I hope everyone enjoyed the few extra days to catch up. This will alter the course of the rest of our study, but we just go with it around here! Nothing is set in stone.
Here are the changes for the rest of the study:
Week 3~Chapter 5
Week 4~Chapters 6 & 7
Week 5~Chapters 8 & 9
Week 6~ Chapters 10 & 11
Week 7~ Chapter 12
This week we will focus on Chapter 5, Family Matters. Some of you young mothers are thrilled to see this chapter come along. Others of you aren’t so thrilled because you think it doesn’t apply to you. Maybe your family is grown and out of the house. Maybe you don’t live with family. Maybe you don’t like your family. Or maybe you look back and wish could go back and have a do over. Wherever you are, I encourage you to read Chapter 5. There is truth in here for you! I realize the moms and grandmothers may get a little more out of this one, after all there is a focus on parenting, but it’s filled with God’s Word, which is for everyone, so please don’t skip it, even if you think it doesn’t apply to you. (How’s that for a run-on sentence!) Plus, truly this chapter is about obedience and trusting in God’ promises and that is for everyone!
Word of the Week:
Obedience
Memory Verse of the Week:
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:5-6
The Master Builder guarantees rest if we don’t vainly put our trust in our own efforts. Rather, we put full confidence in God’s workings on behalf of our family (and friends, I might add. ~MT). Our job is to walk in obedience to His will, seek his favor, and entrust our home to Him. Our trust is rewarded with the promise contained in our memory verse this week. ~ Micca Campbell, p. 90
Suggested Assignments: (Check each day, so you will know how to respond in my blog comment section.)
Tuesday & Wednesday~ Read Chapter 5, Family Matters. Highlight the parts you want to go back and reread or that really stood out to you.
Please share with the group:
What one sentence in Chapter 5 stood out to you the most? Why? (It’s going to be hard to pick just one, but that’s exactly what I want you to do and share in the comment section of my blog.)
For example, mine would be:
Before I knew it, his concerns and anxieties became mine. p. 91 This sentence hit me in the head like a ton of bricks! Why? Because I am so guilty of carrying the concerns and anxieties of those close to me…to the point of fault in my own character. Their problems can become mine and so instead of having just one person falling apart, now we have two! Not good! I’ve learned through plenty of experience, that it’s not my job to fix all problems, but it is my job to trust the One Who can. Especially in a family, someone has to hold it together. If the kids see their parents falling apart and not trusting God, then how will they ever trust Him? I am being disobedient when I rely on myself and not God. I’m being disobedient when I don’t trust Him.
Thursday & Friday~Bible Study: Know It—Stow It—Show It, p. 101-104
The questions for Chapter 5 are based on Genesis 15. By studying this passage of Scripture about the covenant between God and Abram, we can learn to be confident that God will keep His guarantee as we trust God to work in our lives.
Thursday~Are you driven by faith or fear? Are you still struggling with fear today? How can you move from fear to faith? Please share with the group in the comment section of my blog.
Friday~ Guest post by Online Bible Studies Team Member, Veronica Herzing. You will read why Veronica came close to skipping Chapter 5 and absolutely did not want to read it…but she’s glad now she did! You will not want to miss the amazing God story she has to share!
Ok, ladies, let’s move forward, strong in the Lord as we continue our quest for An Untroubled Heart! Let’s “commit our ways to Him” and just watch Him work!
I look forward to reading your thoughts so please share! (see suggested assignments)
Love you!
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I am behind in the study but actively facing fears! We just took a 2,400 mile road trip and I have a fear of storms. The only time it stormed was when I was driving!
I kept being reminded that God’s body guards were following my husband and I. After that storm it was sunny skies the whole way!!! Now I am facing a medical emergency (another fear) and on the way to the Dr. Please pray for me.
The chapter about the family is amazing. I read it out loud with my husband in the car. Because of two difficult daughter in laws it was so encouraging to both of us. How I wish I had read this book 39 years ago but God always gives us hope!
Ch 5 quote: “The Master Builder guarantees rest if we don’t vainly put our trust in our own efforts.”
As a custodial stepmother who deals with someone who in the past was completely opposed to co-parenting, this was a difficult but eye opening lesson learned the hard way. I am a very likable and lovable person and it really ate away at me that someone would dislike me period, but especially because I married their ex. I was always kind and respectful and more considerate than they ever thought to be to me. It got so bad that she poisoned the kids against me, which was compounded by the fact that she was not interested in parenting the kids and they were in my home and care 95% of the time. This was a very difficult and dark time for me and I tried bending and chsnging in everyway that everyone expected from the “evil stepmom” to make things better. Problem was, that didn’t work either. It only made me a bent over and broken rag doll. Finally, I felt I’d done all I could do and was weary from trying and I cried out to God while placing and leaving them all on the altar for God to do His Will. Things changed in ways I never imagined. I now get respect, cooperation, and some days even consideration. Its not Brady Bunch, but I gladly accept where we are. And I realize it was all of my trying to fix things that kept them broken. Talk about letting go and letting God.
“We realized that we couldn’t be afraid and exercise faith at the same time.”
