Saturday night held an adventure I had been waiting on for months. In fact I wrote about it in my last post. My son invited me to go with him to “Mary Poppins”, the musical. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint! It was amazing.
During the show, my throat started hurting. It got worse over the course of the evening and when I got home I discovered I was running a fever. Hoping it was just a fluke, I took some ibuprofen and went to bed. When I woke up the next morning, I felt even worse.
“I can’t be sick, don’t have the time!” I must have said this 10 times, but the sickness did not listen. Sunday, I was on the couch all day. Not only did I feel cruddy physically, but I also felt down mentally. Have you ever noticed that when you don’t feel well, everything is magnified? I missed my mom and cried about that. My office friends were going to the lake for a getaway (without me because I’m sick) and I cried about that. My fever kept going up and I cried about that. Then I started thinking about all the things I’m supposed to do this week, so I cried about that too. At the end of my cryfest, I had convinced myself that I am really not very good at anything and should just call it quits in various aspects of my life. I spiraled down down down. I’m not good enough to be a Bible study leader. I need to quit working on my silly Top Ten lists, who needs them anyway? Why am I pursuing speaking again? What message can I deliver? I’m not even great at being a wife, mom, keeper of my home…do I really think I can do anything else? I already work close to full time in an office and seriously I can’t do anything else. And I especially don’t have time to be sick!!!! Oooh, our enemy is good at kicking a girl when she’s already down.
Can you relate?
Seeing things more clearly today after getting some much needed rest, I am reminded that my thoughts from yesterday aren’t the truth. They were based on the way I was feeling at the time.
Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do good things he planned for us long ago.” Yep, I’m God’s masterpiece. I believe that qualifies me for great things. And it’s not based on feelings, it’s the Truth. That’s what I have to hang on to, especially when I’m sick and feeling sorry for myself.
Today, I’m still sick. Fever is still going up. And I really don’t have time for this, I have too much to do. (Isn’t that true of most of us?) I can’t do anything about it, but I can do something about my thoughts during my sickness. And today I’ve decided to dwell on the fact that I am God’s masterpiece. God’s sick masterpiece, but nevertheless, His masterpiece. And all those other things I was worried about, I trust Him to take care of those too.
Just thought I’d share a few thoughts from the trenches.
Love and Blessings,