Monday, September 10th, 2012

Tracey September 11, 2012 at 5:11 am

Wow, Melissa, I could have written the beginning of your blog. I struggle with that a lot.. actually more now than i have in a long time. I always wonder if i am not funny enough or interesting enough.. Strange, I was just having this conversation with a good friend and have just realized I was even allowing this to be a burden that was not from the Lord… LOL So your post was wonderfully confirming things that the Lord has been whispering to me… I love being an onlne leader .. i LOVE all the warm , loving women HE has put in my path!!
I am looking forward to this adventure with all of you 13,000 lovely women

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 9:36 am

Tracey,
Love you!!! And I’m so thankful for you!

Judi Splint September 11, 2012 at 5:12 am

Hi Melissa, and thanks for your words. They are so timely. But, I am still afraid. I have been so hurt by some women at Bible studies that I am reluctant to attend. And unfortunately when I try to do online studies, I feel so lonely. No one ever seems to respond to me; I just don’t seem to fit in anywhere. I am almost in tears here now. I don’t know what to do. I recently just feel like giving up.
I wish I could say more….like I will try again, but I am not sure I can.

Lynn September 11, 2012 at 5:25 am

Judi – I have felt the same way – so I want to make sure that you know – that I know what you’re feeling. I think the devil does the divide and conquer thing, he wants us to feel alone weak and vulnerable. So now you’re not alone you have at least one (me) with you in this study. Because I’ll need one with me too. Have a great day.

Judi Splint September 11, 2012 at 5:48 am

Thanks for your kind words Lynn. I had not yet joined the study, and wasn’t certain I would, but I just downloaded the book on my ereader. I will now join the study and I look forward to sharing.

Laina September 11, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Judi I have felt the same way you do. I used to tell my mom, I was born way to late, cause I like old things. Tiffany lamps, cars from the 60′s, things like that. I love hunting, fishing, Football. So growing up I was alone a lot. Plus dad was in the Navy, so we moved around. I was definitely a loner. Even as an adult I really dont have many friends. But thats ok, God made me this way. The reason Im responding is cause I wanted to share with you something God gave me. I had been praying God why am I so different. I was reading 1 peter 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people … I had read this verse before but this time the peculiar people struck me. When God spoke to my heart. I looked up the definition of peculiar in the Websters dictionary and this is what it says (I copies and pasted it , so you could read it just like I did)
Definition of PECULIAR
1: characteristic of only one person, group, or thing : distinctive
2: different from the usual or normal:
What God told me is Im the way am I cause Im peculiar. The world is or thinks ists normal. If thats normal then Ill take being peculiar any day. Sorry this is so long but wanted to share what Ive learned. You can email me anytime, Im also on facebook Kaye Screws.

Mary P September 11, 2012 at 5:47 am

Hi Judi,
I am replying to you because I have been in your shoes but you have taken the first step by reaching out. The difficulty with online studies is the shear size. It is hard to have a conversation with 13000 people! Just take it 1-2 at a time. My email is above and we are linked in this study so you are not alone.

Mary

Judi Splint September 11, 2012 at 5:49 am

Thanks Mary.

Judi Splint September 11, 2012 at 8:19 am

Hi again Mary,
I don’t see your email. The computer and I have issues.

Tracey September 11, 2012 at 6:06 am

Oh Judi! I hear your heart and truthfully i have felt the same way at times! (((hug))) Please know i am here for you ( I am an online bible study leader here) Please feel free to friend me and/or write.

The very first study i did here i had a hurting heart. The women in this ministry loved me while the Lord was healing me..
There is a song line that i love.. It goes.. * i would rather lose a hand of hearts i swear than to win a round of solitaire. SO true… I want the Lord to keep knocking down those walls that hurt can build. I want to be a vessel used by Him and therefore.. I keep giving HIM the hurts.. He is faithful and it is often during the healing and the hurts that we find Him magnified in our lives greater than we could ever imagine. I have found this to be a safe place. We welcome you with open arms and loving hearts!

Judi Splint September 11, 2012 at 8:17 am

Hi Tracey,
I don’t know how to friend you or to write to you; maybe you can help me out with that?
Thanks for the hug; it is so welcomed!
Your words really touched my heart and filled my tear ducts. I don’t know what is wrong with me….I am just so at the end of my rope with feeling lonely and so different from everyone else. I just can’t seem to have close friends. I know I tend to withdraw; I know the issues I have, but I do so much want to be accepted and loved. Don’t we all?
My email address is mjsplint3@bell.net if you have some time to keep in touch. I would love to hear from you or anyone else in this study who would like an online friend. Sort of a modern day pen pal.
I know it can be dangerous to put your email out there, but I am hoping to reap good from it. Thanks, Judi.

