Oct 23

A Confident Heart~Week 6

Happy Week 6 Bible Study Sistas!  When I saw the title of this upcoming chapter, admittedly I took a deep breath and thought, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”  In fact I know I’m not. I am struggling with THIS VERY THING TODAY!  Over the past few days, weeks, and even months, I have had the crummy opportunity to let a lot of people down. And not just once, but many times. Not on purpose or intentionally, but it’s happened.  It leaves one person feeling hurt and leaves me feeling inadequate and guilty.  It leaves me greatly doubting if I am good enough. My answer: I don’t think I am.  God’s answer:  Yes you are because I made you and you are mine.

When Doubt Whispers “I’m Not Good Enough” is the title of Chapter 6.  Are you ready to dive into the truths God has for us on this topic?  For me doubt SCREAMS “I’m not good enough”….lol.  As God would have it, my pastor at church spoke some words of affirmation I’d like to share with you. It’s for those of us who do struggle with this exact thing. He said that when you fail, have disappointed someone, messed up (again), no one notices what you do, or just feel like no matter what you do you come up way short, remember and believe this:

1. You are doing better than you think you are.

2. You matter more than you think you do.

3. It’s less about you than you think it is. It’s not about you, it’s about Jesus.

Now I don’t know about you, but I found this very encouraging. Often the reason we don’t get the validation we so desire is because “Jesus wants us to rest in Who He is and not in others and what they think about us. People will affirm you one day and take it away the next.”  ~Pastor Steven Furtick, Elevation Church.

Time to say good-bye to “I’m Not Good Enough.”

Phrase of the Week:

I Am Good Enough.


Memory Verse:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14

This week, when “I’m Not Good Enough” creeps in your mind, you say it loud….I AM GOOD ENOUGH! GOD MADE ME WONDERFUL.


Suggested Assignments:

Email questions for Melissa or the team to:  MelissaTaylorQuestions@gmail.com.

Visit Melissa’s blog daily and become a part of this awesome Bible Study community. During the week, there are messages, guests, thoughts, and discussions. This is where you have the chance to comment, pray for others, and interact if you wish. Or you can just read the message and scoot! It’s up to you :)

Monday– Read Chapter 6.

Monday– Conference Call #3. 8 pm EST.  It’s going to be another fabulous call!

Tuesday– Write this week’s memory verse in your journal, on note cards, and underline it in your Bible. Post note cards around where you can see this verse often. Go back and skim through Chapter 6 again, reflecting on highlighted sections and key points that stood out to you.

Wednesday and Thursday– Complete the Reflection and Discussion Questions on p. 133-134.

Friday– Check out the Vlog on Melissa’s blog.

Saturday– I’ll be enjoying a great weekend at the YMCA’s Women’s Wellness Weekend in the NC Mountains. Hope your weekend is filled with autumn fun as well!  (I’ll be missing my Gamecocks play…so y’all pull for them for me please. We gotta beat Tennessee this week!)

Have an awesome week ladies! Thank you so much for joining me in this study!  I <3 you!



  1. Melissa,

    I can totally relate to the “I’m Not Good Enough” thoughts! I am almost 53 years old, and I struggled with those thoughts for 90% of my life! I was told as a child that I would never amount to anything; that I was stupid; and more.

    Loved ones in my life that should have been there for me always, abandoned me time and time again. Each abandonment proved to me over and over again, that I wasn’t good enough! I always told myself that if I had been good enough, they would continue to abandon me over and over.

    I went from one dysfunctional relationship to another to another in my early years. All of those relationships ended, each time proving once again, that I wasn’t good enough.

    I gave my heart to Jesus in 1984; but I continued to struggle with the “not good enough” feeling for YEARS. I always felt that my prayers wouldn’t or couldn’t be answered because someone else was better than I was; God loved them more than He did me; and etc. Once again, convincing myself over and over again, that I just wasn’t good enough.

    I learned a little over a year ago that each time that ugly thought entered my mind, I HAD NO CHOICE but to take it CAPTIVE, and REFUSE to meditate on that thought! I had to CHOOSE to believe what GOD told me, that I was fearfully and wonderfully made; that I was HIS Child; that I was HIS Princess, and it didn’t matter what man did to me! HE LOVED ME LIKE NO HUMAN COULD EVER LOVE ME! His love was REAL. it was the only love that could be trusted! It was the only love that was unconditional; therefore, I WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM!!

    Once I got that through my head, (many months later), I don’t struggle with feeling “not good enough” like I did before. Oh yea, it still tries to sneak in there once in a while, but for the majority of the time, I KNOW that God is my Father, and it truly doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me! It only matters to me now, what GOD thinks of me. And if He tells me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made, and that He loved me enough to die for me, then who am I to ever question a love like that, or doubt whether I am good enough, or not!



    • Struggling with this tonight. Thks for your words. Good reminder.

