Oct 31

A Confident Heart~Week 7

I hear you. Loud and clear. You are reading A Confident Heart by Renee Swope, but for some reason you are feeling every raw emotion except confidence. Am I right? Well, maybe not for you, but this girl is gonna be straight forward with you. I’m not feeling confident. That probably doesn’t make you feel so great since I’m supposed to be your mighty, strong, fearless leader right?

Here’s the truth. On our quest for confidence and to stop doubting ourselves, we are looking to God’s Word and His promises for our confidence. Our enemy is not happy about it. I’m not one to point my finger at the devil very often or claim spiritual attack as an excuse for my issues, but this time it is clear. Over 8000 women in this study, working for Proverbs 31 Ministries, giving my life away for Jesus…of course attack would come. It should be expected, but that doesn’t make it feel any better.

Rather than make this a “woe is me” post, I’m going to choose to believe God and His promises. I may not feel good every day, I may not feel God every day, but I know He’s there because I believe Him. I can look back and see His faithfulness and I know He’ll pull me through, He always does.

Last week we studied When Doubt Whispers “I’m Not Good Enough.” This week we move on to When Doubt Whispers “I’m Such a Failure.” (Doubt is a liar by the way!)

Phrase of the Week:

No Condemnation

Verses of the Week:

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

Jesus asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one sir, “ she said.  “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared.  “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:9-11)


Suggested Assignments:

All week long, check the comment section of my blog and join in the conversation. Also keep up on our Online Bible Studies Facebook page.

Monday- Read Chapter 7.

Tuesday- Review Chapter 7, making notes and highlights to remember. Look up the memory verses in your Bible and write them somewhere you can see them often.

Wednesday- Complete #1-4 of the Reflection and Discussion Questions.

Thursday- Complete #5-7 of the Reflection and Discussion Questions.

Friday-Review the week, especially the prayer on p. 133.

Have a great weekend!  Love to all!




  1. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I too have felt the raw emotions and still lack the confidence. Attacks have come my way too as I am sure they are hitting others in this study, but I have to remember what Joel Osteen said when I watched him yesterday. He encouraged believers to remember that God is in control and that He has divinely orchestrated our lives and He will use “everything” for our good! As I watched the Joel Osteen, I cried and realized how true it is that God uses everything for our good–even our mistakes. You are right about being able to look back and see His faithfulness–we are going to look back at this time and see that faithfulness once again. Be blessed my dear sister, Lora :-)

  2. Melissa consider it an honor the devil is taunting you. It means you are reaching ladies to futher their relationship with their Savior. Making us more confident so that we are able to defeat the devil. The devil is not a happy camper. We will lift you up in our prayers. Praise God we have the ladies at Proverbs 31 to help us in our journey.

  3. Praying for you, Melissa!!

  4. Annie in Texas says:

    I want to thank Jesus from the bottom of my heart for

    If I didn’t come to this online bible study, I don’t know where I would be spiritually
    You have all set me on fire with the Holy Spirit! You all encourage me thru our ups and downs to keep going on.
    I praise God for you all coming into my life!

    Melissa remember, I got here thru a online friend who suggested this study to me. Someone I have never met but she knew what I needed!
    Blessings to all

  5. Laura Maynard says:

    Thank you for sharing Melissa. I am also struggling with my confidence. I started the bad habit of negatively talking to myself in my childhood which carried into my adulthood. Even now with getting a lot of great advice from Renee’s book and your Bible study, there are some days that I feel as if I am making progress and feeling great about myself then there are those days that I am back in the pit of feeling bad about myself. In the meantime, I am spending more time in God’s word (thanks for your advice–I’m loving it and taking it on) and I have started new positive habits like taking a lot of mini breaks throughout my day and spending it with Jesus and God. It’s a great feeling. May God bless you and everyone who is part of this Bible study.

    Laura in New Hampshire xoxoxoxo

  6. Last week was a rough week for me professionally. I commented to a friend/colleague that I was working through an online Bible study about confidence—and he replied, “Well, it seems like you are being tested. What great timing!” God helps us when we need it—and giving us the Bible study when the problems appear in our lives is no accident. At least we are equipped to handle it now!

