Jan 27

10:00 am, 44 Years ago

Oh wow. This one is gonna be a hard one to write. I want to keep it upbeat (because it’s my birthday) but it’s also kinda sad for me. I’m sorry, but I have to go there.

44 years ago today, I met my mother. And every year since, she has sung “Happy Birthday” to me on my birthday. But not this year.

It’s times like this that I just can’t believe she’s not here anymore. I mean, really???? Mom is gone? No no no no no.

Last year, I knew that it would be my last birthday with my mother. So I spent my birthday at her house. Here we are:

Isn’t she absolutely beautiful?  Even though I knew it would be my last birthday with her, I don’t think I really had a handle on what that meant. Just a little less than 2 months later, she died. Yes I know she’s in a better place. Yes, I know she’s with Jesus. And I’m glad and thankful for that. But oh my how I miss her. I want her here with me. (selfish) I am in big time tears as I write this today. I look at the picture and I have such a longing in my heart to be with my mama.

My mother loved to wish me Happy Birthday at exactly 10:00 am because that was the time of my birth.  Today at 10:00 am I believe she, along with the angel chorus in Heaven, will sing to me.  I like that thought so please don’t tell me any different :)

Ok, I’m done with the grieving portion of my post. Well maybe.

John 10:10. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” ~ Jesus

I love this verse. The thief (Satan, our enemy) would love for me to dwell and mope over the fact that my mom isn’t here. And believe me I could!  He wants to steal, kill, and destroy my birthday celebration.  Well keep reading. Jesus came so that we could HAVE life.  And not only have it mildly, but LIVE IT TO THE FULL.  Sure I’ll miss Mom this year, but I also rejoice that I have so much to live for. Sure I’d like to go back to that day in the picture above when we were snuggled up in her bed, but I also rejoice that I had a fabulous mother for 43 years. And she lives on in me. In my kids. And her sweet dog Maggie is now my sweet dog.

I realize this post is a lot of rambling, but I needed it. Thank you for being my sounding board.

Ok, just so no one feels sorry for me today, I want you to know that I am celebrating big this year!  My family has been hushing around keeping secrets. All I know is that steak is in my future :)  All other secrets are being kept from me.  That makes me happy.  (FYI, My sweet hubby, Jeff, asked me what was on my healthy eating plan. My only request, no desserts. Yep that’s right. I don’t really like sweets that much anyway. Put the candles in the cow, I luv me sum beef! And more than that I love my family!) I’m celebrating with my husband and kids  today. I also share this day with my co-worker, Teri. P31 always makes a big deal of our birthdays. Only they try to make it a surprise, every year.  So, I have no idea what they are doing! On Friday, one of my favorite girls outside of our immediate family (seriously like a 2nd daughter to me) in the whole wide world is coming to visit for the weekend. And on Friday night, we are going to my BFF’s Denise’s house to celebrate with some more of my favorite people. Games, music, family, and friends. Life is good. See, I’m livin’ it up!  I can miss my mom and still carry on.

Today is my birthday and I am so thankful for so much.

10:00 am, 44 Years ago, I was born.  God had a plan for my life and it is being fulfilled.  He loves me. He accepts me.  He knows me.  And I bet He even sings Happy Birthday to me.  Yes at 10:00 am, 44 years ago, God was pleased with His creation.  Born to my mother. Living for Jesus. And made for more. Living life to the full.

Happy Birthday to me.

Melissa

Comments

  1. God bless you and I hope you have an awesome birthday!!!!

  2. Love, love, love the picture! May God bless you on your b-day and throughout this year!! You were made for m-o-r-e!!!

  3. I love you sweet Melissa and I want to wish you a Happy Birthday. May God give you strength to get through the day and joy with your beautiful family.
    Happy birthday angel girl.