Pammy September 11, 2012 at 6:51 am

Oh Judi, as I rejoiced over Melissa’s words, your words touched every part of me, as I too, have felt rejected by others at a Bible study or meeting, and felt like drawing away from my church. I’ve felt the rejection and lonliness of not having anyone respond to me, and not fitting in…..some women can be so powerful in a small group that although may have meaningful words, they seem to put down other opinions or intimidate you into not responding or just silently withdrawing. I’ve often left feeling small, but on the way home, seem to feel hugged and comforted knowing, Jesus searched my heart for my response and loves me as is, and welcomes me into His study group.
I’m a bit nervous too, but Melissa’s words were timely, caring, healing and welcoming, so I too, will try again.

Tracey September 11, 2012 at 6:53 am

(((pammy)))) So glad to have you here and looking forward to fellowshipping with you!!

Judi Splint September 11, 2012 at 8:10 am

Thanks for your kind words Pammy. I guess there is an ease to the online studies that are not present at Bible studies that take place in others homes. It’s not what Christ desires; to see us separated from others like this. But if it is the only way, which it seems to be for many of us..it is the safe way, the peaceful route….then we do need to take it. After all, He is everywhere and nothing has been or ever will be created without Him. These online studies will be used by Him and certainly are blessed by Him.
Thanks again for responding; I am overwhelmed at how many have responded and been so kind.

Pammy September 11, 2012 at 8:29 am

Your friend in Christ!!!!!

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 9:42 am

Judi,
I understand exactly how you feel. I don’t want anyone to feel like that. Thank you for taking the risk and joining this study. Make sure you sign up officially in the top right of this page. (you may have already done that) And if you ever feel like no one sees you or responds, SPEAK UP! Really, I mean that. My team and I read these comments, but sometimes and often just can’t respond due to time. But you are seen and I’m so thankful you are joining us!

Judi Splint September 11, 2012 at 9:45 am

Thanks Melissa. I am looking forward to this study.

Vicki September 11, 2012 at 11:05 am

You are definitely not alone!!! I’ve recently gone through some things that left me very vunerable and now feeling a little betrayed. I am left wondering who I can trust and who I can’t. I deeply long to support others and and receive that support. I recently stepped out of my comfort zone and started a ladies christian book club and the turn out is looking good. But with my scars being fresh I am very insecure and worried. I actually signed up for this bible study because I don’t know anyone here(hopefully lol) so I’m hoping this will build up my confidence and allow me to shed my insecurities in my everyday life.I will be praying we both(and others struggling) find peace and comfort in all this and become stronger thru this study. I hope you have a wonderful day!!

Judi Splint September 11, 2012 at 11:36 am

Thanks for your prayers Vicki; I just said a prayer for you as well. I hope we both, along with others who struggle, will become more secure and better able to handle ourselves through this study. You have a good day as well.

Lisa September 11, 2012 at 11:44 am

I am stuggleing also as another obsticle in my life. My husband and I have been hurt really bad by people that we went to church with for 15 plus yrs.. This came about after our Pastor, Friend and by Boss (because I was the church secretary for 15 yr) was killed in a motorcycle accident March 6, 2010. So our Trust factory in “Christians” or so call is a BIG sheild. My husband just says they are just people too, But that does not take the hurt away. We are still healing.
Forgiveness First Step

Tracey September 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Lisa, the same thing has happened to my dhusband and our family. Entrenched in ministry for many years in a church.. We felt God calling us to another place (there were some off things going on, but we did not address those) Suddenly we were pariah… if we did not go there they were not our friends after years!! My kids do not trust Christians at all ( although they still love the Lord) Yes, it does not take th hurt away… I see though that there are things that would not have happened if we had not left. i never would have found PS31 ministries and become a small group leader. I would have been too busy with that church ministries. So MANY other things…. Dont get me wrong we are still learning, growing and healing! But the Lord is so much greater and yes we are all people … if I would like forgiveness , grace and mercy when i become Unglued.. I need to show it first.
HARD, my yes… but I need to believe HIM and stand on His promises.. he will make the crooked paths straight.. He does turn all things for good and His glory for those who walk in His ways….. i will say, too… I feel safe and loved here.. something i have not felt in a long time…
I will be praying dear sister please feel free to friend me and message me!! He is singing over you and your family!!!!

Lynn September 11, 2012 at 5:27 am

Melissa,
Well I’m sure you probably have the majority of the 1300 saying you read their diary – why because we all need Jesus. Thanks for your honesty – thanks for being real and letting us relax with you.

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 9:46 am

Absolutely! I wouldn’t want it any other way

Mary P September 11, 2012 at 5:51 am

Melissa, like all the other comments, I laughed out loud reading your message today. Even with online studies, I have struggled over email responses to make sure they are PERFECT often missing the point I was trying to make. My goal here will to just be myself and have the conversation. Thanks for the warm welcome.

Mary

Tracey September 11, 2012 at 6:00 am

LOL, Mary!! I start out sharing with my groups that I am not a grammar whiz when i am replying online. So please Grace,Grace,Grace! LOL I was intimidated at first by all the grammar police there seemed to be online. In here, i have never had one give me even a warning! i love being able to be me and be accepted for who i am in Christ.