  7. I started reading So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore (before I ever even knew about this study). Crazy how I ended up reading two books on the same topic. I think God is definitely speaking to me!!!

    Melissa & the Proverbs 31 girls. Yall do a great job. Hold fast and stand strong! God is for you so who can be against you? (Rom 8). He speaks through you every day, offering all of us hope and encouragement, so that we can give the same to you when you need it!

    I read this tonight & thought I’d share, “[She] will have no fear of bad news; [her] heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. [Her] heart is secure, [she] will have no fear; in the end [she] will look in riumph on her foes. Ps 112:7-8

    • Just last week I started a Bible Study based on a video series by Graham Cooke, “The Art of Thinking Brilliantly.” He likes the phrase, “a starting place.” So when Renee Swope used the exact same phrase this week, I KNEW God was up to something. He is so working on us, sisters!!!

      The scriptures you all share in these comments and the ones from our book help me get through each challenging day. Today’s verses were Ps 18:35 “You have given me your shield of victory. Your right hand supports me: your help has made me great,” and Is 46:4, “Even to your old age and gray hairs (I have a few of those now!), I am He. I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”

    • Anne Maxon says:

      interesting–I listened to Beth Moore’s tape shortly before this study.
      interesting how God works

  8. Yes, satan is really testing many of us. I have to keep reminding myself that the more times I can stop him by the GRACE OF GOD for me/us he will get tired of trying me. I know that means he will pick another area for me to grow through. Ladies we got a JESUS that loves us no matter what we do, how we feel, HE is REAL and this study so far just keeps me seeing HIS realness more and more. The friends that have been made, the growth that continues excites me. No it isn’t always easy and it never will be, but we have HIM and each other(8000+) of us in this study!!
    Thank you Melissa for all you are doing, it is greatly appreciated !

  9. Yes, satan is really testing many of us. I have to keep reminding myself that the more times I can stop him by the GRACE OF GOD for me/us he will get tired of trying me. I know that means he will pick another area for me to grow through. Ladies we got a JESUS that loves us no matter what we do, how we feel, HE is REAL and this study so far just keeps me seeing HIS realness more and more. The friends that have been made, the growth that continues excites me. No it isn’t always easy and it never will be, but we have HIM and each other(8000+) of us in this study!!
    Thank you Melissa for all you are doing, it is greatly appreciated!

    • Stacey,

      You are so right. God is REAL! He wants us all to know this more completely. This realization will make the difference between us living confidently or living doubtfully. May we all learn to rest in God’s unchanging reality.


  10. I have been struggling since I began this study. A part of me wants to forget it and give up, but I am still hanging in there. Melissa I will pray for you. Thanks for putting yourself on the front battle lines for us.

  11. Speaking for myself… I am one of “the least of these” who has been called to serve God in ways I never dreamed possible. But I am weak… sometimes I tell God he is just asking too much of me… and then he does something absolutely amazing through me… don’t give up Melissa. We don’t have to have it all together… we just have to have the heart… he will give us everything else we need to accomlish the task he sets before us.

    • Michelle W says:

      Thank you Lena for the reminder that it’s Him in us, the hope of glory.

      Be Blessed.


  12. I to am struggling and really feel like what Laura is talking about. Somedays I feel confident and some days I am just letting Satan take over and I am down in the dumps. I am trying more and more to read my notes and verses that I have put on my phone so I can get to them easier and it does pick me up some but other times they make me feel unsure and insecure and hopeless. I know God knows my heart – THE OTHER THING IS I WANT TO FEED MY PAIN – and I had done so well losing 32 pounds and it is creeping back and I am upset but still eating. I don’t want that at all!!!! I had made the decision not to give up on this bible study and I had made the decision some time ago to eat right and it seems I can’t do both things together. If 8000 people can pray together at one time to put Sata behind us, what a mighty sound that would make in heaven!

    • AMEN AMEN AMEN my sister!! he is certainly hitting each of us right where we are the weakest! Lets keep praying and keep taking baby steps, second by second until we get it!!