  4. Happy Blessed Birthday and so many more to come!

  5. Thank GOD for sweet Melissa Taylor and Happy Birthday to YOU! thank you for sharing that picture of you and your beautiful Mother……the picture touched me so much…….I am celebrating BOTH of your lives today and so thankful for God’s hand in your life! Happy Day!

  6. Happy Birthday Melissa I am so sorry your momma is gone to be with Jesus. Soak up the memories of her and the memories will make you smile….
    God be with you…..Kathy Mills

  7. Melissa,

    i don’t know you, but i love you happy birthday. God bless you

    sandy b

  8. Happy Birthday, Melissa! Your post was beautiful. It reminded me of my mother who’s with the Lord almost 31 years now, but I still miss her like crazy. But I know that, like your mom, she’s in a better place. And maybe they’ve met by now. :) Anyway, I hope you had a wonderful day and that you have an even better weekend!

  9. Happy birthday, dear one! Keep those memories of your mom close at heart! I sure do of my mom! May God bless you in many ways!

  10. Hope that you have had a wonderful birthday. I know that you miss your Mom so much. My mother died in April 2009 and it is still hard to go ” home” and not really have a home to go too anymore. I still have relatives where she lived but that is not home even though I enjoy seeing them. I know where she is but I still miss her so much. I am enjoying the study and connecting with all these ladies on the discussion boards. I was going to watch the webcast this week on Tuesday night but it froze up when they introduced Renee and JJ. I hope that there is a way eventually to watch them again. Thanks fo much for all you have done with this study and I know this time will be different for a lot of us. I am starting on Chapter 5 so I’m a little behind but I will catch up. The conference call was very interesting. Looking forward to the next one.

  11. Stephanie F. says:

    I’m a day late on reading this post, but THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET! If I were there with you now, I’d want to give you a great big hug. I know we’ve never met, but I am so PROUD of you. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I’m so excited to be on this journey with you. We are MADE FOR MORE.

  12. Sing it out LOUD my friend, Living for Jesus!

    Well Happy Birthday dear Melissa. And gosh this post convicted to me to be a little more kinder and patient with my mom. Because indeed there is no one like mom.

  13. We are so happy too that you were born. You have been a blessing in so many of our lives, and I for one, just met you recently. So know we are thankful for you, and know that we too will one day feel as you do when our Mothers leave this earth. Just think, one day in heaven, you will once again hear your Mother singing to you, as you behold The Lamb of God! I am so sorry for your sadness. One thing to be thankful for is that you had such a loving relationship, that others never have the blessing of having. You are truly blessed. Happy Birthday!

  14. tabitha morrow says:

    Melissa,
    sorry I am late reading, today is my catch up day… sounds like God really blessed you on your birthday! As I looked at your picture of you and your mom, tears began to flow… my dad died in February 06′ with colon cancer. I spent many a days in his bed with him watching tv, reading the bible , sometimes just sitting there while he slept… my last birthday spent with him was the best ….and the next one was so very hard, remembering how he would call early in the morning to wish me happy bday. No one on this earth loved me like he did… in his own little way… though for most of his life he wasn’t a christian he taught me the truth of unconditional love that I find right now in the arms of JESUS. I choose my word for 2011 this morning and posted it on KLOVE – RELEASE and then I came over to read your blog and there probably was the most thing I have been needing to release to HIM all over again, the hurt and pain of losing someone I miss so badly, but praise God my dad is with my FATHER in heaven , safe, secure, resting free from pain….. and there will be a day when I join him there ! May God bless you Melissa as you share your heart and life for the cause of ministering to God’s girls! I love you sister and thank God for you and all of the Lysa Terkeursts in the world who are making a difference! P.S. your family is beautiful!

  15. I just read this post – I, too, lost my Mom last year. I miss her everyday and long to have her back with me. She was my best friend and she meant the world to me. Thank you for your positive spin on the situation and for reminding me of all I have that is good! In fact, just over the last couple of days I have really seen my Mom in my 2 1/2 year old daughter and it’s made me smile!