Sep 26

I Stink At Life

Yep…that’s what I put on Twitter 2 days ago.  And I meant it.  The whole post read like this: I stink at life.Try to be honest but sometimes I wonder if I should keep more to myself? Being real vs. Being reserve?? Idk. Care to share?

Gotta be real here…I wear my heart my sleeve.  If I feel it, I often say it.  Not always a good thing.  Sometimes being real comes back to bite me.  At the same time…I wouldn’t be any other way.  It’s who I am.

Here’s what a few Twitter followers had to say.  Good stuff:


I think the challenge is sharing what&when God wants you to share. Sometimes being real, is more about being obedient to Him.

I have the same problem. I think I scare people off by being too real! Result 4 me is loneliness and pain.

I  feel the same way… But I think u are amazing and am grateful to be in contact with someone so real! U r a blessing!

BUT…YOU are helping lots of women…so be real. :)

Feel the same way! :) How much should you share and keep to yourself? And who cares enough to listen & is it helpful?

You don’t stink at life. You care!

We should always be transparent, but vulnerable with a safe few.

We have to be careful and prayerful to recognize the levels to which we can be real with various people in our lives.

… Gotta be real! Honor yourself with who you are always.

It’s a fine line that’s for sure.  Being me is one of my biggest doubts!  I question myself.  At the same time, I’ve tried to cover me up and it didn’t work so well.
Y’all, we don’t need to cover who we are.  There will be people who will try to tell us who we are isn’t good enough.  We have to know who were are in Christ…we have to know what God’s Word says about us…because in this world we will fall short. We will disappoint.
We won’t measure up.
I stink at life.
But God is bigger.  He loves us.  His promises are enough. We don’t have to listen to the voices that don’t believe in us. God always believes in us.Doubt surrounds us.  God’s love conquers doubt.
His Princess, Love Letters From Your King by Sheri Rose Shepherd is a book that has helped me overcome my doubt and believe God and His Word. I’d like to give you a chance to win this book today.  Author, Sheri Rose Shepherd, is the very first conference call guest on our series this study. I am so honored to have her join us!  Comment here today how this study has encouraged you so far and you will be entered to win. Winner announced Wednesday morning.
Let me hear from you.  How has Chapter 2 spoken to you so far?  What about the memory verse?  Please do share!
Ladies, if you feel similar to me…let me just tell you, YOU DON’T STINK AT LIFE!!!   Yes, we might mess up.  Yes we might be a little too real or trusting at times.  But no matter what just be yourself.  And I’m gonna try to keep doing that too.
Love and Blessings!  I Love Y’all!  <3


  1. Michele Caséca says:

    Hi dear Melissa,
    I really didn’t have a chance to respond your twitter, but I think you are AMAZING. With the whole package: the good days and the bad days… you never stink… you carry a fragrance. You fill any room you enter with the fragrance of Christ. I love you and I learn so much from you! You change me for the better!

    Chapter 2 is really touching my heart. I SOOO relate to Sam: rejected by almost everyone around her but accepted by Jesus.
    I’m trying really hard to believe I don’t stink at life. I’m letting God shape my heart and my character, instead of crying all day thinking change is not possible.
    Some days are easier, some days are like today, when I hardly have strength to get out of bed, and when I do, I just want to meet Jesus at the well.

    Blessings. Michele

  2. The following excerpts touched my heart this week:

    “Wouldn’t you love to be in such a safe place that you could stop pretending and be real with God and yourself (and eventually others) about where you are and how you got there?”

    “He initiated conversation and asked her for the one thing she had to offer: water. It wasn’t much, but it was a starting point.”
    “Jesus knew Sam, like us, longed to be loved and pursued for who she was—not for what she could do but simply for herself.”
    “We can offer nothing but our presence, and He will desire us just the same.”

    I so admire authenticity, transparent intimacy in those who abide in the heart-knowledge of God’s Love, so filled that there is no room for doubt, fear and false pride to take up residence.

    Although I have made marked strides in removing some of my masks, I know that I have not yet let the gospel of God’s grace move from my head to my heart so that I know without a doubt that I am known intimately and loved completely by God?

  3. Olayinka Okunola says:

    Hello Melissa,
    I really relate so much with Sam, I encouraged my husband to stop attending his family church because of the stares and the judgement I see in his family and friends’ eyes (although I told him it was because the church is far from our new house). I also try to avoid their parties and even when I must attend I put up a wall of defense around me so that people don’t see how much I am hurting. People ask how are you and I lie through my teeth that I am fine, when I am really not fine, I wish people would just stop asking that.
    I have read chapter two, I think I am going to read it again and again till the truth sinks inside me, God’s love for me is perfect even though I am not and I don’t even have to be! He knows who I am and who I can be and He will complete that which He has started.