Sharon September 11, 2012 at 6:01 am

I am a little apprehensive about an online Bible study because of my fear of getting lost in the crowd. I have never done one before, but I am willing to try it out. It is always good to study with other Christians-iron sharpening iron. You begin to realize you are not alone, you are not the only one who struggles.

Tracey September 11, 2012 at 6:07 am

Sharon, That is indeed true…. darkness cannot stand in the glow of the light and knowing we are not alone is so wonderful and important. I look forward to studying with you…

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 9:49 am

Sharon,
You are not alone. I think the #1 fear that I’ve read here is people are afraid they will be lost in the crowd. Here is my suggestion. Participate. The only way you will be lost here is if you don’t comment and participate. And some like to be quiet, I get that too. Thanks for doing this study.

gloria September 11, 2012 at 6:35 am

Good morning….this will be my first online bible study and actually my first bible study ever. I do not know what to expect and I am hopeful that I can stick with it cuz I work alot. I am a bit nervous and do not want to fail at this. I am also excited! So I am looking forward to the start
~gloria

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 9:50 am

Gloria,
YA-HOOOOOOOO! I’m so excited you have joined mostly because this is your first Bible study! I hope and pray you love it! You can stick with it, but you have to make it a priority. It’s up to you, but I know you can do it! Thank you so much for joining us!

Stephanie W September 11, 2012 at 6:48 am

I am so excited about the next bible study!! This will be my second. IUTBSO was awesome this summer!! At first I worried about typing the wrong response, I wanted to sound put together…but quickly learned it was okay to be real. That is exactly what I need and I absolutely love that I have a place to go!!

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 9:51 am

Stephanie,
That’s right, it is okay to be real. I wouldn’t want anyone here to feel any other way!

Gina September 11, 2012 at 8:12 am

I’m so excited about this bible study!! I’ve never done one online, that’s an incredible number of people and it just makes me think “WOW, all of us studying His word together & praying and ultimately sharing our online bible study experience with others….yeah God is moving!!”, what a glorious thing!” I pray we all have open hearts & minds to soak up all He would have us learn. Blessings to all! Gina

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 9:51 am

Amen! It is a glorious thing indeed!

Cathy September 11, 2012 at 8:14 am

This will be my first online Bible study. I actually attend, and lead a lot of the time, a Wednesday morning Bible Study at my church, but I felt convicted to join this study. I bought the book pre-sale so I have almost finished it, and know that I really need to read it over and over again. I am looking forward to the study, and making new friends online.

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 9:52 am

Thanks for joining us Cathy!

Jill September 11, 2012 at 8:36 am

I can’t wait to not only start the Unglued Bible study, but to do my first online Bible study as well! Just being able to connect with like-minded women all around the world is awesome. I have done many Bible studies over the years in small group settings, on my own, and even recently stepped out of my comfort zone and facilitated one myself at my church! Still, there are days I feel vulnerable and insecure about what others are thinking about me. With this online study, it’s o.k., because no one will see me or hear me and I can comment when the Lord leads me, not because I feel compelled to do so because the “rest of the group” are sharing. Thank you Melissa for making option available. I am looking forward to it.

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 10:02 am

That’s right Jill! “I can comment when the Lord leads me, not because I feel compelled to do so because the “rest of the group” are sharing.” I love that!

Tricia September 11, 2012 at 9:05 am

I’m both excited & nervous to begin the Unglued study. This is the 6th study I’ve done here so I know how it works & I love being a part of these on-line studies here. My life has changed so much in the last year & a half since I first started with the Hidden Joy study. Back then I was miserable & at best I had a head knowledge only of God & his word. I was still so very much lost. Through counseling, the studies over the last year & a half, the on-line community & friendships made along the way, things have really been changing in my life. While I still struggle at times, it’s not as all consuming when I do as it was before.

I like you Melissa have struggled with a fear of what others think of me for as long as I can remember. I was a very insecure child who always needed that reassurance of being loved & accepted as an important part of people’s lives. That need to be reassured grew greater after the things that I went through during my childhood years. What others thought of me grew to be an all consuming fear for me while I was growing up. A fear that I did not get any kind of handle on until just a few years ago. I was a lonely kid. A kid with very few friends because of this fear of what others would think. After the things that happened when I was a kid I isolated myself from most eveyone, all out of fear of what they would think if they knew the real me. What they would say was always on my mind. My best friend in the whole world during that time was my cat Misty. That cat loved me unconditionally, I was safe to be the real me around her, while everywhere else I kept the mask on to hide who I was (who I felt I was). Enough of that already.