    • Hang in there Dee! Satan is trying to take over. I finally realized last week, he was the very reason I doubted and did not have a confident heart. I will not let him intervene anymore. I recognize that now, he is nothing but a liar. I have found that when I feel the devil creeping back in, I speak out loud to God and tell him that He is my God and I believe His promises and I love Him and have faith in Him and I AM NOT going to allow the devil ever again to fill my head with lies. I remind myself that God created the universe and if He can do all of that and He can give us the ultimate gift of all that He is capable of His promises that He gives us. God is awesome and He will help you through this.

  13. Dearest Melissa, thank you for all that you do for us. We really do appreciate you and we know it’s not an easy job to take on the responsibility of 8,000+
    women especially when you also have the responsibility of husband, family, job, children activities and everything else that we know not of. We thank God for the strength that He gives you to continue each and every day. We thank Him for the help that He has surrounded you with, the hands that are willing to help you. We thank Him that even though you are going through things and may not feel like going on or posting, yet you still do it. We thank Him for His Holy Spirit in you and the wisdom He is producing in you. We love you and thank you.

    Be Blessed.


  14. Olayinka Okunola says:

    Hi bible study sisters,

    Today is my third year wedding anniversary! I need your prayers (yes I am not afraid to ask), please commit my home into the Lord’s hands, I need God to answer our prayers and grant us our hearts’ desires.

    Thank you and God bless you!

    Best regards,

    • congrats on the anniversay, and I am praying that you are able to commit your home to the Lord and that HE answers your prayers in HIS timing and His way. I have prayed this for myself as well and have found out that sometimes my desire is a little off and HE does not answer the way I think HE should. Praying for a peace for you and yours!

    • Michelle W says:

      Happy Anniversary and may God continue to bless you and your family.

      Be Blessed.


    • Anne Maxon says:

      Happy Anniversary!

  15. Lana LaBarge says:

    God is so good. Thank all of you wonderful women who have shared your hearts. you have said everthing that i have been going through also, i dont have to do everthing i put that demand on myself, but now i have jesus to help me through to make healthy boundries just as Jesus did.
    taking those little moments with Jesus when im so oeverwhelmed is been my saving GRACE!!!!!!!!! Thank you Lord for Your Loving care for me and all of us !!!!!!!!
    God Bless

  16. EILEEN PLANT says:

    WOW!!! I so needed this. For quite sometime now…not realizing..but yes i’ve been doubting myself as a wife..mom :(.Sadly things at home are not good…i keep asking my husband how i can improve..i try talking with one of my sons {so much tension between us :(}. it all hurts!! Everyday i am *Thanking GOD for all his blessings…i see them & i feel them…however, with all our problems at home..my husband FEELS NOTHING BUT NEGATIVE :(. Doubt has truly attacked us/me..I need to get back to my FAITH/TRUST ;0…HOLD ON TIGHT!!! PLEASE PLEASE!!!! PRAY FOR US/MY FAMILY WE NEED YOU!!! I THANK YOU LORD FOR ALL THESE BLESSINGS..FOR ALL OF YOU LADIES IN OUR BIBLE STUDY!!!! GOD BLESS YOU!!! XXXXXX♥

  17. Michele Caséca says:

    Dear Melissa,

    Chapter 7 is AMAZING. It’s certainly touching my heart in ways I’ve needed for a very long time!
    I”m praying for your media fasting week. I’m sure our Lord will speak to your heart, and bring the comfort and confidence you need.

    Love you,

  18. Thank you for all you do, being transparent! Amazing how far you’ve come with everything being thrown at you. Reminds me God is in control, no matter what! God Bless you and your family and Proverbs 31 ministries!

  19. Janie Riley says:

    Hi To all my sisters,
    I been in the same situation,struggling with my emotions and felt attack with torturing thoughts. I put on my amour, wall of protection, I plead the blood and recite and confess scriptures. I cast those thoughts. But sometimes it feels like i am alone, even when God said he will not leave me. I been trying to weened off some sleeping pills( which I needed when my X-husband abandon me.0 While during this, the attacks are so severe I pray to God to help and I get moments of relief by what God may suggest for me to do. My question is when you are weak and in so much pain by torturing thoughts that come from the withdraws and my weakness and your reality is not real. What do you do?
    I starting to feel better now but still have some lingering affects. I don’t want to be in that situation again. I was scared and alone.