    Thanks to Breinny and my dear friend Michele for your wonderful love and support (tearing up!), when I joined this study I thought I was going to just learn about the word of God (which is good) but didn’t know I will meet so many wonderful and amazing people. Dear Melissa, may the Lord strengthen your work and your ministry. Amen.


    • Hugs and love to you, Yinka, dear sweet Sister! I felt as though I had been waiting my whole life to become a mother, but in hindsight I can see that the Lord used that time to grow me — I had lessons to learn in those years that helped to shape me into the mother and wife my family needs, and I am so much better for it. The wisdom of God’s timing is always perfect! So enjoy this phase of growth, Sister — and take heart that whatever God has in store for you, it will be very good!

    • Michele Caséca says:

      You are welcome, sweet Yinka… and so loved by our Almighty God.
      Hugs, Mi

  4. As a single mother (twice divorced) I really identify with Sam. I have been discarded by two men… I have children to now take care of single handedly because I have tried to find love and acceptance in wrong places! I have often thought of the struggle of raising twins as “punishment” for having sought out love from man and not from God. I still don’t know if it isn’t a bit of that punishment part, but I am trying to believe that this is a struggle God has given me to make me stronger and that I should be grateful that God loves me enough to allow me to endure through this challenge! I HATE being alone! I long for the love and acceptance that only He can give. I want grace to move from my head to my heart… badly…I know that this is what is needed to heal this loneliness and not seeking another man to fix my problems… but how can move it to my heart? I pray, I believe, I know God love me. I KNOW is the key… head not heart. Why can’t I move it to my heart? That is my prayer for today… Please Lord show me how to move your love and grace from my head to my heart.

    • Staci,
      I felt a “tug” to reply to your post, which I usually don’t even post so the fact that I am doing this is HUGE. I just wanted to tell you that your twins are a blessing from God (not a punishment) and he gave you them for a purpose. Life can be very tough and I won’t even pretend to know what you are going through because I am raising my two boys with a spouse but I still have days when I feel down and depressed. But I always try to change what I am struggling with into something positive. Such as when I am faced with the endless housework…I say to myself (and sometimes out loud) “I am grateful to be washing these dishes because it means that we had food to eat as so many don’t. Thank you Lord for the food you provide for us.” and so on as I complete the laundry, mopping the floor, picking up toys, etc. It is very hard (if not impossible) to feel negative at the same time that you are feeling grateful. Thanks for letting me share this with you. Hope it helps a little. And remember you may be single but you are not alone; HE is always with you. :)

  5. I am so excited about this Bible Study. The first week meant so much to me and now as I am confronted with God’s love I am meditating cosidering what God’s love looks like. I guess I have been pretty selfish in reserving my love for my family and friends. I have reached out to so many through our motorcycle ministry, as a Sunday school teacher, teaching Bible Studies but it seems everytime I am led to go “beyond the walls” of my life I endure trials and problems. I don’t mean day to day things, I mean life changing events. Now I am afraid to say yes to anyone who asks me to serve in any way. The bottom line is I don’t want anymore problems than I already have. I pray God will fill me with his love and it spills over to others around me!! Have to admit I am afraid to venture on with this study.

  6. I’m just finishing up chapter 2. Think I’ll go back and read again. (With the highlighter) You know, I feel that i have been discarding myself. Not feeling like I have been good enough, maybe for a specific task or person. Maybe I was looking to those things to bring me acceptance but I almost sense that i have not yet accepted myself and am not allowing the truth (of my heavenly Father’s acceptance of me) to settle into my mind and heart. Good thing I’m here. :))

  7. Oh Melissa, where to begin….somedays I think the same thing, I stink at life! Yesterday was an interesting day and by the time I crawled in bed, I was in tears. I couldn’t figure it out. But then I thought back over the last few hours and I realized that I was letting my thinking go off on it’s own and it went nowhere real fast. By that time I was too tired, too hurt, and really didn’t care anymore, so I went to bed. I woke up feeling better but yet my heart is still heavy. Maybe God is trying to point something out to me, hmmm….

    Anyhow most of Chapter 2 spoke volumes to me, I have just about the whole chapter 2 underlined. I do think when I try to cover or hide the real me, that’s when I am at my worst, but yet…..oh idk.

    Anyhow, the book His Princess, Love Letters From Your King by Sheri Rose Shepherd sounds awesome. Have a great day Melissa and God bless you, Renee, and all the people who make this Bible Study possible.