    • Christi, did we have the same parents??? lol. I know that we all struggle with this. What surprised me once was listening to someone who was very beautiful, outgoing, accomplished, etc, etc, etc. talking about the very same feelings. I am really loving the tips that I am learning in this study, to replace the lies with the TRUTH. My husband a few weeks ago started talking like he was going to file for the big “d”. So I applied for a job in another town and got it. Then when I asked him about his plans and if I should take it he thought it was a good idea that we could just separate. I accepted the job and at the same time told him I would always be his wife until he ended it. And that I was not giving up on us. As I planned to move I really came to the realization I had NEVER trusted God with my relationships. I have learned to trust in so many ways but never there. I just didn’t see how HE could meet those physical needs of being held, etc.etc. So I went to Him in prayer and told Him that I gave this marriage over to Him, I would submit, even if it would be hard to whatever He wanted me to do. I asked Him to show me in times that I was digging in my heals and refusing & to remind me of this promise. It was so hard but I did find a place to move to and made arrangements and then my husband came to me and said he did not want to do this, we are going to try and work through a commuting relationship. I see God working in his heart (non-believer). He said that what really spoke to him was my way of talking with him, not yelling, just peaceful. He has been seeing me dig into my bible study and prayer time and I hope, he can see God! Please add us to your prayer list this week and as you think of us in the future as it will be at least a year maybe two of this commuting now. I am really trusting that God will use this time in me And in my husband.

      • gina thank you for sharing … I am praying that God will restore the relationship I know he can do it .. you are taking the right steps gina don’t give up my sister keep your eyes focused on him …1 peter 1- 5 you are a beautiful women and God will bless you and your husband..hugs geri

      • Oh Gina, I’ve been through the same thing. I”m praying for you, and curious to know how things are going? Proverbs 3:5-6

    • Thanks Christi, just what I needed :)

    • Jammie Tompkins says:

      Kristi, YOU are an amazing person and I can see OUR LORD already doing great works in you! Our Lord is so AWESOME and faithful and once again HE has encouraged me through you and others! Thank you for sharing.

    • I am struggling so right now. I am 55 and divorced after 38 years of marriage. My heart was so hard and I wouldn’t listen to God, my husband or anyone else about keeping the marriage going, I had it all. I ended the marriage and became invovled with someone else and am now trying to retreat from a toxic relationship over the past 10 months and it is getting me way down, my family is hurting because of my poor choices, and I just don’t feel like God can ever restore me and that I will never be good enough ever for anyone. Why do I have to know the good choices after the damage is done? Why do I have to be a 20/20 hindsight is always better person?

      • Dee, I have sure felt that way… that I was so dirty that I could never be good enough. I had a dream one night that I was in the bridal chamber putting on my makeup and getting ready to go into my “bridegroom” Jesus! I was so excited, but the longer I looked in the mirror the more dirt I began to see. I went to take a bath and instead of getting cleaner I just became more and more caked with dirt, the water became like mud and I couldn’t get “clean”. It became time for me to go in and I went to reach for the door knob and it was so golden, glowing and CLEAN! I couldn’t touch it with my dirty hands and I cried, oh how I cried for my Lord.. and he heard me.. and he lifted me out of the mirey clay… and He said to me, you cannot clean yourself, I am the only one, you can work and work and work but you will never be able to do it, but if you come to me, I can do it for you! And I went in and it was amazing, We danced and I was the most radiant beautiful person. So Dee, Just cry to him, he will restore your beauty, from these ashes of your life. Ezekial 36:26 says “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh”. Trust Him. Cling to Him. I have even gone to my ex and apologized and my kids. None of us is perfect, not one!

  2. CORRECTION: I always told myself that if I had been good enough, they would NOT continue to abandon me over and over.

    • The things we tell ourselves. I remember a counselor once telling me that I was my own worst enemy! How true that is. I am so grateful for all of your sharing. So many of us are saying the same things to ourselves. This really brings out the lies.

  3. I like the phrase of the week. If you were to ask me right now if I feel good enough, umm — not so much… It’s like every time I get something good, it is taken away or it hurts me. I can relate to everything Christi said.
    I don’t believe it’s possible anymore to show your real feelings and hurts to anyone. From what I can see you have to shore up your hurts best you can and walk forward only giving the hurts to Jesus… unless they are superficial hurts that people commonly talk about. I love the phrase “just be yourself” (not) I was being myself, that’s what got me in trouble!… To me what that really means is we want to see the joyful happy side of you not anything that is broken. I think when you act confident, other people thrive off that. It’s like you have to be “up” for people. I wish I could shut my feelings off.
    I sooo agree with Pastor Furtick’s statement about validation from others. It is like gambling with your emotions to try to find validation from others.

    I think one thing I struggle with is sometimes it seems “cold” to be so focused on Jesus that you are almost unfeeling. Maybe that is the goal to be in that place where you are strong and everyone else is flopping around, then maybe you can help them… I guess otherwise if you let things get to you, you are being “soulish” and letting your fleshly emotions run amuck…

    anyway, that’s where I’m at..

    • Holly,

      I have felt that way at times that we can’t show our real feelings and hurts to anyone. But, what I have come to learn is that we can show them to people who are safe. I don’t believe we have to be completely transparent with everyone. Each relationship is different. We love people but we put our trust in God. Psalm 62:8 tells us to pour out our hearts to God. That’s not to say that we can never open up to people, but I do believe we need to use discretion and find those people who are broken, humble, and filled with the love of God. God will lead you. God has told me to look to Him for my expectation- understanding, empathy, comfort, counsel, strength etc…(Psalm 62:5). I receive from Him and then give to others. Whatever I need He will provide Himself or he will work through someone for my sake. He can put it upon someone’s heart to give you what you need. He is the Source .Keep looking to Him and you will get your needs met in His time and in His way.