    • Donise Knabe says:

      You are not alone. I know exactly how you feel. I know what it is like to be abandoned. I know what it is like to feel alone and scared. I know what it is like to depend on a little pill to make my anxieties go way and help me cope with reality ( I still have my little pill, but not needing them as often). You must have faith and remember the TRUTH, not the LIES that we tell ourselves. Since I have been in this online study, it seems like my world if falling apart. I know that it is Satan trying to get me to FREAK OUT! This chapter is really a good one for what we are going through. Pray for faith and strength. Post scriputure everywhere, so you can remember God’s promises to you. My kids think I’ve lost it, because I have post-its and index card taped everywhere.lol But to be honest, I think it is helping them too.

      I am praying for you and remember you are not alone,
      With Love,

      • Janie Riley says:

        Hi Donise,

        Thank you for your encouraging words. I feel because of the withdrawals I am having even more toxic thoughts. I also think my serotonin levels are low because the sleeping aid is also a anti-depressant depleting me of this neurotransmitter. I cry out to the lord and he helps me but at times I feel emotional pain that doesn’t go away quickly because of the medication. But I know he does give me relief but during it ,it’s unbearable. I feel satan takes these opportunities to torment me when I am weak.

    • Janie, you have to remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE! He is there even when we don’t really feel HE is. Keep taking the baby steps forward! pray, recite and cry out girl. You hang on tight to Him. Try and think of one little thing you know without a doubt was HIM, He has you right in the palm of His hand!

      • Janie Riley says:

        Hi Stacey,

        Thank you for you taking time to write to me and to give me much needed encouragement and tactics to apply.

  20. Janie, I empathize with your comments. I’m going through a situation now that has had me worried beyond belief. I read Ch 7 Sunday and was feeling great. Yesterday I felt alone and anguished, and in tears found myself begging God to take away the worry and heal me. CLING to the Lord who has promised to be our Rock. We must hold firm in our faith and pray for greater faith. Remember, “But when [she] asks, [she] must believe and not doubt, because [she] who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind” (James 1:6). Are we truly believing in the power of God when we ask? Jesus has paid it all for us already. Let us believe and find peace in our Creator and Savior who loves us more than anything. GOD LOVES YOU! I will be praying for the women in this Bible study. May the Lord grant us His eternal peace and grace and joy in His unfailing mercy and love.

    • Janie Riley says:

      Hi Marie,

      I will and have been holding on to God. I have faith it is in these trying times with my withdrawals on a sleeping pill. I haven’t been sleeping well anymore. so it was time to get off of it since it wasn’t helping anymore. But because of the withdrawals I have been getting these toxic thoughts interfering and making it unbearable to cope. It is in these time I think I being attack by satan and making it worse for me. Some of these medications are hard to come off of. I feel you and your situation and all the others that written. I just have to keep praying till I am off this medication.

  21. Christine from KY says:

    Who needs an enemy when you have yourself? I am my worst critic and always have been. I’ve struggled with negative and condemning voices most of my life. Years ago the Lord showed me how critical I am of myself. I worked on it for awhile and then gave up. God brought it up again a few years ago. I worked on it for awhile and then gave up again. And now here we are again, back at the same battle. Lord, help me to not give up the fight.

    • Michelle W says:

      Christine, I totally get you. I too and my worse critic. While others may see something of value, I tend to dwell on my negative, well I started this, but did not finish it; I meant to do that, but did this instead; on and on and on and on. It’s gotten that I dont even know how to accept a compliment when I do something that helps or edifies someelse. We dwell, we dwell, we dwell. But God. He loves us so much that He’s right there waiting for us where we last stopped. He knows us and He still calls us His own. Wow. That’s incredible that He would love us despite our issues. I pray that He will give you the finishing anointing. I too need it because I’m tired of going around this same mountain over and over and over again. May His strength surround you and His love consume you. Dont give up. I feel that way myself right now, I’m tired, but to give up and do what? What else is there? Well there are other things, but do we really want them? I pray that you will continue on my sister and not give up this fight. One step at a time. As Stephanie said on Friday, God is good enough for today.

      Be Blessed.