  8. I love you!

    OTC Hugs,

  9. Melissa,
    I often wonder if this book is all about me! I have struggled with who I really am for years! Always trying to please everyone else and to be who They thought I should be. No one ever knew that I was dying inside. I tried to fill the whole in my heart with anything and everything except God. I messed up my life what would God want with me? I thought I wasn’t good enough for God! It was a long time coming but something that was said last year at Women of Faith hit home and I realized that God doesn’t expect perfection just for me to seek a relationship with Him. It is still hard for me to comprehend why He loves me but I know He does. It has been a good study for me.

  10. When you get into God’s word, the enemy gets busy. There must be a reason this study had crossed my path and I thank God for you. Perseverence leads to God’s glory and victory.

  11. Dawn from Michigan says:

    Hi Melissa,
    I am so happy to be in this study! Last week’s memory verse spoke volumes to me about perservering and receiving what God has promised. It went perfectly with another verse God had recently laid on my heart, Hebrews 12:11 “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness for those who have been trained by it.”
    One of the biggest areas I struggle with is disciplining my two teenage boys. And homeschooling makes it even more crucial of a need!
    In Ch 2, I loved the statement, “As children of God we were designed to find our identity, our significance, and our confidence in Him.”
    And also, “The only way we’ll have a confident heart is if we move beyond knowing about God to knowing and relying on Him–to depending on His Word with our whole heart, mind, and soul.”
    Praying for you, Melissa, and the staff and all the ladies inthe study.

  12. Teresa Marine says:

    Good Morning Ladies….I am getting so much from this study – the best part is realizing how very much God loves me & you; he led us to this study!! Which I truly needed. A confident heart I am learning I have; God has always been with me, I just need to “Trust in the Power of that Truth”! Thank you so much Melissa…and all those involved in this ministry….what a blessing.

  13. Peggy Ann Kennedy says:

    God is love. Those who love live in God and God lives in …[them]. I am not sure if I got this verse right just yet but I will by the end of the week (or even today). As a child I was close to my father but he passed away when I was ten and I had never felt my mom approved of me so I have always been bending over backwards to receive her approval and never got it. I became what she would tell me I was, worthless, ( in the eyes of people) I still try to be perfect to win God over with good acts it is such a relief to find He approves of me no matter what. Now I need to absorb that truth and sink it deep into my heart.

  14. Hi Melissa and ladies!

    I’ve been really blessed in reading and meditating on Ch. 1& 2. As with Sam, Jesus also pursues me and initiates conversations with me. By doing this, He tells me I am valuable. I have felt by the leaving of some in my life (when I have been unloving at times) that I was not worth staying for or fighting for. I wanted others to go a little deeper with me. To try to find out what’s causing my pain. They would find that I just wanted their love and care. I’m thankful that I can go to Jesus for His unfailing love. He is patient and kind and He doesn’t keep track of my wrongs. May we all continue in our quest for a confident heart. Jesus will answer our hearts desire.

    P.S. I even started dreaming about the truths I’ve been reading about in the first two chapters. What sweet dreams I had! :)

  15. Melissa, I love this bible study. I soooo need to work on my confidence. I know that what I need is an intimate relationship with God. Through that relationship with God, my confidence will be restored. Chapter 2 was awsome for me. I plan on rereading today. I do have to tell you though, after chapter 1 I gained enough confidence to pick up the phone and call my dad and forgive him for past wrongs. I haven’t spoke to him in 27 years. Because of this bible study I have been more in the word and so I felt like God was moving me towards this “forgiveness” phone call. Thanks for the opportunity. God works so well through you, to so many.

    • Christine,
      I read your comment to our entire office staff then called Renee Swope to read it to her too! This is AMAZING!! Praise God for working in you and giving you the confidence to something very difficult. I know God is so proud of you and smiling today :) God’s Word has great power. Your actions show that. You are very brave and I think you are fabulous!

  16. Melissa– you don’t stink at life.. i love you and you don’t know how much your sweet spirit has encouraged me.. i am praying for you.. as for me.. i am still stuck on memory verse from chapter 1 God is teaching me so much through that. Do not throw away your confidence.. no matter what Jenn