      God bless you, Holly.

      • Thanks Karen, I have indeed seen God meet my needs and that does help me to trust that when things look bad, He can still do good things for me.
        God bless you too!

    • Holly – I’ve just come in to these posts and can identify with so much of this ( that’s why I bought Renee’s book and and am undertaking the study!) But your post above – well, it’s pretty much, word for word, what I too could have written for myself. I so identify with all that you have said. I do think that people always respond better to positive people – it’s kind of natural. But if you feel so rubbish about yourself and lack that self-belief, it is really hard to disguise. I love what you say about shoring up the hurts as best as you can and giving them to Jesus . And I too was being myself but it got me into trouble.And it is so hard to cover up the broken bits – so much effort goes into covering up the brokenness and for myself, I feel that when it is revealed, people just want to run! I too wish I could shut my feelings off and stop being controlled by a lifelong habit of seeking validation from others. I found it interesting to read of you feeling almost “cold” regarding trying to focus on Jesus and almost becoming “unfeeling”. I also identify with that as well. I am not even sure if I have Him at all (and I would appreciate any prayer on that front) I am so glad to be able to tap into a resource like this and read of other people’s experiences. You’ve no idea how encouraging it is to know you’re not alone and to read something from someone else that rings so very true to your own feelings. I guess none of us are alone and perhaps we should take great heart from the very fact that we’re on this site and have been pointed in the direction of this study in the first place. Your post has certainly been a blessing in that respect and thank you for sharing :)

  4. Anne Maxon says:

    Struggled with this most of my life….seem to need constant reminders that–that God made me & He knows…This is a needed chapter! My prayers to you too. & for all that are out there. This ‘Not Good Enough’ sure likes to creep…
    to rely on His answer–& remember who we are & whose we are. thank you

  5. Hooray for Chapter 6 and Psalm 139 — this Psalm has been one that for over a decade has given me immense hope and comfort, and I’m so glad it’s our precious memory verse this week! If you have time to read the whole Psalm, it’s beautiful.

    As I read Chapter 6 this morning in my kitchen in the dark, it was a serious struggle just to stay focused. Inbetween nearly every paragraph of the reading I had to stop and pray and turn my mind back into the reading. I had to keep stopping the random negative thoughts going through my mind. I had to finally put the book in my lap and just pray to Jesus to be the hedge of protection around my thoughts so I could move forward. And He was. And I finished.

    Why am I sharing this with you? Because I was seriously under attack this morning. My thought-life was being infiltrated by doubt and the whispers of evil. I bet you can relate. I bet this happens to you, too. And you know what? What I was reading and learning was SO powerful and transforming that I can see now why evil really didn’t want me to finish! I am not the woman I was at the end of Chapter 5 — I am now better equipped to serve God and that means evil’s lost a little more footing in my realm. I’m good with that!

    So if I’m having this much warfare just READING this book, how much more had Renee to endure trying to get it WRITTEN? LOL! Once again, I lift up praises to God for the work He’s done through this book and her life!

    • Breinny,
      I can really relate to your last paragraph. I have days, even weeks, where I can feel the enemy working over time on me. I have to check myself and make sure I’m sticking close to Jesus (that I haven’t gotten too busy or lazy). I’m convinced the devil works harder when we’re growing closer to God, or when he thinks he can foil God’s plans by bringing us down, whether it’s in our thoughts, emotions, or actions.

      As I was writing this, I pictured the enemy getting stopped in his tracks by each of us in this study! It was a good feeling. (Smiles)

      Stay strong friends!
      In Christ,

      • That is so true how when I try to get closer to God I feel attacked and like everything is falling apart. Then I read all of this and it really helps remind me to not let all those things get me down.

  6. Michele Caséca says:

    “Over the past weeks, and even months, I have had the crummy opportunity to let a lot of people down. And not just once, but many times. Not on purpose or intentionally, but it’s happened. It leaves one person feeling hurt and leaves me feeling inadequate and guilty. It leaves me greatly doubting if I am good enough. My answer: I don’t think I am good enough.”

    Dear sweet Melissa, I couldn’t relate more to what you have writen. You know it.
    For weeks or even months I cried, thinking how evil and dishonest I could be, and how easily I could hurt others… how easily I could hurt people that I LOVED. I actually started thinking Christ couldn’t have died for someone so bad and evil like me.
    Until the day His redeemer love reached me, and convinced me I was His, no matter what the enemy was telling me.
    When our lives are so messed up, when we are so involed in our sinful behavior, the hardest thing to do is to fix things up. It requires courage, faith in Jesus and acceptance of God’s grace, that is enough!
    What our sweet Lord has taught me, is that we need to extend our mercy and grace to others, just as He did it to us.
    We are ALL sinners. No one is better or worse than the other. We all sin, against God, and against each other.
    CH Spurgeon once wrote: “human will is so desperately set on mischief, so depraved, and so inclined to everything that is evil, and so disinclined to everything that is good, that without the powerful, supernatural, irresistible influence of the Holy Spirit, no human will ever be constrained towards Christ.”