      • Christine from KY says:

        Thanks, Michelle!

        It’s really amazing how when we start a new lesson we end up being really put to the test.

        I just had a car accident yesterday. It was totally my fault. I was going too fast on an exit ramp for a rainy day, and spun out, hitting the guard rail twice, once in the front and once in the back. I was so mad at myself. My car is probably going to be totaled. I’m ok though. Nobody was hurt. But what made the whole mess worse was when I decided to try to move my car out of the way so people could get around me easier. I took the car out of park and didn’t have my foot on the brake, thinking that the car would move forward…but oh, no! It went backward and bumped a dent in the car behind me that was trying to get by.

        Now, I know the devil didn’t cause this accident. It was totally all me, but the enemy is sliding up beside me and whispering all these condemning thoughts. I’m trying to resist the temptation to kick myself and join in on the condemning.

        With all these trials that have piled up–health issues, family problems, financial issues, and now car issues…I’ve had this weird feeling of just wanting to laugh. Is that strange or what? I’m mean, really? We’re going to add this too? The worst of all the issues going on (the cysts on my overies, numbness in my foot and ankle, family problems, and now the car accident) have all happened with in three weeks. I already one health issue I was dealing with, the uclerative colitis.

        All I can say is: devil, I’m not giving in to despair. I’m not giving up. The Lord is my Shepherd. The Lord is my help and my refuge. So I will laugh in your face.

        • Michelle W says:

          And that dear Christine is what you need to do, Laugh. Laugh until it turns to tears and laugh some more. Laughter does the heart good. Laughter is good medicine, the Bible tells us that the Joy of the Lord is our Strength. I pray that He will pour out His joy upon you today Christine. I’m so sorry about the accident and you may have made a mistake and this is what happened, but try not to blame yourself. Dont join hands with the devil in condeming yourself, he accuses us enough as it is, we dont need to help him do it. Regarding the cysts, they can be removed. I’ve had a lot of reproductive issues and was told at one point by my Ob/GYN that if I was considering having children, the older I got the harder it would be because of the many surgeries that I have had in the past. Well, even before I was a “Christian”, meaning following God totally, I always knew in my heart and said it out of my mouth that when I’m ready to have children, God would give them to me. 2 kids later, I can gladly say that when I was ready to have children, God gave them to me. :)
          I’ll be praying for your health insurance issues. I know it’s not easy and my heart goes out to you. You seem to have so much on your plate, but I pray that God will continue to sustain you in this journey. Keep pressing forward, dont give up. Let us know the outcome of the car, hoping that your insurance can fix it and it’s not totalled and if it is totalled, I’m hoping that your insurance company can reimburse you for another car. Look at it from another perspective, it could have been worse, you were and are protected by God, so this may look devastating now, but we have no idea what He has protected you from. None. God is so good and I’m thanking Him right now that He has you in His arms. You take care and remember, laugh and then laugh some more.

          Be Blessed.


        • That’s good. Laugh the laugh of faith! :-)

          Karen C

  22. Wow! I just checked my e-mail because I have been waiting on word about a job interview after meeting with a recruiter last Friday and forwarding references yesterday. I want to know if I get to go to an interview with their client, my potential future employer. I have been out of work since February so I am feeling anything but confident right now. Anyway, I see we are on Week 7 already and I am just reading Chapter 3, partly because I had trouble getting the book using my “prepaid” credit card. Now there’s an oxymoron for you! Mostly, I am wondering what happened to the past 6 weeks and what have I done during that time. I haven’t been swimming, my home is not immaculate, there is laundry to be done, dishes to wash, etc. I’m not finished with the homemade Christmas cards I hope to sell at a craft show on November 12th. I’ve only got two items crossed off of my to do list, attend parent-teacher conferences and call about volunteering at church. If I am honest, I’d guess I’ve spent most of it on the 4 W’s: why, worry, wondering, and when. ‘Why’ God have I not been employed yet? I have experience, education and licenses. I don’t get it. I’m ‘worried’ God how I’m going to make ends meet. If not for my brother and daughter helping me out, I’d probaably be on the street by now. God, I’m ‘wondering’ what your plan is for my life. ‘When,’ God, are you going to come through for me? It’s been over 8 months now. I could even add more, ‘where’ do you want me to apply for work? ‘who’ do you want me to work for? ‘where’ do you want me to go? ‘wrestling’ with the enemy. It seems endless. Suddenly I see how time can get away from me and I’m not pleased with myself. The Spirit is willing but the body is weak. So I ‘weally’ need to get into this study so I can have a confident heart and a life filled with some other letters instead of ‘W’! Please, my Lord God, help me to persevere!

