“Some people think that going through the losses or crises of life are the exceptional times,” says Dr. H. Norman Wright. “I see it differently. I see the times of calm as the exceptions. Life is really going through one loss after another, one crisis after another.”
That pretty much sums up my life, that’s for sure. It’s always something. For so long I just kept waiting for life to get simpler and have reduced stress and strife. Now I just accept life as it is and deal with it. I’m better prepared. Don’t confuse this with being down in the dumps. I’m not. With each crisis, there is a blessing. And hope is always alive. It’s just that life is not easy.
I’m reading through the book, Through a Season of Grief. It is a series of devotions by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard on grief. I never wanted my daily devotions to deal with grief. Ever. I still don’t.
With that said, this book has helped me to know that my grief is normal. My mom died a little over 6 months ago. Let me just try to define my grief to you.
I feel like no one understands. No way they could.
I hurt. I’m in pain.
At times I feel overwhelmed. Like I can’t breathe. Tears come without invitation.
I never knew how bad I could hurt.
Some days are fine. Those are the days I choose not to think about it.
I didn’t just lose a person. I lost my encourager, my friend, the one who always loved me, the one who knew me so well, the shoulder I could cry on, the arms that embraced and comforted me, the one who cheered me up, the one who understood me, the one who rescued me, the one who was proud of me, the one who was always there for me, the one I could count on, and the one who made me feel special. My mother.
I’m not just grieving one. I’m grieving each one.
And sadness comes when I least expect it.