  17. Melissa- THANK YOU again oh so much for following GOD’S leading to minister to me and so many women around the world!!! My first reading through chapt. 2 uncovered lots of pearls, but the one that really seemed to stick out was how it’s easy for us to think of GOD like a genie, hoping HE will grant our wants and wishes, minimizing HIS wisdom, thinking we know what’s best for our lives. Just like Sam wanted JESUS to change the course of her day, but she needed him to change the course of her life. I am SO much like her, just wanting GOD to change my day when in reality HE’S waiting, wanting to change my life and the way I approach each day!! As Renee says in chapt. 2, GOD is pursuing us, HE wants us to stop, come up close, and turn our hearts to listen to HIS. I get a great picture of HIM, as my FATHER, sitting in HIS chair and me crawling up on HIS lap and listening to HIM!! This day, I will focus on HIS pursuit of me, how very much HE loves me, and how HE is just waiting for me to listen to HIM!!! GOD IS LOVE, whoever lives in love, lives in GOD, and GOD in him (her)!! LOVE THAT!!!
    btw, YOU DON’T STINK AT LIFE :-)

  18. Carol Bruntlett says:

    Hi Melissa
    You are so awesome I love how you are real with us I want to be like you when I grow up, I don’t know you personally but I just feel that you love with all your heart and you care deeply Thank you for leading these bible studies.
    I have always felt I have had to seek people’s approval since I was a kid at the age of six I have fought to get where God has me at today I have felt so many times that I have thrown my confidence in the trash, I have always tried to seek approval in all the wrong places when only God matters.I always feel like I walk on egg shells around certain people in my life and God and I are working on that . On the verse I am getting it but it is hard because I want people to love me and care for me but sometimes it gets hard always chasing my tail and trying to bend over backwards to get family approval. But the scripture verse says 4:16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him. Verse 17- In this way love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement because in this world we are like him. Lord help me to look to You and Lord people are always going to be critical of me but Lord I know You love me for who I am and I can be free to be me. Thank You Lord that You don’t expect me to be perfect, As I say I have a couple of rips in my jeans and a couple of dents in my fenders but You Lord have created me to be me and to be free.

  19. “Sometimes I think we tell people we’re fine even when we are not, because we want to be fine. FINE = Frazzled, Irritated Neurotic Exhausted” Renee writes. This is very true, for me at least. I have to be fine, don’t I? I teach children in the church, am raising my kids, work full time and have to keep my husband content, not voice my opinions (or at least too loudly), and make everyone happy around me. I am too loud, opinionated, etc. The list goes on at the items I am working on to build a godly character and I am balancing life and always putting God first then family. Every where I turn there is someone correcting me…how I can be a better mother and wife. A better teacher and friend. Do not get me wrong, I want to be a more godly woman (that is why I am going to church, praying and doing this study). But I am not fine. I am not. And if I told you I wasn’t how would you react? Do you care? Most likely you don’t. I find no one really does. I am the only one that seems to care about every one else, keeping it all smooth and keeping every one happy…all the time. And if they are not, I feel it is my fault. I want to be real with someone. I want someone to care about me. And there is some one who does. I met him at the well. I was thirsty and there he was. His name is Jesus. He cares about me and you. He cares about Sam and offers her water and she will thirst no more. I do not want to be thirsty any more. I want my cup to overflow with Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus, in the morning when I rise, Give me Jesus.

  20. Deanna Clardy says:

    After reading this post, all I can do is sit here in awe of how you take my heart and my thoughts and so eloquently put them to words! I wonder, how in the world does she know what’s going on in my life and with my emotions?! I have asked myself over and over these same questions. I have had my feelings hurt so many times trying to be real with my “friends” and even those I feel closer with. Not always such a good thing, I’ve come to learn. I’m left disappointed and frustrated. But I’m trying to change all that through Christ and Christ alone. This study is so what I have needed my whole life and I am truly grateful for it and for you! Thank you for all you do and for being REAL! So refreshing to know I am not alone in this. Be blessed dear sister! <3

  21. I’ve tried to write something else, but my words are clunky right now. So, I’ll say it simple-like: We love you, Melissa. God chose you to lead this Study. He never, EVER makes mistakes. Yay.

  22. I love the reminder on page 37 that God is waiting (so patiently), for me to stop, come up CLOSE and turn my heart to listen to His. I have spent the summer practicing Psalm 63:8 – “My soul follows close behind thee.” I have had to “live” in that place – keeping my eyes on Jesus. One of the things I have learned during this time is that when you are following close behind someone who is bigger than you are you cannot see the path ahead of you – that is where God is telling me to stay – so close behind Him that only He can lead and guide and be my eyes. Whenever I strayed off the path and tried to look ahead all my doubts and fears and uncertainty came rushing at me like a freight train and I would nearly be blown off my feet. But as long I remained “close behind” I was enveloped in peace and calm and safety. It is in that place that I can receive His perfect love!