    • Lori, you made me laugh with your “weally”! I understand completely. I rewrote my master task list today and realized I have carried most of it all year and completed few. You hit the nail on the head with your 4 w’s. It helps just to hear that someone else understands. Keep persevering with the study!

  23. Anne Maxon says:

    So so thankful for this online study. It is amazing! Yet it is sure hard on the emotions. I’m sure Satan is attacking all of us. This past weekend, the ladies from the Bahamas–Anne Grant Ministries–about time for a miracle(s). I’m sure there were & are many.(I didn’t go this time–just felt I had to stay home!????) I’ve been to those retreats—oh my…but I feel God is doing a great miracle with all of us no matter what is going on with us. It is tough–you’re praising God & so so thankful :) then one second later, you are internally in tears, emotions crazy with everything :( So much we need these lessons–the WORD of God–remembering & listening to Our Lord’s Words. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Rom. 8:1 Love to you all. Our Lord is there for us!!!

  24. Christne and Michelle – I am also there with you in being my own worst enemy and dwelling on the negative rather than the positive. I think it’s a form of defence mechanism and it is so hard to undo! I have only really tried to come to God within the past three years and it has been a long battle ( with myself!) I know he requires total obedience, submission and faith and I have been taught some very hard lessons! I feel He is also making it clear that my negative thought patterns are responsible for a lot of destruction – it’s almost like a fear of allowing oneself to be happy or to accept good things. I lost a relationship with a Christian man as a result of all this and it pains me terribly. I still think of him every day and it was by far the best and most important relationship that ever came into my life and I truly believe it was a gift from God. It’s too late now as he has moved on and found someone else so a sense of failure and of having blown it is pretty big. So I hope He still calls us His own and can use everything for good despite all failings. It’s so good to share in this study ans as you say, even though you’re really tired, don’t give up! We’re all in this together and keep praying!

  25. I keep looking at all these comments each week and realizing, no one is exempt from getting hurt or rejected. It seems like it’s all about how we handle it.

    I suffer a lot from being hurt in friendships. I don’t know exactly why but I am sure overall it is fear of rejection. But I have just found out that I have been looking at myself in a negative manner and beating myself up when anything goes wrong. I told a friend I was sharing my hurt with — “it’s all my fault”. She said “oh Holly, it takes two to make a friendship.” So what I think is — although I may have done some things wrong, I can’t just dump all the blame on myself.

    Yes if I did something wrong, repent, but God is quick to forgive and I have to pick myself up and speak to myself as God is speaking to me. Also a teaching I heard said to walk away from ground zero,(that place of hurt) trusting and believing that God has something better. Maybe God even protected me from something that wouldn’t have been good for me.

    I think that if I always look at myself as “the problem” that will introduce fear in my friendships… always looking over my shoulder, “did I mess up?” wow, I just realized that, that’s no fun!

    There is such hurt and sadness that comes from loosing/offending someone that you feel really brings you happiness. It is a dark lonely place that I am trying to step out of and into the light and love of the Lord. Thankfully He lifts us up with His righteous right hand and His unchanging, unfailing, unconditional love is always upon us regardless of what we do or don’t do.

  26. “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9 NIV

    The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
    And He delights in his way.
    24 When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
    Because the LORD is the One [a]who holds his hand. Ps 37:23-24 NASB

    I am grateful for God’s word. Thank you everyone for sharing it has really touched me. I pray for you Melissa and as I scroll through and read, for each of the ladies here, and I thank you for your prayers for me! As I read this above in our chapter I kept dwelling on the word “when”. Not if, but WHEN I fall, I will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the one who is holding my hand! As I look backward, I see mistakes, failures, but as I look forward, I see hope!