Isn’t that the truth! I need to have this tattooed on my forehead because apparently I forget this! How can I say that I have faith when I allow my mind to get clouded with anxious thoughts preying on my worst fears? It’s a contradiction. When I hand my burdens/concerns over to the Lord, I need to LEAVE them with him. I need to stop being that impatient child and stop taking them back like that poem said that Melissa shared with us. I need to stop obsessing over those thoughts over and over again because I swear that each time I think about them they get worse and worse and it doesn’t allow me to live the joyful life that God wants me to live! I realize that these doubts, fears, anxieties, are many times personal attacks from Satan to try to challenge our faith…to fill our lives with his lies so that we curl up in fear. When that happens, I need to imagine the anxious thought on a piece of paper and put it in a box that I hand over to the Lord and LET IT GO! I’ve been told Let go and Let God for so many years…now it’s starting to all come together for me. As Joyce Meyer wrote on her facebook page today, “No devil can keep you from living a full life if you know who you are in Christ!”
I’ve also learned by reading Micca’s book and Renee Swope’s book a Confident Heart that when something is bothering us we should talk to God and hand the concern over to Him, not pray about it incessantly over and over with the thought He may forget that we mentioned it to Him. Again—-it’s about giving it all to Him to handle as He would according to His plan which is marvelous. I believe this is from Renee’s book (I keep a book filled with quotes that help me through my day and I don’t always write down who wrote the quote), “When doubt comes against me, saying I shouldn’t get my hopes up because I’ll only be disappointed, I will depend on the truth that God is FOR ME! he has plans for my life that are filled with purpose and hope” (Jer 29:11).
God bless you
“. . . fear caused me to mistrust and misjudge . . . .” This past year has been fraught with fear and worry and heartache. Did I remember to put it all before the Lord? Of course not. During my daughter-in-law’s surgery for brain cancer (she’s 26, and they have a now 2-year-old) last May, I was too terrified and too far in denial even to pray. When my husband had a wreck and couldn’t work for 8 months during 2011, I fretted and stressed and pondered getting a second job. When my dad was diagnosed with an inoperable fatal heart condition and when he died a few weeks ago, I pushed away the tears and soldiered on, bravely assuring everyone that “it’s for the best;” and “his quality of life had declined.” And when my husband’s company declared bankruptcy, voiding contracts and leaving us and thousands of workers in uncertain limbo, I panicked and upped my anti-anxiety meds. I need some major work in this area. Compound this with my codependency tendencies, and this is one study that I was meant to participate in. PS: My daughter-in-law is doing well. Not out of the woods, but things look much more hopeful than they did back then. I MUST learn to give stuff to God.
“We teach our children fear instead of faith when we try to live in our own strength instead of depending on God’s ability”.
Firstly, one of my biggest fears (both during my pregnancy and now) is that my son will inherit my anxiety and depression. I am still battling those fears- I want him to be victorious in Christ and live a glorious and joy-filled life. Reading this sentence reminds me that fear is more than genetics…it can be a learned behaviour. If my husband and I were to face our challenges and stressful times with calm and prayer, what a testimony that would be to our son who watches our every move (he is a sponge!). I am praying that we will learn to respond firstly with faith and NEVER with fear again.
The sentence, or question really, that struck me the most in this chapter was “What kind of home are you building?” It really made me think and analyze myself, our home environment, etc. I fear we have a lot of work to do to ensure we are consistently building our home with the Master Builder’s plan and foundation!
I have the kindle version of the book and have highlighted so many and posted some on my FB page. The chapters have been so impacting for me. I never realized how much fear was a part of my daily struggles and how strongly it had a hold on things in my life. So glad that they are finally rearing their ugly heads and are being taken captive by my Lord Jesus Christ to help me deal with each issue. I’ve always known that fear does not come from God but it can always disguise itself in ways we don’t even realize it’s actual fear when we are not staying rooted in God’s Word. Philippians 4:8-9 is going to be my new training method of my mind so I can take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ as His Word tells me in 2 Corinthians 10:5.