  23. Jennifer Rasor says:

    MELISSA!!!! Thank you so much for this post!!! I, too, wear my heart on my sleeve, and am often wayyyyy to open on Facebook. I have had people tell me that I shouldn’t share so much on Facebook, I have had people tell me I am too negative, etc. But this is a very, very sensitive subject for me because it angers me to see people being so far reserved that they are closed off and unwilling to share anything about their lives, their hurts, etc. with others. Yes, I do take it too far sometimes and you have to know when to share and when to keep things to yourself, or when to share w/ a limited number of close friends, but at the same time I think that too many people keep themselves and their feelings hidden, and when we do that, we do God and each other a great disservice. Do you ladies know how many other women or people their are out there who feel so isolated, and like they could never share their hearts or pain with others because they feel so much shame, or loneliness, they feel like no one will understand or they will be rejected? But if you would share your story, they would find out they are NOT alone, and would be set free, and the enemy could no longer continue to have that hold on you or that other person!!!!! So my response to your “Life stinks” post, Melissa? I say be yourself and be honest. I just posted something the other day similar that said, “Life is really hard right now. I want it to be different, but it’s just not.” Anyway, that’s my two cents.

    Chapter two of Renee’s book has been very encouraging to me! I resonate w/ so many of the things she talks about going through…the doubts, the insecurities, etc. I am so glad she wrote this book to share with us. One of the things I highlighted from page 31: “We fear that if people know we doubt ourselves, they’ll start doubting us too.” And on page 32, “Pretending leads to isolation. What we need is someone who will pursue us and accept us even though we’re flawed. Yet most of us doubt anyone would ever stick with us if we let them get too close. So we put up walls and hide our struggles, even from God, hoping we’ll convince Him and everyone else that we’re fine.” Yup.

    The memory verse, “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him (her)” (1 John 4:16), is perfect for me right now. I am going through some things that I cannot share here because it is a little too personal, but that have had me in great pain, regret, sadness, depression, anxiety, etc. And I have wanted so bad to lash out at others in my pain and in my defense…and at times I have done that. But this verse reminds me to live in love…because if I don’t, then I am not abiding in God. I have to remember Whose I am. This is hard when I’m hurting, but it’s so necessary. Thankfully I am feeling better last night and today. And do you know what started it? I used to send group texts to friends…just a positive note w/ a Scripture, and I had not done that in a very long time…over a year. Yesterday I decided to step out of my negative pit long enough to send one of those positive texts out. And do you know what happened? Immediately my spirit lifted, and my day got better! Then last night I went to a ladies Bible study on Creation/Genesis, and I MARVELED at God’s creation of the animals and how there is just NO WAY we evolved!!!! I left feeling soooo….what’s the word? Just full of joy and thankfulness and awe. I hope I can continue to do positive things that will help me rather than hurt me and others. I want so badly to step out of the negative cycle I’ve been in for so long, for good, and never look back, except to be able to continue to relate to and help people going through similar struggles.


    • Jennifer Rasor says:

      The other reason it makes me mad is when people walk around asking each other “how are you?” and when you’re honest, they don’t like it! Ha! Don’t ask! ;)~ That’s just my two cents, though. Some days are good, some are not so good…we shouldn’t have to hide it when we’re going through either, BUT, we should always be sensitive to what others are going through and how our “sharing” might negatively affect them. It’s tough!

    • Jennifer Rasor says:

      Sorry for the multiple posts, but I meant to share this in my original one. I was listening to this song on the way to work and I thought it was perfect to go along w/ Melissa’s post… Hope you enjoy! :)

  24. Funny that this is the post I read today. I’m feeling just that way. Sometimes I feel that I’m listening so closely and following and about that time I take a nose dive right into the dirt. My heart’s desire is to serve Him and love others- at the same time, I would love to have a LIFE mate to share my life with…I look back and see how my choices – or the choices of others (!) have stunk and I really do wonder if I’m going to get this right…or go ’round that mountain one more time. Pass the deodorant, please…

  25. Dearest Sister, Melissa…as I read the outpouring of love and encouragement coming your way this morning, what could I possibly add? :-) Know that this struggle you face is mine, too — but because of the work the Lord is doing in me, and because of the studies we have done together, I am finding discernment and peace in what/when/how to share — I take a moment to let the Spirit do a “heart check” in me and then give me the words to share (and the words are His – He knows what will touch people, I don’t always). Whatever has caused you to pause in doubt, know that it’s the work of the one who knows how to best discourage you…and it’s because the work you do glorifies the Lord SO MUCH — good grief, can you even imagine how ticked you make Satan? LOL! 😉

    Heart on my sleeve…and hopefully words of the Spirit on my tongue…

  26. Judi Splint says:

    One reply you received from twitter regarding a life full of lonliness and pain. Yes, that is me. I really do stink at life. I seem to too often say the wrong things and at the wrong time. I too often question and requestion what I have said. I fret about how someone has received what I have said to either them, or in the hearing of others. I worry about how I am perceived by others. At times, when I feel I have been too boisterous, I will draw back and quietly sit in the background. Instead of being dubbed a silent one, I fear later that I am dubbed the unfriendly one. When I speak and laugh, I fear I am too loud; too overtaking of the situation. That I demand too much attention. In short, I can’t win no matter what I do. I tend to stay away more and more from social situations now. I don’t want to, but I find myself feeling so closed in by my fears, that I shrink away, into my car and back to my safe haven; my home. My husband is so frustrated by this. I feel trapped.