  27. Michele H. says:

    I’ve been reading all the comments, and I am overwhelmed at the many women who are going through exactly what I am. I am praying God’s guiding hands be upon all of us as we work through this Bible study. I have been struggling so much over the last 3 weeks, I haven’t even done the questions from week 3 yet. I haven’t given up, but I am struggling. Please pray for me.

    • Michelle W says:

      Praying for you Michele. Just dont give up, keep going, regardless of being behind. I too have been behind on so many occasion and it is stressful, but just keep going, dont give up. Keep pressing forward. May God continue to guide you.

      Be Blessed.


  28. This chapter hit me right between the eyes…http://bit.ly/tx0uUO

  29. Janie, Take it a day at a time. Get involved where people need you: food pantry, babysit a neighbor’s kid, volunteer somewhere like a school. Stay busy so you don’t wallow in the negative. I lost my dad and husband w/in a week and 1/2 5 yrs. ago. After time I had to make changes. Now my youngest left for college so I’m on the verge of wallowing again. For me I just have to plan things to keep me busy. I’m praying for you.

  30. Angela Wolfe says:

    I have not added any comments probably since this study start. I do not always find time to go on line and check the blog. I am happy to say I just said basically the some things to my husband on how this study has been hard yet good for me and I know there is work going on in my heart. Now if I would just allow the work to get done and not fight it. But at times it is easier to no do the work. It is encouraging to know I am not alone in the way I am feeling…
    With that being said, I have been working on Chapter 7 and I must say, I do not understand this fail forward…thought I did then I lost it…What is anyone’s thought on this phrase?
    thanks and God Bless

    • Angela, I think the author is saying that when criticism comes, either from ourselves or others, we have a choice to make: we can get stuck in that place of feeling like a total failure, or we can give ourselves grace and try again, failing forward. For question 7, I listed several things that cause me personally to feel like a failure. It was very freeing to write them down, acknowledge them, and decide I wasn’t going to get stuck there next time. Of course, I will have to reach out to God and cling to Him when the time comes! Hope this helped somewhat. God bles.

    Good morning girls! If anyone is up early and checking out this blog. . . I have a prayer request. . . a friend of mine (Rachel) is having a baby this morning by scheduled C-section. She had a difficult delivery with her first child and has also had some complications during this pregnancy. Please pray for Rachel and this precious little girl she is about to bring into the world. Thank you and God Bless!

  32. Thank you for your prayers Heather! Yes, everything did go well. She gave birth to a healthy baby girl at 7:45 a.m. Both mommy and baby are doing well. They named her Morgan Noel and she is ADORABLE (then again, aren’t they all?!) Thanks again for your support in prayer. Blessings to you!!

  33. Thank you Melissa for being so honest… I needed to hear that because ever since Chapter 4, I’ve been being attacked too by the enemy and at first I sure did let it drag me down into the pit of despair. Then I realized what was going on. I’m not saying I’m “all better”, but I am saying at least I know what is happening and where this is coming from and I’m fighting against it and praying for help and strength. It’s not good to hear you are going through it too, but it’s reassuring to know that there are probably many more of us who are being attacked too and that together we know we’re still standing strong in Christ and God’s promises!!!

  34. I am with you all who are feeling attacked during this bible study. The good news is that I am dealing better with these situations now. God continues to be faithful and loving and gracious each moment of every day. The failure chapter (7) has been particularly difficult for me. Although I do not consider myself a total failure, I feel like a fail someone each day. . . I’m not sure this makes sense, but sometimes I would rather be a failure all by myself than to fail others. It’s not big failures that I’m talking about, but those daily little ones when we don’t meet up to the expectations placed on us (usually BY US). . . my house is a mess, my children are fighting, my son has no clean socks, my husband is upset with me, I slept in and don’t have time for devotions this morning. . . the list goes on and on, and I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. My struggle has been seeing myself as good enough for those around me when I fail them so often. Thank God, he has given me a family who loves me and forgives me when I am not perfect. This study is helping me to not be quite so hard on myself either, but I’m not quite there yet.
    Yesterday was one of those bigger moments of failing someone . . . I failed my daughter emotionally. I did not respond in the way she needed me to as her mom and it caused great tension for a while last night. Of course, I was very upset with myself and I’m sure it was apparent in my attitudes. . . and this only leads to failing somewhere else. Things were cleared up before the day ended, but I still woke up with this feeling of guilt. I am thankful that I had this post to come to this morning to reread what Melissa has to say as well as what you each have shared. It is so great to have christian support to remind me of God’s promises and to encourage me to move forward, even when I am in a moment of failure.