    Melissa, you are beautiful and admirable. And we love you, no matter your circumstances.
    You make Jesus smile!


  7. Cynthia D. says:

    Melissa, Thanks for putting all this up. As I was reading everything, I was thinking the same thing about myself. You, Melissa, are not failing anyone. You are doing the best you can everyday and doing an awesome thing for the Lord! Don’t ever give up. You are inspiring!

  8. I mess up a lot too, but looking at the bigger picture, progress is being made. Growth can be painful and progress can be slow, but God reminds me that He can use those mess ups for His glory as he transforms me.

  9. Donna Bostick says:

    Confidence Booster: I led a group of women in January of this year through Lysa’s “Made to Crave” study and what I began asking the girls in our study to read Psalm 139 every day for 31 days. I ask them to think on the truths and if possible to memorize those truths in God’s Word. I have also asked my “A Confident Heart” group that I’m leading know to do the same thing. The first time I practice this during another study it boosted my confidence in God and in myself so much. We can’t replace the lies that Satan tells us with the TRUTH if we don’t read and know the Truth.

    Thanks Melissa for allowing God to work through you to touch my heart and teach me much! Thanks for being one of God’s difference makers!


  10. I too have had a lifetime of others telling me I wasn’t not good enough. I listened to the wrong voices and it became a part of my thought process and a recognition as to who I was…not good enough. I went from relationship to relationship looking for someone that truly loved me and thought that I WAS good enough. I became such a people (man) pleaser that I lost myself in the process. I lost my self-worth, my dreams, my confidence, and my life. I was a disposable nothing without a voice and was used and abused. BUT GOD gave me my voice back…HIS voice, HIS dreams and HIS will have reigned victorious in my life, and I stand on His promises!! His promise to restore me and all the years I lost being lost! ~ Joel 2:25 “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.” ~ He tells me I AM good enough, and I know He IS enough for me!
    Melissa, I thank you for this study and all that you do. I thank Renee Swope for this amazing book (of my life!) and the healing that I have received and will continue to receive from it. I am also thankful to each and every one of the ladies in our prayer groups that come together and pray for me, and I’m honored to be able pray for them as well.
    Love you ladies!!
    Deanna Clardy

  11. I had a major breakdown last night and still struggling today at work. I have grown up feeling I am not good enough…but it goes deeper than that. I’ve always felt invisible to most people and never able to break down those walls. Now that I am becoming more transparent..I do feel a little better but my situation has not changed. I feel very alone with no close family or friends. I know it takes time for close friendships to happen but in the meantime I am deeply suffering.

    • Doreen.

      I will pray for you. God feels your pain. Even if your hurt touches no sympathetic chord with any other person, God cares for you. And we ladies of the study, care for you too. Keep looking up!


    • Doreen,
      I understand what you are feeling. Sometimes it helps just to know someone does. Because my heart ached so bad & my desire so great for someone to love me, to understand me, to see me, I found myself looking in the wrong places for that validation. I was always let down…even by the people who are supposed to love you. When Jesus whispered ‘lets deal with this’ it wasn’t easy. My focus wanted to remain on my pain & how I thought it would/should be relieved. He wanted me to just have eyes for Him….to learn of Him, to develop an intimacy that I’d never had. It must be that way. If not, the enemy will destroy you. He will lead you astray by giving you what you have desired & then snatching it away from you. Convincing you of your insignificance. Be aware, run to Jesus, talk to Him about everything! He will reassure you & captivate you for you, Doreen, have already captivated Him & His eyes are upon you! Do you feel them? Search for them. He’s watching & waiting for your eyes to rest upon Him. You are beautiful, fun, & witty. How do I know? I know the One who created you! Hang in there Doreen, the Best is at your door. Praying for you my sister. ~ Gay

    • I undersand because I used to be where you are now. That is when I found the love of my life… Jesus. It’s true! You are not alone.

    • Doreen, sometimes we don’t see the change because we are so close to it and it may be just one tiny thing! Keep in mind the rudder of those great big ships and how tiny it is, one teeny tiny change makes a big move. You are not alone. God chose you, not the other way around! Just one step in front of the other. “I waited patiently for the Lord and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set myfeet upon a rock……He put a new song in my mouth….” ps 40. Praying that God, as we speak, picks you up. I pray that God makes your footsteps firm and teaches your heart to sing.

  12. Kimberly P says:

    Melissa, as I read your message for this week and all of the other posts ahead of mine, I kept saying: “Me too, me too.” This is my hot button of all hot buttons. I have called myself “The Queen of Failed Expectations.” I meant it, too.

    And it seems that it IS difficult to be real (as in flawed) in the present-tense. It seems better to to share our flaws after the Lord has healed them (past-tense). I’m going to resist this with all of my heart and be real right now. Jesus is my Saviour, and I need Him every second to be my Lord, especially this week as we learn to replace the message “Not Good Enough” with the truth of the Scriptures. I’m scared, but I’m trusting Him.