These studies along with my counseling have really helped me reclaim myself, my worth, my value all in Christ. I now can say that I have more than just a head knowledge of God & as I’m reading, I’m growing & learn so much more everyday. And I love that! I like who I’m growing to be, the real me for the first time in my life. It’s great! Still tough roads at times but so very worth it. I’m a lot happier of a person now. And you know what about my cat Misty? She lived to be 20 years old. And as my best buddy growing up my grandfather made her a bridesmaids outfit when I got married. Of course the cat was not in the wedding at all, lol, but somewhere there is still a picture of her with that little outfit on. Precious memories as she’s since passed away & so has my grandfather who made that little bridesmaid outfit.

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 10:06 am

Tricia,
Your story/testimony still blows me away. I am so amazed by what God has done through these Bibles studies we’ve done together. It’s just crazy amazing. I love you and I’m so thankful for you, as my friend, as a small group facebook leader, and as my sister in Christ. You have taught me and many others a lot about facing our fears, taking risks, and trusting God even when it doesn’t feel good.

I can’t wait to see that pic of Misty! Aren’t our special pets just the best?

samantha September 11, 2012 at 9:12 am

This is my first time in a Bible study and I am feeling really good about this group. After reading all of the up lifting words from Lisa, I don’t feel like I’m alone in my on going battle of constantly becoming “unplugged”. Isn’t really looking forward to this and I pray that I take the time for myself to do it and follow along each day. I’m looking forward to finally being able to open up about my hurts and needs and hopefully get some help through them.
Thank u for doing this.

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 10:12 am

Samantha,
Welcome to the Online Bible Study! I look forward to getting to know you

Darlene September 11, 2012 at 9:22 am

Thank you for always being honest! I have a feeling all of us have felt this way. Thank you for all you hard work and commitment to the OBS time after time! I am excited to begin Unglued. Have a blessed day!!!!

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 10:13 am

Darlene,
You are such an encouragement to me! Thank you for your sweet words. And thanks for doing this study with us

Lynn September 11, 2012 at 9:42 am

This is my first on-line Bible study. I have purchased the book and am reading it now so my next reading with the group will open my eyes to even more promises from God. I feel like such a failure in the ways I come unglued and I need to understand that God is not disappointed in me. He is cheering me on b/c I am becoming more dependent on Him and His ways, not mine. Looking forward to getting to know more “unglued” friends.

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 10:11 am

Lynn,
I want to impress on you that you may have failed in an area, but that doesn’t make you a failure. God is cheering you on, you are His child, His beautiful daughter and He wants you to feel like it! So do I

Lisa September 11, 2012 at 9:48 am

To All Filling a little apprehensive (ok I am with Tracey my spelling not the greatest so forgiveness up front) My fillings also. I have alot of stuff going on in my life and I feel like a basket case. I have always been the one (the glue) that hold the family together. WELL I am finding myself coming UNGLUED, now more and more. Alot of stress with my children (by the way are 33, 28, 23) I am a fixer and always have been but I am going crazy now cause with the kids being adults now. I can NOT fix everyone and have trouble holding it altogether. So this has put a real strain on my marriage of 33 years. In fact my husband just agree to go and talk with someone as of last evening. And we just need to get back to the basic’s the pastor suggested us to look at Gary Chatmans book “”The Five Love Laungages”. We both have been hurt from the fact of me coming UNGLUED because I can not keep everyone Glued Together. So I am so happy that God has put this Bible Study in my path and am very very excited to begin. I am praying that I will make some great friend cause really we are all a like.
Thank You Lysa T, Melissa T and Lisa K

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 10:09 am

Lisa,
Thank you for sharing and I’m so thankful you are in this group! Notice you aren’t alone. Most of us struggle somewhere and sometime with coming unglued! That’s why the book is a best seller LOL!

Nancy September 11, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Lisa, I guarantee you will meet some fabulous women in your group and you will have incredible friers through it. They will encourage you and you are amazing always remember that you truly are amazing!

Lisa September 11, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Thank you Nancy

Barb September 11, 2012 at 9:54 am

Ladies,
Thank you for making this ‘newbie’ feel accepted. An online bible study is very new to me but I am looking forward to the fellowship. I can relate to the feelings of wanting to be accepted as Christ accepts me. I have especially struggled with this since my divorce. Being a divorced and over 40 empty nester it can seem overwhelming to find a ‘place’ within the church family that I belong. It is with great authenticity I join you all here to learn and grown in Him. I pray that this may be a community that I can bloom in

Blessings today!

Melissa Taylor September 11, 2012 at 10:07 am

Barb,
So glad you are here! You will always be accepted in this group

Angie September 11, 2012 at 10:35 am

This is my first online Bible study. I joined online so I wouldn’t have to put my mask on to attend with my “friends” but could sit quietly back and just read what everyone else had to say but I am for the first time pulling my mask off and stepping out. No more worrying about whether or not I am liked or accepted and will not just be an observer but a participant.

Stephanie Clayton September 11, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Angie…I have a feeling you will be so glad you did. This is such a beautiful, open, real and accepting community. Excited to see what God has in store for you.