    • Michelle W says:

      Yes, Lori, we all fail at one thing or another. But I think that’s the point, we learn and we lean on the One Who is Able because if we were all perfect, there would be no need for us to depend, lean on, trust in or be confident in Him. That doesnt mean that we dont feel bad when we fail, i think that’s natural, but once again, we have to get up, dust ourselves off, and move forward. It’s a one day at a time journey. Remember, Jesus is enough for us today.

      Be Blessed.


  35. Lori Ryser says:

    I have been so blessed by this bible study. This week has been very difficult to get my morning study and prayer time in but I’ve been able to read most of chapter 7 and get on this blog during the week and read about it (during my breaks at work). We (ladies from my church) are having a woman’s conference which started last night (Thursday night, 11/3). A wonderful first meeting! Well I went home after an evening of being totally saturated in God’s love and growing in strength only to come into a household of contention and frustration by my husband & son. And of course my loving spiritualism went out the door. Well after everything calmed down I felt so much a failure because of the way I reacted. I was so angry that the devil stole what I had just received……well it’s amazing how our humanness (carnality) get sucked into the lies of the devil and we agree with that anger and the failure we just experienced. After a short cry and prayer I fell fast asleep only to have my eyes pop open at 3am this morning rehearsing what happened that evening. After I lay there praying and asking God “why” does this stuff happen, He brought back what I’ve been learning through Confident Heart bible study and what He showed me last night during out woman’s conference. That failure I experience last night in done and over with. We are to fail forward, not continue to live in that mind set as a failure. The fight is in the spirit. We must ask the Lord, specially during our times of joy and happiness, to give us the discernment to recognize when the enemy is setting us up for failure. We can cut that devil off at the pass!
    So this morning I went to the morning meeting of our woman’s conference and the Lord showed me this:
    We (lots of women) have believed the lie from the devil that we will never be better than the sin we’ve committed. Our ID when we accept Jesus is we are bought for a price and HE (Jesus) gives us the authority to trample on the enemy! God showed me a box on a shelf. The box had pretty flowers on it and He reached up and open it. Ladies ~ remember the little girl jewelry box when you were young that had a little ballerina pop up and twirl when it opened. Well God said that we are like the closed box when we agree with the devil about failures. We shut ourselves inside of the box and we can’t dance – Jesus wants to release us from being shut up in that box. It’s time ladies to allow God to open your box “once and for all” and dance, dance, and twirl.
    Hope this will bless someone as it has me. In Jesus Name!

  36. Lori Ryser says:

    BTW ~ this is a different Lori from the earlier posts by Lori. :)

  37. Thank you Stacy and Cindy G for your uplifting comments. I have had one good day of disciplined eating and exercise and listening to the #3 phone call with Mary Ann and Denise. I look forward to another day. One day, one hour, one second at a time. Exercised today and ladies that does help!! All those endorphins running around makes you feel better about yourself too!

  38. Melissa,
    Thank you for doing this Bible Study and allowing God to use you. When I read about this study, I didn’t want to do it, not because I didn’t want to but because so often I feel like my comments don’t matter or that I won’t have enough time. God wouldn’t let up though, and I finally gave in. I am so thankful that I did. My families lives are going through some upheavals right now. If I didn’t have the constant reminder that God was there and all the verses with so many promises to hold onto, I would not be getting through this as well as I am. It is still a struggle, but I know I am not alone and that God has a plan in all of this and it will be for my families good. I believe God put this study in my life “for such a time as this”. Thank you for being willing to be used by God even when it is hard.



  1. […] 7, When Doubt Whispers “I’m Such a Failure” in A Confident Heart is all about the condemnation the enemy speaks into our hearts when we fail God.  Let’s face it, for many of us it’s […]