    In Jesus,
    Kimberly P

  13. This chapter is going to be a major eye opener for me because I was always told I was not good enough & now that I have 2 failed marriages I started to truly believe it but since joining this online bible study it has opened up my eyes to actually see that I AM good enough & have lots of love to give & I have put all my trust into Jesus that he will guide me through my hard times & there is a future for me & I am looking forward to that future.

    God Bless you Melissa for all of your hard work. Knowing I am not the only person with these feelings & thoughts about myself, gives me tons of hope for my future.

    Thank you Thank you & God’s Blessings to all.

    • Michelle W says:

      Good morning Debbie.

      You are good enough and our Father in Heaven surely thought so because He called you by name, sent His Son to die on your behalf, saved you and is still loving on you even as I speak. You Are Good Enough!


  14. Wow, perhaps this will be the turning point for me and the victory over “not good enough”, I so identify with so many here about abandonment, rug being pulled out etc. I am excited about the conference call tonite. It is hard sometimes to see myself for all the circumstances, just have to remember He knows where I am in them and will use it all for good whether I can see that or not. I have thrown away the dreams because of the life circumstances and disappointments over and over again. Just a few days ago a friend asked me about my dreams, I said they are dead. They continued to prod and said if money were not a problem what would you love to do, my answer touch people everyday with the love of Jesus through horses whether in competition like cutting or team sorting, or non-competition things like trail rides, cattle drives, countryside exploration, and most importantly the join-up that comes from trust and communication between our two species. I want to help hurting women, children and veterans/service people who suffer from PTSD and abandonment issues so they can see Jesus really does know where they are, but in an environment that is not within 4 walls or preachy – just real and with his love. OK I put the dream in writing, step 1…lol Hugs to all this has been a phenomenal journey

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m gonna pray for you sister! That’s amazing!

    • Michelle W says:

      Good morning TrishG,

      2 Then the LORD answered me and said,
      “Record the vision
      And inscribe it on tablets,
      That [b]the one who [c]reads it may run.
      3 “For the vision is yet for the appointed time;
      It [d]hastens toward the goal and it will not [e]fail.
      Though it tarries, wait for it;
      For it will certainly come, it will not delay. NASB

      2And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may [be able to] read [it easily and quickly] as he hastens by.

      3For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day. – Amp

      So your vision has been written for all the world to see, though it may tarry, wait for it, God’s promise is that it will surely come. Inspite of or despite your circumstance, God is Well Able to do above and beyond what you can ask or think. Circumstances do not matter. God made something (earth) out of nothing. He is more than able and capable to change your circumstances so that the dream that He has placed in your heart becomes a reality. Do not be discouraged my sister, God is on your side.

      Be Blessed.


  15. I wish I could sit across from you all and listen to everyone of you. I got laid off in March 2009. I had one temporary job from Oct 2010 to July 2011. I have interviewed my heart out. I am 59 years old and trying to do this bible study when I couldn’t feel any worse about myself. I am tired of interviewing, looking online and and everything else. When I read your words I can feel the warmth of love but as soon as I’m done…depression strikes again. Satan is on me like glue. I know that I must preserver and stay the course in difficulty. I love my church and every Sunday I get refreshed. I don’t want to leave. Your letters have been a blessing to me. I thank everyone of you and especially Melissa. I know I will get through this in God’s timing but…somedays it doesn’t feel like it.

    • Jan – I know how you feel. After obeying the Lord and moving 1500 miles from a secure job, all my needs met, and a broken marriage, I moved with what would fit in the back of mhy truck, losing my worldly possessions and once here losing the vehicle too, because I had no work. I spent almost a year with nothing, no temp job, no unemployment and having to live with and off of friends. i was bed ridden because of my health for the first three months. I did yard work to try to help make my way, course my friends as precious as they are hired me to do their yard work. My age, being mid 50’s had a lot to do with it. But mostly, it wasnt time, because I had been working so hard for so long my body was as broken beneath the surface as my heart and my spirit. My Father knew better than I that had I remained where everything looke together, it would have literally cost my life. A year ago He opened the door and sent me to a place to serve. For the past 6 months have been going through trials by fire in the physical and right now I am typing once again from the prone position in bed with my leg elevated and iced, this time, I believe it was because there was no other way I would have had the time to see your post and to encourage you that Father knows right where you are, He adores you, He will open the doors for you, your part right now princess is to rest and praise Him even when we don’t feel like it- I know it is not easy, though it sounds so. He has your very best interest in mind, you are wonderfully created and He has many things to touch others that He wants to accomplish through you. Sometimes our seasons of trial are our greatest triumph, it is when, in the fire, we choose to keep loving, keep standing and keep acknowledging that He has this covered and is not surprised by it. The call on your life is great and wonderful and I pray that blinders be lifted so that you can see you as He is showing me you – a wonderful exotic flower in His garden, created for a purpose He determined before you were born – Hugs and prayers for you Jan

      • Thank you Trish! I will read your response over and over. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it. God Bless You!

      • Michelle W says:

        Ms. TrishG,

        In the midst of your circumstances, you can still see the beauty in others. That my friend is a maturing in God that you would not have gotten in your safe comfortable world that you left. First the wilderness, then the promise land. Be encouraged.


