fathr, ever goes unheard. I am honoured to pray for you and all the circumstances touching you right now.

    God Bless You.

  21. Dear Melissa,

    Your blog is a blessing to me. It always makes me come closer to our Heavenly Father. I lift you and your family in prayer and ask God to give you peace, joy and most of all strength. Just keep trusting in the Lord and He will see you thro…..!!!

  22. Sweet Melissa I know exactly what you are going through…I understand how you are feeling.
    Father,God, I lift up ALL these requests to Your throne of Grace. Asking You to answer each one in Your time and according to Your will. Pour out Your Holy Spirit upon each person. Engulf each one with Your Love, Peace,Joy and Healing. Help them all to keep their eyes,hearts and minds upon Jesus. Please continue to use them all for Your Glory,Honor and Praise.
    Jeremiah 32:27~~~Psalm 103:1~5 In the Matchless Name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. AMEN.

  23. Melissa, I got up this morning with you on my heart..Now I know why. I am so glad you have given us the priviledge of praying for you right now.. You are such an inspiration to so many and by bearing your soul, you become so much more of a inspiration to us all. I pray for your strength, I pray for your family during this time, and I lift up your precious Mom..May she be surrounded by an army of God’s Angels, may they be attending to her every need, and may she feel the blessed presence of them. And last of all, I pray for Hope for your family. Hope in the knowledge that she will soon be home in the arms of her Beloved Savior.

    Melissa, I have traveled the path you are on with my own Mom. I left my family to care for her and felt the guilt that you feel. I must tell you, my family survived my not being there…( sometimes we just think we are irreplacable)..and I would not trade one single minute of the precious time I had with my Mom..Savor it, soak up each touch..honor her by rubbing her body with lotion..lay beside her and just feel her presence…My Mom has been gone almost 14 years and I still to this day can feel the touch of her hand stroking my face as I lay my head on her bed..

    You and your family will continue to be in my prayers..Dear Sister in Christ..You will have an even more extrordinary Ministry when this over..having walked and been carried so closely by our Lord.

    Greta

  24. Hey Melissa!

    I can so relate to you being tired of this life! I’ve been slammed with so much stuff lately, my head is spinning. I am HUGE on prayer & as I write this, I am lifting you up specifically to the strong arms of our Jesus!! He is the only one who can give us rest & calm our hearts & soothe our spirits!! We, as women & very sensitive beings, get bombarded with so much & this evil world tries so hard to tear us down & make us feel unworthy. But we are made WORTHY because of Jesus!! I have to wake up every day & just fall into His lap! I too am so tired of this life, but am standing strong on the faith that this is temporary (gosh, that’s so hard to understand!) & my eternal rewards will far outweigh my present difficult circumstances!!

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE SWEET PRECIOUS SISTER IN CHRIST!! You are much loved…by so many…especially JESUS!! = D

    *cher*

  25. My sweet friend,

    You are loved beyond measure. Thank you for sharing your heart and your prayer requests. You are our prayer warrior… always praying for everyone else. Thank you for allowing us to lift YOU up.

    “Be strong and courageous, My sweet Melissa! Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for I, the Lord your God am with you wherever you go.”

    I love you BIG,
    LeAnn

  26. Melissa you have been an inspiration I pray GODS hand over you . He will give you strength for every single moment of every single day just look to him he is waiting to wrap his arms around you. blessings to a deserving sweet Melissa

  27. Praying for you right now my sweet friend!! Your post is so refreshing, and I LOVE the opportunity to pray for my sisters…especially you who has so faithfully prayed for me and my sweet girl. I am so sad for all you are walking through right now. But I do know that in your weakness, God will show up SO BIG!! He will strengthen you and uphold you with His righteous right hand. He will fill you perfectly with all you need to accomplish all He has called you to do. I pray God’s sweet blessings be poured out upon your family as you serve so many others during this time.

    Love you,

    Wendy

  28. Melissa,
    As I read your post today, it is with great pleasure that I take this moment to pray for you and will continue to do so. It is you, after all, that showed me what the most meaningful gifts given during the Christmas season truly are… the gift of prayer. I used your idea and gave this gift of prayer to someone you know who has recently touched my heart and I am so grateful to you for that message back on Dec. 3. What I didn’t expect though, was that it is I who has really been the one who has received the blessings of praying for another. It has been an honor and a blessing to feel God leading you to pray daily for another one of His children. I don’t think I have thought to go back to your blog again until today and again it is on prayer… only this time it is for you. Well, I am praying for you that you are given all the strength and energy you and your family need and that you feel His love pouring down on you. Thank you again for your words and especially for your emphasis on prayer.

  29. “Not sure what to do,
    Don’t know what to say,
    But one things for certain,
    I promise to pray.”

    Love ya Melissa.
    Hugs,
    Joy

  30. Have been praying for you this week… have your blog flagged in my inbox to remind me :) Hope that your next couple of weeks give you a chance to exhale a bit and find some balance and rest… God bless!

  31. Sweet Melissa,
    I am praying for you and your family. Thank you and God bless you for being so transparent. I am certain that through that you have touched someone deeply who needed it. This has been a long road for you so I pray for your strength as much as anything. Throughout this journey you have remained in my thoughts and prayers often.
    Sweet Blessings & Hugs,
    Margaret S.