I want to comment on Veronica’s post. Oh how I would love a do-over in my family. In raising our kids, now 13 and 11, we, too, had screaming and yelling and just complete conflict. I wanted things to be better than they were for me, my ex-husband wanted everyone to think we were the perfect, happy family. While all along he focused on how things appeared to the rest of the world, I tried to focus on raising happy, confident, full of self-esteem kids. I did get to the point of “I can’t take it anymore” when they were 9 and 7. Since “I” was the one that wasn’t happy, and “I” couldn’t take it any more, “I” was the one that left. When I told him I couldn’t take it any more, he made me right then and there sit down and tell the kids I was leaving. I moved out, and for 6 months he basically kept the kids from me, fearing I would abduct them. What he didn’t realize was that what I wanted for my children was whatever was going to be best for THEM. I lived in the same very small town for 2 years as we separated and divorced. We had 50/50 custody which worked well. The kids spent 1 week at a time with each of us, changing on Friday evenings. After 2 years of this, and me trying to survive in a VERY small town that my ex was from and I wasn’t, it became very difficult for me to stay. I chose to move away to a town 4 hours away, and I chose not to put the kids through a custody battle. They were 11 and 9 at this point. As hard as it was for me to make this decision, I knew it was what was best for THEM, even though it was not what was best for me. I made every effort to get to their games, and school programs, and to bring them to my house as often as I could. After 6 months, I met a wonderful man whom I chose to marry, but he lived another 6 hours away, for a total of 10 hours. So now for the last 2 years I have lived 10 hours away from my children, who live with their father, in a VERY small town, where they have always lived, where they have always gone to school, with friends they have always had, and grandparents that live close by. This is in no way the way I had imagined raising my children. What mother lives 10 hours away from her kids, and sees them only every 2-3 months. I miss them terribly, I love them like crazy, and want more than anything for them to have a normal life. They are happy kids, they are intelligent, involved in everything, and just plain good kids. Would I go back to their father? NO. He unfortunately has not changed much over the last 4 years, and in fact, has probably gotten worse about worrying what other people think. He is a good father, and loves his kids. Do I wish things would have gone differently? YES. After I read chapter 5 the first time, all I could think was “why didn’t I fight harder for my kids”? “why didn’t I make him hear me”? “why did I give up and leave”? “what was I afraid of’”? Unfortunately at that point in my life, I had been emotionally beaten down to a pile of nothing. My self-esteem was non-existant, and I had been made to feel completely unnecessary in my own home. Since then I have re-established my relationship with God, and He has shown me His amazing peace in this matter. He reassures me that He knows EXACTLY how I feel about having “sacrificed” my kids, for what was best for them. Don’t think the enemy doesn’t have a fun time with my mind on this one, because he sure does. But my God constantly reminds me that I am exactly where He needs me to be, with exactly who He needs me to be with. My husband is an amazing man of God, that has crazy faith. I am learning, but some days it doesn’t come easy.
I looked back in the chapter at the parts I underlined and found two that were underlined dark and starred!
” How do we know when we’re depending on God’s strength and not our own? We know it when we can say in worrisome times, ‘This is not what I want, nor what i planned, but I trust You, Lord…’ We have to believe that He’s faithful in all things. If you don’t believe that He’s faithful, we’re not going to trust Him at all. Instead, we’ll fret over our circumstances.” pg. 92
“One step of trust leads to another until we find ourselves living carefree in His tender care.” pg.92
I always struggle with leaving my burdens with God and wonder how to do it. The first quote answered my question. If I’m leaving my burdens with God, I will be saying that I trust Him. The last part of the first quote reminded me of something I read earlier on one of the comment sections about someone CHOOSING to trust God. That really opened up my eyes. It made me see that I rely on how I’m feeling, which most times is pretty guilty, fearful, and doubtful. Instead of listening to those feelings, I am now trying to choose trust. Trust the truths I read in the Bible instead of letting the doubts creep in. So I’m choosing to believe God is faithful, just like He was with Abram. The second passage gave me hope and encouragement that if I just take one step of trust it will grow until I’m trusting God in everything. I also love the image of God’s tender care. I imagine Him giving me a great, big, warm hug!
“Trusting God to fill in the gaps, cover our flaws, and hold us together is the way to success.” (p.90)
The reason I chose this sentence and why it stuck out to me so much was because I have a hard time trusting God, that is my biggest problem. I always want to try to handle everything on my own, whether I try to or not. Usually I am just so used to the routine of having to take care of myself that I don’t think to rely on God. But I know that I need to get there, and I believe that I will, but I think that as with anything else, I just need to practice doing it, and not feel like I am failing or doing something wrong if I do forget every once in a while.
I do not have any children, nor am I married so I wasn’t able to relate to a lot of the sentences in the chapter to use for this assignment, but I was able to learn/be reminded of some very valuable information for when I do have a husband and a family of my own.
The sentence in Chapter 5 that stood out to me the most is “As Christians, we should be the last people to be afraid of anything.” p. 91 I know unbelievers often ridicule Christians when we have rough times, but we are human too and not perfect…the whole reason we need Jesus in the first place. But I am a very feelings-driven person and I know that when I rely on my feelings I fail every time, whereas when I look to Jesus, I am victorious and no fear can overcome me. It is very important to me to be a righ representative of Christ, and yet I feel I often fail in this. There’s a saying, “They will know us by our love.” And as we’ve learned, “Perfect love casts out fear.” So since we have and know the love of Christ, we shouldn’t fear anything, but I still do much of the time. I hope to change this as I rely less on myself and my feelings and moreon God and His strength in my weaknesses.
Chapter 5: “A firm foundation of faith is key, whether we are building a family or rebuilding a broken heart.” I am doing both. I have daughter who is 7 and a stepson who is 18 and graduating high school in June. I also have a broken heart. This study has come at the perfect time. I truly need that firm foundation of faith. I thought I had faith, but when everything in my life seemed to fall apart, well, my faith wasn’t very strong. I questioned and still question God why this happened, but I am now slowing see why things happen. God is using it to increase my faith, my true faith, not what I though I had. My prayer is for God to continue to build my foundation of faith.
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