  16. Tilease Jenkins says:

    I have been a week behind for the past few weeks. I am so happy to finally be caught up. I relate all too well with feeling that I’m not good enough. I’ve spent most of my life there. I’ve lived with rejection and fear and the constant thought that I was always letting God down. I had adopted the philosophy that doing nothing was far better than doing something and messing that up! I started this bible study and then I was introduced to a book called Inside Out which also talks about change from within. Then I went to church yesterday and the series we’re in is called Unbroken. My pastor talked out us being kings & queens, but not recognizing it because our belief system has taught us to live by our feelings.

    This bible study has been such an eye opening experience. I am getting filled and learning that I’m not the only one struggling. I thank you for this bible study. Week 4 was a tough one for me, then 5 came along, and 6 is opening me up even more.

    God shared with me this morning that He will leave some scars from our past just as a reminder that He is the one that brought us thru and nothing we did on our own. But He doesn’t leave it there for us to dwell on and focus on. It’s just there to keep us humble and to keep up focused on Him and His power. Everything we go through has a purpose in God.

  17. Olayinka Okunola says:

    I love this chapter…..so much, I read it this morning and I can’t stop smiling. So I have been putting myself down because of my one flaw! thinking that if only I have children, i will be fulfilled, I will be happy! But now I realise how wrong I was – there is nothing wrong with me as I am right now, I am choosen, I am treasured, I am saved, I am loved, I am sacred and I am HIS. I am not identified by my failure, my identity is in ps. 139 – I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

    Thank God for this study, God is so good for making me take part in this study. God bless you Melissa and Renee Swope.

    Best regards,

  18. Hi Ladies!

    Has anyone every struggled with feeling that their personality wasn’t good enough? I am a quiet, more thoughtful person, serious – but have a sense of humor. :-) Sometimes I think if I was more outgoing, more talkative I would be good enough. Can anyone relate? What has helped you to get over that feeling?


    • Hi Karen, I have felt the same way, but for me, I like Mat 23:14 about the Pharisees and their long prayers. I have observed people who rise to leadership positions because they are outspoken, meanwhile in their private life, they were a mess, or when you were with them, there was lots of idle talk going on.
      For me, I remind myself that it’s not about what men think, but what my Lord thinks. He knows my heart and the depth of my love for Him and others. He created each of us to be unique and special. I personally feel overwhelmed sometimes when around outspoken people. Sometimes I would like to just quietly sit with a friend and enjoy some peace.
      I find that if I join in studies and participate in outreaches, etc.. I meet people that I can identify with and as I meet people and get involved, I have more to talk about and feel like I fit in more. Especially if I find something I have a passion for. I also observe my pastor who is a quiet man (except when he preaches of course) but his presence and love is obvious to those around him.


    • Hi Karen
      Yes I do start to feel this way especially when things are going well. It seems like Satan will put a little seed of doubt in my mind. I start thinking that person is nice to you but I don’t think she really likes you. Wouldn’t she call you if she liked you?,etc. I know now I have to find my worth in Jesus. I can’t find it in others who are easily distracted. I try to be a good friend but not worry or let doubts about how the other person feels about me get me down. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God who loves you so much! As I have started to really understand this, my relationships have grown as well. I actually find myself listening more than talking than ever before. I am outgoing and talkative but when I really sit and listen is when I feel the best. Your personality is exactly as God made it. :)

      • Thank you, Nicki, for your encouraging words. I will hold on to the fact that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that I have the personality that God wanted me to have.

        God bless,

  19. Donise Knabe says:

    Hello ladies, I haven’t commented during this Bible study, except when I intoduced myself at the beginning. I’m not really sure how to say this, but I feel like my world is falling apart all around me. I know that Satan does not want me to feel confident in the Lord, but since this study began, things have really been crazy. I have 4 children, which 3 of them have been very sick. Two with strep throat and my 17 yr old son is having heart problems. My job, which I love and is fabulous, seems to be really trying me. And did I mention, that my husband seems to have been abducted by aliens and seems to have been replaced by someone from another planet! I am really struggling and thought maybe some of you are experiencing the same thing. Just wondering. If you aren’t, would you please pray for me and my family. Love you all and appreciat all of your prayers :)

    • Kimberly P says:

      Hi Donise,

      I’m praying for you and your family right now.

      In Jesus,
      Kimberly P

    • Michelle W says:

      Dear Donise,

      I can so relate to your issues. Not the family issues really, but for the past week or so, I’ve had a hard time commenting or even concentrating when I read these post. Before that I would come on and read and give advise as best I could and also pray for those asking for prayer. Well, I seem to have come to a standstill…until today. I finally finish reading Chapter 6 today and must say that even though my head (mind), is still a bit muddled, I got the gist that I am my Beloved’s and He is mine. I belong to Jesus, He’s my friend, He’s my Salvation, He loves me, He chose me and He knows every thought that I have even before it is spoken, there is no place that I can go from His Spirit. I just wanted to share something with you that I read this morning on my way to work:

      “We also have an enemy who is completely against us. He is jealous of God’s glory in us and threatened by the beauty that lies within the heart of a woman whose identity is secure. That is why he attacks our confidence. He knows if he can paralyze us with self-doubt and insecurity we will never live up to the full potential of who we are and what we have in Christ”. Page 112.