Katie September 11, 2012 at 10:58 am

I used to be very uninhibited in making and keeping friends, Christian friends, until I was so deeply hurt that the experience actually became one of those few life-defining moments.

I have forgiven and don’t hold a grudge.I know that we will all hurt and be hurt. I have many acquaintances but have since, carefully shared myself with only a few, dear friends who also love the Lord. But I’m not the same and I don’t feel like that’s a good thing.

I am looking forward to this study.

Stephanie Clayton September 11, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Katie, I am so sorry about the experience you had. It sounds as if you feel as if the rug was pulled out from under you. Wow, I am in awe of the strength of the Lord in you though, that you are willing to step out again in faith. Praying for you as you stand firm on the mountain of His Word and allow yourself to be vulnerable again. There will always be those who hurt us, but when we follow the will and promptings of the Lord in our life we will not be dissapointed. You go girl, this is going to be an awesome study.

Jessica September 11, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Day in and day out we spend it being someone(s). It may be a mom, wife, teacher, director, supervisor, doctor, nurse, student, etc. We seem to always be playing a part in this world and in society that we tend to put on many hats and masks. I feel that I spend my days playing so many roles that I am starting to feel unglued to who I really am and also the woman God has made me to be. We get so wrapped up in duties and priorities that we forget what really comes first, our time with our daddy, Jesus. I hope that like humpty dumpty, Jesus and this bible study will help me put the pieces back together again.

I am looking forward to making new friends and growing with each one of you as I make this commitment to walk with you, my sisters in Christ, through this bible study.

Stephanie Clayton September 11, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Jessica, your comment is so beautiful and so filled with truth. It is so easy to get involved in doing so many things that we lose our one true identity as daughter of the King. Praying for you sweet sister as you study that you are able to reclaim and find refreshment in who you are in Christ. Beautful and whole by and in His grace.

Jessica September 11, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Stephanie,

Thank you for you kind and uplifting words. Prayer will indeed keep us all glued to our King.

Barb September 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Jessica,
It’s funny I had the same analogy in mind…..Humpty Dumpty!! And you are so right with all the roles we fulfill we forget who we are and I think that is part of what I’m going through since I’m on my own now I don’t have the different roles anymore. God has truly blessed me throughout my life and led me every step of the way…..I’ve just lost the path that is for me! God is so good and I truly believe He led me to KLOVE and this ministry for a reason! Ready……Set…….Grow!!

Jessica September 12, 2012 at 9:47 am

We I believe together we can be the Kings people and help put our pieces back together again. Accountability is key here!

Ready..Set..Grow!

Barb September 11, 2012 at 1:09 pm

This is the first online study I’ve been involved in and am excited and nervous and I’m not sure why. I’m very active at church and involved with our Ladies Bible Study and have the appearance of having it all together. I am divorced from a marriage I was told by counselors that was not what God intended; I’ve had a long term relationship I really wanted to work, but he didn’t want a commitment; I have come back to my “home” church, to my roots to find who I am and what God intends for my life. I feel like I am floundering, I am searching but I don’t know for what. God truly blessed me with my children & grandchildren – they are wonderful, self-reliant people and I like them as adults….but now they don’t need me. My unglued is me…I don’t feel put together, even around people I feel alone. Your honesty and openness prompted me to be the same and I pray that God uses this study and this group of women to help find a direction. Thank you Melissa and team for being here for us!!

Judi Splint September 11, 2012 at 1:16 pm

“My unglued is me…I don’t feel put together, even around people I feel alone.”
Barb, I feel the same way…you said that so well. Neither my children nor my grandchild need me anymore either. But that does not mean we are not necessary.
I also feel alone even when around others. I feel I have nothing to say; nothing to offer.
If you would like to “pen pal” please feel free to email me. It sounds as if we are in a similar age group and in a similar place in our lives. mjsplint3@bell.net
I do hope you enjoy this study. I intend to put my best effort in to this and hope to come out feeling much better and uplifted about me and my life. I hope the same for you. Judi.

Barb September 11, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Thank you Judi! I would like that very much. Sometimes I think it would feel really good to be able to be UNGLUED and vent some of what’s inside – ya know! ) smile)) I am anxious to see where this OBS takes us!!

Stephanie Clayton September 11, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Isn’t it funny how sometimes in our lonliness we are so afraid to reach out, maybe sometimes it is fear of rejection. It’s one thing to be alone when we don’t try to reach out. But when we put ourselves out there we are vulnerable and it can be scary! I know that feeling of being around people and feeling alone. I was very social, but I never let them see the inside of me, the parts that were broken and hurting. I felt so trapped inside of myself. It wasn’t until I went through my own counseling because I was having horrible panic attacks that I finally took the maks off and risked being myself. And it was so worth it, I learned that by being vulnerable it let other people know it was okay for them to be vulnerable too, and since then the most genuine friendships have formed. God is so good. He has brought you to this study for a reason. He has amazing plans for you and He loves you like crazy right where you are… Hugs to you from one sister to another…

Barb September 11, 2012 at 2:48 pm

You are so right and I am very cautious about who I open up too….I am trying to gauge if they too will abandon me or judge me and I don’t dare tell everything because people don’t want to know, not really. Your words are very comforting and as strange as it sounds I am already beginning to feel “safe” here…..Thank you!