  27. Good morning ladies, It is great to read such great words of encouragement from all of you to everyone before I go out and face the world. I just wanted to say as for what has struck me as far as chapter 2, is the line where maybe we don’t know what our struggles are, but Jesus does. That is how I feel, I think I get mine narrowed down, but come to find out I am wrong.

  28. Melissa,

    I read your tweet and didn’t get a chance to respond, I’m still new to twitter but the first thing I thought when I read it was this – ‘the only reason I joined this Bible Study’ was because of how real and transparent you are! You have such a sweet spirit. I enjoyed the ‘It’s No Secret’ Bible Study and your genuiness was so encouraging.

    I have not completed Chp. 2 yet, but I will today. At the light yesterday I pulled out ACH, read and thought that Renee’s writing is so real! I underlined, this sentence yesterday – pg 32 “so we put up walls and hide our struggles, even from God, hoping we’ll convince Him and everyone else that we’re fine.” I experienced this type of pretense for years, hoping that everyone would see that I was all right that a working, married mother of 5 could take on anything! When all along, God knew I was struggling and I thought I was fooling Him too – :) how silly of me – lol.

    Melissa your being so REAL is what has drawn me to this Bible Study and I thank God for you everyday because now I know that I am not alone in my struggles and more importantly – that we serve a God who cares and doesn’t want us to through away our confidence!

    ………I’m so blessed by everyone here and how you ladies are just as REAL as Melissa.

    Love you all,

  29. my my i am a mess…when i first read your comment i was surprised but your honesty is a Blessing…..i will be okay knowing God is in control and has always taken great care of me :O) Jeremiah 32:27 I would be Blessed to get this book and if not then i will still be Blessed!!!

    • Awesome verse Karen! Thanks for sharing it. I can put that one to a lot of use! Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there anything too hard for me?

  30. I have struggled my entire life with feeling unloved, insecure, unworthy, and doomed to failure. If something I started began to succeed I would begin to destroy it myself. My parents “had” to get married because of me and this was the early ’60’s. They lived with my father’s parents who were very strict Baptist, wonderful loving people but I’m sure that I was a constant reminder and source of embarassment to everyone. Though not intentionally I always felt their shame. I never even knew when their wedding anniversary was until about 5 or 6 years ago because they didn’t celebrate it. That would be announcing to everyone that they “had” to get married since I was only about 6 months older than the number of years they had been married. I have been married 5 times and when I opened up and began reading week 2, the woman at the well I fell apart. I knew that God was speaking to me. I must admit that I am still hearing that voice say, “It won’t work. You will still fail and go back to old ways so just quit now.” But I am continuing and asking for prayer to defeat Satan and his voice. There is so much hurt in my life and so many broken relationships because of the decisions I have willfully made, for self-destructive reasons. I am typing right now and struggling with doubt that my walls can come down. Please pray for me. I am also dealing with some recent health issues that just seem to be getting worse which is adding to my depression. I have a wonderful church family that holds me up, loves me, prayes for me, believes in me. Believing in myself and believing God is the problem. Thank you for the book. I will not give up.

    • Dear Sister Deborah, do not give up! I, too, am Sam at the well. And as you and I consider her, let’s not forget what Jesus did THROUGH her! Because of her faith in Him, so many people came forward to hear Jesus and be transformed, too! As we heal our brokenness with His help, God can use this life experience we’ve had to help others heal — this is the heart of His work in this world. Everyone here is broken in some way and everyone needs healing and restoration. You are not alone, but constantly companioned by Love, shepherded by Healing, and transformed by the Light. Persevere, dear sister, and you will receive what He has promised!

  31. What does love mean to me?
    Human love often fails, because we are sinners by nature. I am learning that God’s love never fails! In the last 6 months, i was devastated by someone i love dearly. I had never given so much of myself to one person, besides God, in all my life and I ended up in a mental hospital for a week, after wanting to die, because this love failed me. It took me to want to die, to want to really live.
    I am now in a closer relationship with God and very content to remain solely to Him.
    1 John 4:16 is an incredible promise. It is a reminded to me that I must walk in love, making it a action in my life. to not hang on to hurt, resentment and unforgiveness. If i do that, i live in God and ….get this….HE LIVES IN ME> now that is power, that is LOVE.
    May God Bless each and everyone reading this. Live and walk in His love and you have the King of Kings living in You!