      We are at war for who we are In Christ. The enemy knows that we are finally getting to that place of wanting everything that God has for us, His plan for our lives and in order for that to be accomplished, we first need to know who we are and Whose we are. You must fight and keep on fighting, even when chaos is happening around you. I know because at work, it seems like I’m in a war zone. My focus is certainly not what it should be, but I’m still moving, (albeit, a little slower than usual), forward. Sorry about the long post, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. This study is important to all of us and there will be warfare.

      Be Blessed.


      • Michelle:

        Thank you for the reminder of this quote. I can’t wait to review Chapter 6 this evening. God bless and continue to allow God to use you. Your words have been really encouraging to me and to others.


        • Michelle W says:

          Karen, thank you for your kind words. I must give the credit to God because normally, I probably would not have remembered that quote, but I believe it was God’s gift to Donise, because as I started to respond to her, I knew there was something that I read this morning that she needed to be reminded of. God is good all the time and He loves us. So He gets all the glory for my memory, because I can do nothing by myself, but all things through Him, my strength.

          Thank you again and I really hope it helps Donise.

          Have a great day.


      • Donise Knabe says:

        Wow, you are so right. It gives me hope that I am not the only one who feels this way. Your post really touched my hurning heart and give me hope that I must be on the right track, or the emeny would not be pouncing on me. I am praying for you, Michelle, that you will have faith and be strong in your struggles. Thank you again for taking the time to read my post and then commenting.

        Count It All Joy,

        • Michelle W says:

          You are sooooo welcome Donise. I pray all is well with you today. Remember, we are all in this together and need each other. Have a great weekend.

          Be Blessed.


      • We also have an enemy who is completely against us. He is jealous of God’s glory in us and threatened by the beauty that lies within the heart of a woman whose identity is secure. That is why he attacks our confidence. He knows if he can paralyze us with self-doubt and insecurity we will never live up to the full potential of who we are and what we have in Christ”. Page 112.

        Wow – how true. In the past three years, the enemy has robbed me of all confidence of being in Christ and confidence in myself and he has also taken peace of mind and destroyed a very important relationship. It seems that each time I try to draw close to God, the enemy pounces and it gets so wearying. Only two weeks ago, I attended a service based on Blind Bartimaeus crying out to God and we were urged to keep bringing everything to God, to keep crying out our needs and to pray over anything that the enemy had seized from us and for anything that the enemy used to bind us to be broken in the name of Christ. I went home so encouraged and did just that only to have one of the most challenging and difficult weeks this year!! Should I have been surprised? Maybe not! Don’t give up and keep firing the arrows back. I know what it is like to struggle with insecuirty and a lack of self-belief. That’s why it’s so good to share here and Renee’s book and study are marvellous :)

  20. Kelly Love says:

    I am with you on everything….except…GO VOLS!!! LOL

    I am loving this study and am so blessed by it. Chapter 6 was so good; I can’t wait to re-read it and make note cards of the promises.

    Kelly from Tennessee

  21. Anonymous says:

    I was brought up being taught to never to share my problems with non-family members, and so, I was brought up to be comfortable living in ‘darkness’. Not knowing there were other ways of sharing and being in the ‘light,’ the habit of keeping privately to myself about things which might feed gossip pools for others to dip into became my way of life. You can see, if my family didn’t know how to solve my problems, then they didn’t get solved, and I stayed stuck in the ‘dark’. I’m learning that being independent is not the same as being private. God wants us to share our stories, depend on others and share life’s lessons learned. I am beginning to see the light in finding confidence in sharing my stories because I live in this new found ‘light’. I am grateful for a study which teaches me that I AM good enough, regardless of my past, because I believe in Jesus Christ and try every day to live in His light. And I see that I need to habitually get into God’s Word and get God’s Word into my life so that as I rely on His life in me, He can shape the way I THINK, which changes the way I FEEL, and positively transforms the way I LIVE! How cool is that?!

  22. I am loving this chapter!!! Not sure if it’s the reassurance that I am not the only that has doubt screaming at me, or the fabulous truths about our true value (I am sure it is a combination of both!) I feel like we are the “Confident Hearts” team and we have won the semi-final game – celebrating like crazy, but there is more to come 😉

  23. Heather P says:

    This week and last week, I have “devoured” each chapter. It seems those are my points where Satan likes to have a field day with me. The main principle I got out of this chapter was to use scripture to change your self-talk. It is kind of like what Lysa Terkeurst talked about in her book “Made to Crave,” that came out in January of this year!
    Love how God is trying to reach his people and draw them to him!!

  24. Chapter 6 got to the root of the issue for me – spent two hours writing it in my journal and condensed version I posted on my blog. But for me I realized it all comes down to REJECTION!!!!

  25. I am finding this entire study, and particularly Chapter 6, so powerful. Knowing that I have the resources, in the Word of God, to replace the lies that enter through my thoughts with the Truth of God’s promises to us, is such a wonderful truth. Many of these Scriptures are so familiar, yet I haven’t claimed them, used them to be about ME. Now I am inserting my own name in them, and getting the truth of them into me. It’s so great to have the reminders from you and in Renee’s book to memorize these Scriptures, to really get it inside of me.