Joan September 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Hi Melissa & the rest of the ladies –

I’m usually Miss Out-going but here of late, I’ve kind of retreated from dealing with women, but I know it was no mistake that in my part of the country, I would locate a KLOVE station and stream it, then find out about The Unglued Series and Melissa’s blog and Online bible study. This is the perfect place for me as I’m not sure about the church I joined and while I’m in transition, I’m being immeasurably blessed by all of the ladies, your blog and I am so excited to see what God is going to do with this bible study – certain 1300+ women can’t be wrong!

Sincerely

Joan

Stephanie Clayton September 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Just wanted to give a shout out to all the OBS newbies! Melissa, is the real deal. She is so open and honest and allows herself to be vulnerable as a leader because it is her hearts desire that no one ever feels alone or like they don’t belong here. There is no doubt in my mind that you will LOVE doing Bible study here. Although I will be sitting out for this study, that does not mean I will not be covering it in prayer for each and every one of you. Love you sweet OBS sisters, God has amazing things in mind for you. You are right where you belong.

Joan September 11, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Thanks for confirmation, Stephanie… It makes me feel better.

Stephanie Clayton September 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Joan, I read your comment above, and you are absolutely right, there are no accidents when it comes to the Lord. He has led you here for a puropose and a reason. Hold on sweet sister, He has a wild, but in an oh so good way, ride for you sister as you grow closer and closer to Him.

Joan September 11, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Thanks Stephanie!

Shauna September 11, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Melissa, your online Bible studies have been amazing for me! I’ve always been shy with no self confidence or self esteem, so I probably would have never joined a face to face Bible study. Your study of Made To Crave was the first one I ever did… and I’ve been continuing with the Bible studies here and also at Girlfriends Coffee Hour. I love it! I’m learning so much, meeting so many new people, and getting so much closer to God. And by the way, I like you!! LOL

Deanna Wiseburn September 11, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Melissa…
I know I am late in commenting, I’ve done other studies with you before, and they are always great. But it is nice to know that you also struggle with acceptance, and that all are welcome here. Sometimes I don’t get involved as much as I should because I also fear rejection.

I look forward to this study, to getting to know God better, and to getting to know more about myself and how to respond effectively. I have been trying to get many others to join us in this journey, because I know from experience that your studies are great.

Having struggles with mental illness, I know I need to work on how I respond to others, and how to handle myself in a more Godly fashion. I love that while not being in a real life church, I can still study with other christians and be accepted for who I am, and learn more about God, and hopefully make some new friends in the process.

Erin September 11, 2012 at 6:37 pm

I love your blogs. They are like looking into my life. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I am so nervous being a part of this group. I can be very social but mostly I keep to myself. I was once at a perfectly nice church singing a hymn but I wasn’t lifting my arms. It’s not how I sing or pray… I cry and I sway when I am moved but lifting my arms- it’s just not what I am moved to do. ANyway- the minister noticed this and he made mention of it- on the pulpit- in front of everyone- looking right at me so that everyone else did too…basically telling the congregation that I wasn’t really praying- I wasn’t filled with the spirit enough- that I should be raising my arms. I was mortified. I never went back to that church and I have been church shy ever since. I wanted to join a group of faithful, female believers and when I found you and Proverbs 31 I was so excited… but I am still so afraid of being judged or not being Christian enough for some. And church? Ha! I really want to try a new church this Sunday but what if I fail again? I know God and Jesus doesn’t give a whit if I raise my arms when I sing but it’s such a fear of being judged…. Anyway- sorry this is so long. Thanks Melissa. I felt so relieved and I have felt SO welcome here and on Facebook that I know God lead me RIGHT where I am supposed to be. Thanks again.

Ruth Ainslie September 12, 2012 at 5:44 am

I hope it’s okay if I reply to Deanna’s comment(s) here. MY GOODNESS!! Honey, if I had a Pastor – or anyone – who made an example of me like that Pastor did of you, I’d be out of there too! YOU did not fail. The Pastor failed YOU! I am so sorry that happened to you. The insensitivity was totally uncalled for…..and who says there is a specific way to ‘Praise the Lord’, sing, or pray? God will likely show the Pastor the error of his way(s). You do what the Lord leads you to do and, as uncomfortable as others tend to make us feel at times…….ignore them. Focus on the Lord and give Him all the Glory!
Sending you a HUGE HUG and tons of encouragement!
In Christ,
Ruth

Ruth Ainslie September 12, 2012 at 5:49 am

Oops! Sorry, Deanna! If my comments work for you……GREAT! (This is what happens when one gets up early and is wearing different glasses than usual! (
I meant my reply/comments for Erin! As you can tell, I am somewhat technologically challenged………again, sorry, Deanna! Erin…….I’m praying for you, that no matter how the Spirit leads you to worship the Lord, you ‘go with it!’ God Bless!!
Ruth

Joan September 12, 2012 at 7:37 am

Hi Erin,

I’m so sorry you experienced it. Unfortunately I think sometimes we experience things in churches that reminds us that imperfect people attend churches and it is truly a walk (Sometimes a crawl) as we look for church homes. I pray that you will find a church home that embraces your worship style.

