Oh wow. This one is gonna be a hard one to write. I want to keep it upbeat (because it’s my birthday) but it’s also kinda sad for me. I’m sorry, but I have to go there.
44 years ago today, I met my mother. And every year since, she has sung “Happy Birthday” to me on my birthday. But not this year.
It’s times like this that I just can’t believe she’s not here anymore. I mean, really???? Mom is gone? No no no no no.
Last year, I knew that it would be my last birthday with my mother. So I spent my birthday at her house. Here we are:
Isn’t she absolutely beautiful? Even though I knew it would be my last birthday with her, I don’t think I really had a handle on what that meant. Just a little less than 2 months later, she died. Yes I know she’s in a better place. Yes, I know she’s with Jesus. And I’m glad and thankful for that. But oh my how I miss her. I want her here with me. (selfish) I am in big time tears as I write this today. I look at the picture and I have such a longing in my heart to be with my mama.
My mother loved to wish me Happy Birthday at exactly 10:00 am because that was the time of my birth. Today at 10:00 am I believe she, along with the angel chorus in Heaven, will sing to me. I like that thought so please don’t tell me any different
Ok, I’m done with the grieving portion of my post. Well maybe.
John 10:10. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” ~ Jesus
I love this verse. The thief (Satan, our enemy) would love for me to dwell and mope over the fact that my mom isn’t here. And believe me I could! He wants to steal, kill, and destroy my birthday celebration. Well keep reading. Jesus came so that we could HAVE life. And not only have it mildly, but LIVE IT TO THE FULL. Sure I’ll miss Mom this year, but I also rejoice that I have so much to live for. Sure I’d like to go back to that day in the picture above when we were snuggled up in her bed, but I also rejoice that I had a fabulous mother for 43 years. And she lives on in me. In my kids. And her sweet dog Maggie is now my sweet dog.
I realize this post is a lot of rambling, but I needed it. Thank you for being my sounding board.
Ok, just so no one feels sorry for me today, I want you to know that I am celebrating big this year! My family has been hushing around keeping secrets. All I know is that steak is in my future All other secrets are being kept from me. That makes me happy. (FYI, My sweet hubby, Jeff, asked me what was on my healthy eating plan. My only request, no desserts. Yep that’s right. I don’t really like sweets that much anyway. Put the candles in the cow, I luv me sum beef! And more than that I love my family!) I’m celebrating with my husband and kids today. I also share this day with my co-worker, Teri. P31 always makes a big deal of our birthdays. Only they try to make it a surprise, every year. So, I have no idea what they are doing! On Friday, one of my favorite girls outside of our immediate family (seriously like a 2nd daughter to me) in the whole wide world is coming to visit for the weekend. And on Friday night, we are going to my BFF’s Denise’s house to celebrate with some more of my favorite people. Games, music, family, and friends. Life is good. See, I’m livin’ it up! I can miss my mom and still carry on.
Today is my birthday and I am so thankful for so much.
10:00 am, 44 Years ago, I was born. God had a plan for my life and it is being fulfilled. He loves me. He accepts me. He knows me. And I bet He even sings Happy Birthday to me. Yes at 10:00 am, 44 years ago, God was pleased with His creation. Born to my mother. Living for Jesus. And made for more. Living life to the full.
Happy Birthday to me.