    I also came up with a little quick reminder every morning when I get to work: I have to log in with a password, as I’m sure most people do, and we have to change our passwords frequently, so I am using Bible references (e.g., Col312) as a password and then saying the verse in my mind as I am starting my workday. It’s a great way to reinforce the memorization and get the Scripture inside me!

    • I like that idea Rochelle. I may do that the next time I have to change my password at work. Also, I agree with you that through this study I am getting the truths inside me. I know many of these Scriptures but I have never taken the time to really embrace the words and let them be about Me. I am feeding off of the words of Scripture in a way that I have never done before. Thanks for sharing.


  26. I am inspired this morning to write these verses out. The scripture is my favorite part of this chapter. I really believe it all boils down to getting into God’s Word and making it the center of my life. I want to let these words soak into my life. So many times I have just breezed over the Bible texts and focused on the “stories” in the books I read. Renee’s book has so much of BOTH! When I sit down to read, study, and write, I don’t want to stop. You might say, I realized, I am “Made to Crave.” :) Have a good and godly day, everyone!

  27. Thank you so much for this study. These verses and thoughts are just what God knew I would need this week. I am the accompanist for a high school musical that is being performed this weekend. Yesterday some things happened that made me feel very inadequate. I was thankful I had the necessary verses in mind to do battle with my negative thoughts. This battle did not end quickly. The emotions that were affecting me did not go away easily. I continued with reviewing several verses and reading some devotionals I had into last night. It was not until this morning when I woke up that I felt the refreshment of God’s spirit in me. I know His Spirit will give me what I need to do a good performance and bring glory to His work in me. The main verse that I will be holding on to throughout the weekend is Psalm 138:8 – “The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me; Your love, O LORD, endures forever – do not abandon the works of Your hands.”

    Thanks again! God bless you as you continue to minister through His Word.

  28. Melissa,

    God works in such amazing ways. I sent you an email yesterday that was LONG. You said that Renee’s conference call coming up was titled “I’ve Blown It”. I told you that I had done just that. All the confidence that I had built up and all of the doubt I had washed away had come back.

    Well, what did God do? I referenced Renee’s book in my email to you where she talks about the emeny who loves to cast the shadow of self-doubt over us. Guess what was in my inbox, the Proverbs 31 devotional which just happened to be that very piece from her book. Then, God showed me again he was working for me when He revealed something about His promise to me again. AND, He was not finished there. I wanted to read ahead yesterday, in the morning devotional book I read, but something stopped me….the Holy Spirit, I felt I needed to wait. When I read it today it referenced Mark 11:23-24….”I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea,’ AND DOES NOT DOUBT IN HIS HEART BUT BELIEVES THAT WHAT HE SAYS WILL HAPPEN, IT WILL BE DONE FOR HIM. Therefore I tell you whatever you ask for in prayer, BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED IT, AND IT WILL BE YOURS.

    I have also scoulded myself all day today. Why would we doubt the promises God makes to us. God, the creator of the universe. Look at everything He has done for us and I am doubting about a small, easy promise He has made for me! He sent His son to die on the cross to give us grace and I doubt Him. We are too caught up in our world and we all have a timeline. PATIENCE!

    Shari’s Princess book has a letter that says, “the only thing standing in the way of my great plan for you is you”. We need to believe God and His promises and know He has a great plan for us. If we will just surrender EVERYTHING to Him, He will take care of us. Why is is so hard for us to completely make that final leap of faith? That is exactly where I am right now. I tell God I want Him to lead my life, I will follow Him. I want His plan……but I don’t take that leap!

    I believe God and His promises and I know He has a wonderful plan for me. Everything I have just written above, I believe with all of my heart and yet, at some point, I feel doubt will try to creep back in. That is the enemy and we must pray for God to help us keep him away.

  29. Cindy,

    I need to take that leap too! It is so hard at times to let go of our control and let His Will be done. I, too, know that is what I need to do, but can’t seem to let him take the wheel of my life.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts today!

  30. I hope I am not too late for some of you to read this. I stumbled upon this from Bonnie D. Harr, called When God Says Enough.
    It’s so pertinent to our chapter this week. Enjoy!
    “You say you aren’t good enough…
    you haven’t learned enough…
    don’t have enough of this or that.
    I say you are more than enough; I am paying attention!
    I see you in your fullness, emptied out, yearning and seeking after me.

    Rest in me, my precious one. Lie your head back and observe the stars I’ve set
    in the sky of your mind and heart.
    Abide in me there, for when you do, you are enough.
    You reflect me, and the reflection is enough.
    I want to dance with you forever…
    to sing with you the song I placed in your soul the day you were born.

    I am with you always. Do you not know? This is enough!”


  31. nancys1128 says:

    Yes, I am incredibly behind. But as this is where I am in the study I felt it was where I should post. I’ve just started week 6 by writing out the memory verse a few times. I, like many others I imagine, am familiar with Psalm 139:14. At least the first part of it. The second part is where I caught my breath — “your works are wonderful,I know that full well.” I was taken aback with the realization that I am one of His wonderful works. That means that I am wonderful! And I’d love to go on, but I just got a call that the power went out at church, so I must go pick up my dauughteer from Awana. Yes, I’m a bad person – I drop my child at church and don’t stay. Instead I cross tthe street to the library to do my studying.