As I sit down to write this morning I can’t help but be distracted by my daughter. Afraid, she slept on my floor last night. She brought ever blanket and pillow she owned into my bedroom and made her little nest right next to me. This morning, feeling better she moved it all back to her room. Not by carrying it though, she bear crawled across the wood floor sliding her blankets back to her room. All I could see from where I sat was a gigantic pile of fluffiness with little feet sticking out, moving down the hallway.
She finally made it to her room, and again I tried to focus on my writing. I just feel blank, empty, nothing to say. In fact I feel a lot like my daughter, shuffling my baggage from room to room in my mind looking for a comfortable place to lie down and rest. However, fear seems to follow and I can’t get comfortable anywhere.
Fear that I am not following God consistently. Fear that my apparent lack of insight this morning has to do with an apparent lack of anointing from a Savior who I feel at the moment is rejecting me. I know that is not true. I know God will never leave or abandon me, but that doesn’t always stop my mind from wandering. From looking and seeking Him for my own needs rather than resting in Him and asking Him what He needs from me.
So here it is my friends…me wordless…speechless…sightless…blind. How do we follow God consistently? It seems to revolve around a day to day and individual basis. Today, for me, it involves being in a place so vulnerable as to reach up my hand…even though I am blind as to what I am reaching for…and remind myself that I have nothing to offer. NOTHING to offer. That ANYTHING I have been given is a gift from God. That blindness is sometimes the only way we can be made to see. So I will follow God blind today. I don’t know what the next minutes, hours, or days hold…but I know that He is holding me. How do I follow God consistently? I choose to keep walking even when I am blind…