God bless!

Joan

Amy September 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

Erin, I’m so sorry for your experience. You are so right that it’s your right to worship God the way HE leads you. If it’s all for show, which it seems like in this church, it’s not TRUE worship! That’s evident in the way the pastor acted towards you and the rest of the congregation, ruling by shame and fear for not acting the way he thinks a person should. Notice the word, acting…it’s all an act if that’s the way he treats people. Shame on him, but not shame on you. That’s something God will deal with him one day for not being an encourager of the faith like a true pastor should and usually does. One bad seed does not mean that every church is the same, nor every church under even the same denomination is the same. I encourage you to try again and pray that God will lead you to the right congregation and to the right pastor. May God bless you and keep you!

Leah September 11, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Yes, I have plenty of fears about being in an online Bible study and I honestly don’t know if I would ever be able to truly remove my mask. The last time I did, I got slapped in the face (figuratively) by a so called friend of mine. I opened up on a closed, secret FB group that we were both in. I opened up about “fitting in”, of all things. This “friend” completely trashed what I did and berated for me for what I wrote. Told me my heart wasn’t right with the Lord. Many of the women in this group connected with what I had said but the one person who I thought was one of my best friends trashed it because I didn’t come to her directly about it. I didn’t come to her because I didn’t feel she was the right person to talk to about it. I figured she’s tear about what I was feeling and that’s exactly what she did. I was simply trying to be vulnerable with these women, and now, I don’t know if I can ever be vulnerable with anybody or trust anybody ever again. So I don’t know if I can truly be able to take off my mask because of this experience. Makes me want to retreat into a hole and never see the light of day.

My post in FB that my friend berated me for was basically a lament. And how is that different from what King David, Job, Heman in Psalm 88, and Naomi did when they expressed not so positive thoughts? Not really that different.

Melissa Taylor September 17, 2012 at 8:49 am

Leah,
I’m sorry that happened to you. I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I think it’s worth the risk. I receive many negative emails and comments. I have to hold them up to God’s truth. And I’ve learned that usually when someone is mean, it is because of their own low self worth. Hurt people hurt people. Sad but true.

Thank you for joining this study. I hope you will stick with it and experience the joy and beauty that can come out of studying God’s Word with others.

Love and Blessings,
Melissa

Barbie September 11, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Wow!! Melissa, I have been following your blog for a few months now, as well as other blogs, trying to find a group of women i may fit in with. I signed up for a previous online Bible study with you, but allowed my fears to get the best of me. I was afraid to comment, afraid people would think i was silly or crazy (The same thing I’m thinking now, as I’m typing this). God has been calling on me to work for him, but my fears are overwhelming. I have been reading blogs and websites. I see all these Christian women, a Sisterhood, and I think to myself. How do I find that? Will I fit in? Your posting is great timing! I hope I have found the place to grow in Christ, and make many new friends along the way! Thank you for your honesty!

Lisa September 11, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Barbie,
Please join all your sisters in Christ. We all have stuff in our lives. I blelieve that this is going to be the best thing I have done. Lysa’s book “Unglued” sure does apply to me and from many many other commet to others also. I am believeing that I am going to make some friends through this. I think that us as women need others to beable to open up too. I am truely excited for this OLB.

Barbie September 13, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Thank you Lisa! I am looking forward to this study and to making new friends as well. I can’t wait to get started!

Lisa September 14, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Great! Maybe we will get in a group together.

Sheena September 11, 2012 at 10:36 pm

I have been so blessed by reading these comments and the blog post! I have struggled with insecurities and fear. In fact I found out about this study because I was reading about online bible studies on the Proverbs 31 website. I was looking for an alternative to my church’s women’s group. I allowed the enemy to put thoughts of insecurities and fear in my head and cause me to project thoughts and behavior on those ladies that they were likely not having. I often fear that I won’t fit in. Even after signing up for this study, the enemy began to put thoughts of fear in my mind. Reading these comments has really been conformation that this is just a trick of the enemy to isolate us and keep us paralyzed in fear. Insecurities are based in fear. God has not given us a spirit of fear. Because of his love, grace and mercy we have no reason to fear. I pray that we all can live a life free from fear including insecurities!