  32. “God hates me!” I have thought this so many times while dealing with the struggles of the last year that I have made myself believe it. Not hard to make myself believe it, I see now, because it comes from my screwed up image of God…an image that says that I need to be perfect to gain his love, I need to do the right things to gain his grace, others who are blessed have that “something” that I don’t. I can read scripture that says “by grace” but in my screwed up way of processing it…it says “for everyone except you…you have to do better first.

    From Ch 2: Are there images of God in your heart that need to be replaced, repaired, or restored?


    And who am I? I am lost right now to who I really am. I I have made myself believe that who I really am is wrong, not right, not good enough. Not even for God.

    This study has me looking deeper into who God is….and to who I really am.


  33. Just the title of the second chapter speaks to me-Because God’s Love is Perfect, I Don’t Have to Be. Reading about His love for me and how much He cares for me is a reminder to me. A reminder to walk in that love each day and lean into that love when the days are tough and I feel like no one else cares about me or what I am going through.
    I am not worthy of His love and can’t do anything to deserve it-BUT I AM worth His love because He chose to give it to me!! (from the last paragraph of Chapter 2).
    This book has so much truth in it and I am thankful to be able to go through this study with everyone!
    Praying that each one of us will feel God’s love today!

  34. Robin From Michigan says:

    After reading these posts regarding chapter 2, I can identify with something written in EACH and EVERY post above! As the wife and mom who drives herself INSANE trying to “be all things to all people all the time” and often ending up feeling like a “gerbil on a wheel” most days, I LOVE the reminder in chapter 2: Because of God’s perfect love, I don’t have to be! And, also, the part about God “knowing what are struggles are even when we don’t” resonated with me. So many days I can feel “off” and not even sure why or what I need to pray for/about. What a blessing it is to know that GOD KNOWS and meets us there. It’s so encouraging reading everyone’s posts to see so many women feel alike in this area of confidence. I often feel like I’m in junior high :) , like an emotional mess, and especially when confronted with issues of CONFIDENCE in relationships with others. Good to know that you don’t have to have it all together and be a “finished product” by the time you turn 40! Phew… :)

  35. I’ve felt the same recently, so much I can’t even believe that you wrote what I felt and think. What I still feel and think really but you are right, we have to remember who we are in Christ and know that even when we stink at life God is there to get us through and we dont’ have to listen to those negative voices inside.

    This touched me and helped me more than anything I’ve read or heard in a long time

    “YOU DON’T STINK AT LIFE!!! Yes, we might mess up. Yes we might be a little too real or trusting at times. But no matter what just be yourself. And I’m gonna try to keep doing that too.”

    Thank you Melissa. For being real, for pressing into the Lord, for giving so much of yourself to us and for pointing us back to the Source of all our strength and esteem, Jesus.

  36. Kim Beasley says:

    Good morning!! I have to say that I love all the “ya’ll”s in your blog today!! We say that around here all the time, but I don’t see it in print very often! Love it…gave me a good chuckle. I haven’t been able to buy the Confident Heart book yet, so I’m still stuck on Chapter One! :( But, maybe next paycheck!
    Anway, I’ve read some of the comments here, and I can say that my life started with rejection. My mom deserted us 3 kids when I was 5, my sister was 7, and my brother was 18 months old. My dad was stationed in Turkey at the time–it took him 2 weeks to find us kids. So, life went that way for me growing up….never good enough. I mean, if your own mom doesn’t want you, who will? I finally was saved by our glorious savior when I was 30 years old….at a small country church. I sat for exactly one year in that pew (with my sister–thank God for her!!), every Sunday I sat there and cried my eyes out….letting out all the hurt. Then, on Easter I laid my heart, my body, and my life on the alter and accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour!! I got the message that Easter that Jesus loves me, God loves me…He sent his only son so I could be forgiven, saved and be promised a place in eternity with God!!! woo hoo! I am loved!!! Now, I try to love others that way…unconditionally, without judgement….right here, right now, in this moment, as who you are. I try to love others that way, and when I can’t God puts His love in my heart so it comes out of me to them.

    Have a great day!






  38. J Sonia Edwards says:

    My encouragement to all you women who have posted and shared. I haven’t received my book as yet, but have been reviewing the recommended scriptures and being brought up to speed by your posts on this blog. Spcial encouragement to Christine and Deborah. God is doing a work. Keep going through the process. Do not throw your confidence away.