Ruth Ainslie September 12, 2012 at 5:34 am

Been there, done THAT!! I have since pitched all of my masks……..they’re really quite confining after awhile, and they don’t match my outfits besides.

I get so excited about Bible Study and other things, then beat myself up b/c of all of the ‘what ifs’ I come up with. (Just get dressed and GO, Ruth!) If we come to a lesson with which I struggle, I fake my way through it so as not to look so stupid. HOWEVER, as I used to tell my students, “There is no such thing as a stupid question……unless you don’t ask to begin with. In other words, the only ‘stupid’ question is one that is not asked, therefore goes unanswered, and the would-be questionnaire continues to wonder! We don’t laugh at those who don’t ‘get it,’ and feel like a peacock b/c we do ‘get it.’ I did not tolerate the berating of others in situations like that.”

Oh! The where do I fit in? question…….the DO I fit in? question………….What if they don’t like me? I tend to be shy to a degree…..although not like I used to be where I never said, “Boo!”

And (never begin a sentence with ‘and.’)……isn’t that they way things usually turn out? We find we have so much in common with the other attendees! Start chatting with someone and you’ll hear the response of ‘ME TOO!! I thought I was the only one! I was afraid to say anything!’ Interesting………we share so many commonalities and we can also learn so much from others.

Ditch the masks, Ladies. Just be the YOU God made you to be. People will likely be amazed at your ‘puzzle’ once they put you together…..and you’ll be amazed at their puzzle(s) too!

Blessings to all, and thank you, Melissa for sharing with us!

Ruth Ainslie
Hastings, MI

Amy September 17, 2012 at 11:24 am

Your post made me smile Ruth! See —->

Pamela September 12, 2012 at 9:07 am

I still struggle with going to Bible studies…just started one this past Mon at church. Figured if I made myself go I’d get something good out of it. The ladies are nice and all but I still feel naked and exposed most of the time. Even so, I am determined to do the opposite of what I want which is sometimes to hide in the shadows.

On line Bible studies are not as threatening to me.

Right now I’m gaining victory over a very abusive past and it’s hard work; however, I know I am a strong woman because of the blood of Jesus and I’m not gonna quit. He is leading me from victory to victory to victory!! I am growing and going in Jesus name!! One step at a time; one victory at a time!

RUTHONA WASINGER September 12, 2012 at 1:10 pm

THE PICTURE OF YOUR GREEN BEANS BROUGHT BACK FOND MEMORIES OF MY
DAD WORKING IN HIS HUGE GARDEN AND OF MY MOM CANNING GREEN BEANS!

Beth September 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Just wanted to add my two cents worth. These online studies are wonderful. This time I got the conference call package also and that has just added so much. This is an amazing community of women. Melissa! Look what you have started!!!! Thank you and God bless! xo

Melissa Taylor September 17, 2012 at 8:50 am

Beth,
You rock! Thank you so much

Linda September 13, 2012 at 8:54 am

I have tried bible studies in several different churches, but sadly I felt left out of the click and after two or three meetings I always ended up quitting.

I am excited about this online bible study, yet a bit nervous that I will “get lost” in the shuffle here. This is a huge group!

Judi Splint September 13, 2012 at 10:06 am

You sound just like me. You can still comment on this site, but if you like, you can keep in touch with me as well and then neither one of us will feel as if we are lost. :0)
mjsplint3@bell.net
Let me know. Judi.

Linda September 14, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Thank you,Judi!

Linda September 14, 2012 at 9:45 pm

That is so sweet of you to offer this support, Judi. I really appreciate it and will seriously consider contacting you when the study begins! Linda

Joan September 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Hi Linda,

I don’ t think you’ll get lost in the group. They have lots of smaller groups and you can always reach out to the message board. And you can reach out to me. jchavis66@gmail.com.

Linda September 14, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Thank you so much! I think I will check out the facebook small groups also.

Tristine Barry September 17, 2012 at 6:54 am

Hi Melissa. I am a first-timer in any online Bible study. I am really looking forward to it. I have been in many studies and am very active in my church as a leader. I will confess that I also struggle with insecurity. I have improved greatly in this area with the help of our Lord and the amazing Body of Christ at my church, but know I am a work of imperfect progress. I am looking forward to getting to know you and the women God brings into my life throug this study. Thanks for your very admirable and generous contribution to The Kingdom and us women.

Amy September 17, 2012 at 11:19 am

Is it Sunday yet? I’m ready for this, my fourth study, and I cannot wait to get started! Every time I am here I learn something new and I’m ready to have God shape me and mold me some more using this study as well. I’m excited for the posts from Melissa and her friends, the comments here from these beautiful sisters in Christ, and of course for the FB group posts as well. I’ve learned so much from my FB friends.
The only advice I could give to any persons new to this online studying thing…just open up, let God into every little space of your heart, and be honest with your thoughts/feelings. The Lord already knows what’s in your heart, so being honest with ourselves only helps Him heal our hurts that much quicker.