  39. I can totally relate. I think too many times we beat ourselves up for being ourselves!

  40. Yeah, I get it…I feel like I’m two steps behind everyone else…Speaking of that, I just got my book and have to play catch up! “Wait for me!!!” Thanks for being real…there are so few around and hurting people are drawn to people who are real…the other ones…well…they just aren’t there yet (afraid of being real). So, you are doing well! Keep it up and don’t be afraid! God uses people who are real!

  41. Thank you so much for this study. Already I have gotten more out of it than I ever thought I could. This is my first online study. I too, try to keep it real and often feel alone, but it is who we are and God is always with us. Thank you also for introducing me to Sheri Rose Shepherd. If it was not for this study, I probably would have never heard of her. She is such a precious sister of Christ and I am now a listener of what she has to say. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

  42. Thanks for being real to all. It’s a struggle to figure out who we are and where all these doubts stem from for me. This book is helping me process through things I have tried to tune out for too long. I don’t feel like a princess of God, but I sure want to. This book and these verses are helping break down the walls I have built myself.

  43. Melissa,
    Chapter 2 has been so uplifting for me and a lifesaver. I have read it at least 4 times. Each time I read it, I see something new. I am struggling with turning my whole life over to God and trusting Him. I know He has a wonderful plan for me. I have many lessons to learn from Him. He wants me to gain confidence, trust, patience and the willingness to wait on His timing, faithfulness, and truly Believing Him, not just Believing in Him. The section in this chapter where it talks about how God wants us to sit down and talk to Him and really get to know Him and tell Him why we want the things we want and see if they line up with what He thinks we need. That has really hit home to me. God has done so much for me over the past year. He has taken a hold of me and I have had this incredible journey. It has been hard and my life has been to the pits and back. God has this love for us that is undescribable. I pray that I can find a way to show God how much I love Him. I struggle with moving my love for Him from my head to my heart. I have left Him out of my life for so many years and I am still learning what a wonderful thing it is to have God in your life and to let Him lead you.

  44. I saw your tweet but I stink at twitter so I didn’t respond. I think being real is admitting that we don’t know all of the answers… we recognize that sometimes we do stink at life, but that doesn’t matter because God has a plan no matter what, no matter how much we “try” to mess it up. You’re amazing, girl, and these Bible studies you are doing are proof that you don’t “stink”… wasn’t it you who told us to get rid of that stinkin’ thinking? =) I am loving this book… I think it was written just for me, and there are so many other women out there who I’m sure say the same thing… because it was. It was written because God knows we need to get our confidence back, in a society that is pushing us to be insecure. Thank you Melissa! Love and prayers!!

  45. Melissa, I am so thankful for this Bible study. I truly believe that God brought this in front of me because He wants to change my life from being so doubtful of myself into a confident daughter of his. I grew up in a home where yelling was the norm. I’ve been blessed by such a wonderul man that God has given to me and three beautiful children. I have seen the healing hand of God and I know He wants to fully heal my emotions. Thank you for being obedient to God and for bringing this into our homes. Many thanks !!!!

  46. I think God led me to this bible study. I have always believed in God but never had the relationship with Him that I so desired. I have always had doubt in my life and doubt tht His word could apply to me. I made my quiet time place after reading chapter 1 and the time flew by reading chapter 2 and studying and praying in my new found “quiet place”. Jesus talking with Sam at the well made me realize that if He were talking right there beside me how different that would feel with Him saying he knows all about me… Well He does know all about me and my life and my thoughts and actions but it wasn’t until reading this that it hit home. I am praying and working on being more confident and pleasing to God. Thank you Melissa for this bible study and you don’t stink at life. I love the fact that we are all being “real”.

  47. I had to report for jury duty this morning. I started having crazy thoughts about how I would answer questions addressed to me. Well, I took Hebrews 10:35&36 with me. It gave me the confidence to go knowing just being myself was the best way to go! Well, the trial got postponed before I had to utter a word…BUT I was there with confidence!!
    love the study!!

  48. I was told while being hospitalized for the depression for 5 days the importance of communication and expressing thoughts/feelings.

  49. I realized after reading Chapter 2, that I have been believing in the God of the Old Testament,that I am always waiting for judgement to be just around the corner, or I assume when something bad happens that it is God’s punishment. Now I see that God DOES NOT punish us as He did the Israelites. God’s love is unconditional, and thanks to Jesus, we are redeemed by His grace. Praise God!! I can try and fail and try again and God will always love me. I don’t need to be afraid to try!!


  1. […] New blog post on Melissa Taylor’s blog […]