Hello again, it’s Jamy. Boy, this study is really hitting home with me this week (pun intended). I love the tips and insights that Karen provides throughout the chapter. Changes are being made around the Whitaker house. There are two key points that I would like to share with you today.
- “Set the tone of the house” (pg. 114)
Ladies, we have a huge responsibility to set the mood and atmosphere in our homes. If we are short-tempered and quick to find faults our families are going to respond in one of two ways: in turn become those same characteristics with each other or retreat and withdraw thinking they cannot please us. I know I do not want this in my home. Therefore, you and I need to strive to be thermostats (constant) rather than thermometers (changing based on emotions). We want our homes to be a safe, welcoming environment, instead of a place of harsh words and criticism.
- “Let go of the deception of perfection” (pg. 116)
I do not know why we so often fall into thinking that everything needs to be perfect – perfectly clean home, not one item out of place, laundry always done, kids neat and clean and gourmet meal on the table every night. Striving to achieve the unattainable will leave our families and us stressed, uncomfortable and resentful. Instead, we need to learn to let go of perfection and embrace our families and ourselves with our imperfections. Just like Karen pointed out, “Shoes strewn about means you have children who can walk. Mud-spattered uniforms means you have children who can run, jump, and kick. Homework papers left on the dining-room table means your kinds have a functioning mind and are able to learn, absorb, and live quality lives” (pg. 124).
Yes, on any given day you can find toys on the floor, shoes scattered by the door, fingerprints on mirrors and laundry that needs to be done. But our house is a place where we feel comfortable and can relax. This is not to say that chores are not done, but it is all kept in perspective.
Your Response:
Take some time to read through the questions and then respond to them in the comment section of the blog, on the facebook group or in your journal. I am looking forward to see how God is working in your life through this study.
- Which reflection verse spoke the most to you this week? How were you able to apply it to your life?
“But we behaved gently when we were among you, like a devoted mother nursing and cherishing her own children. So, being thus tenderly and affectionately desirous of you, we continued to share with you not only God’s good news (the Gospel) but also our own lives as well, for you had become so very dear to us.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 AMP
“She watches over the activities of her household.” ~ Proverbs 31:27 HCB
2. Are you a thermostat or a thermometer? What steps are you going to take this week to set the tone in your home?
- How did this chapter speak to you? How are you going to put that into action in your home?
- What is one thing you will take away from Week 3?
Congratulations! You have made it through another week of the study and are one step closer to letting go and walking in faith.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Sponsor a Child
{ 13 comments }
I love the part where she talks about the lady in Proverbs 31 and how she watches over the activities in her home. This made me realize that having plans in place will help us be more prepared for things that may come our way. For example keeping budget journal, eating healthy and things that improve us and our families.. Love thinking about this..
Vanessa
Awesome, Rebecca! I love how the Lord encourages and challenges us with His Word to be more effective where we are planted! Be blessed!
Oops… I mean, Vanessa! Yikes. Wake up, Christa!
1. Neither of the verses really spoke to me. The one that stands out in this chapter for me was 1 Peter 4:8-9 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” I’m very guilty of treating my loved ones with less kindness and grace than those I’m not as close to.
2. I’m a thermometer who is in denial, believing she’s a thermostat. This week I’m going to ask for help (gasp – I’m going to admit that I don’t have it all under control) and accept help without going back and “fixing” things done my way. This week allow me to enjoy my family without feeling resentful.
3. As above.
4. MY way isn’t the ONLY way nor is it always the RIGHT way.
I love that you’re enjoying your family, Courtney! They are some of God’s greatest gifts in our lives! Be blessed!
Cortney, I often find it can be hard to take a critical look at myself. I always tried to be that thermostat also, but way to often failed. I think our failures are meant to keep us at The Cross. We can’t do motherhood well without Christ. God bless you and your home my sister!
Letting go of the deception of perfection was a good one for me. I was reminded of the “whitewashed tombs” Jesus referred to in the Gospels. We can have that reputation or perception of perfection when inside we’re just as nasty as dead bones. It’s deception for me to believe that I can do it alone, and perfectly, at that. May God continue to grow and inspire all of us to be the women of God He has called us to be! Blessings!
Boy do I wish I had this book while raising my kids! I loved the comment: go home and be friendly! LOL why do we miss that so much the minute we hit the door – God is good and now as a mother of kids in their 20′s I can even now encourage and direct them and say – hey I didn’t always do it right, but you can!
Happy Friday!
I guess the verse that spoke to me was Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger. When I had to get rough with my 18 year old this morning before I spoke a word this verse came to my mind. I was able to calm down and not say things that I would regret later.
I guess I have always been a thermometer. I never thought about it in this way until I read the chapter and I hope I can do better. I want to be able to be in control of my words and actions and this study is really helping me to see the real ME!!
Chapter 6 pg. 124 really spoke alot to me ” shoes strewn about means children who can walk. Md-spattered uniforms means you have children who can run, jump, and kick. Homework papers left on the dining-room table means your kids have a functioning mind and are able to learn, absorb, and live quality lives.” This really opened my eyes to not get all out of wack when I my boys are just living life. I count my blessings that my family is healthy and able to walk, talk, and play. I will enjoy washing the uniforms, picking up the papers and pick up them shoes and count my blessings.
I will come back to chapter 6 later on in life and look it over when I start to lose perspective of taking care of my boys.
I think the part about being a thermostat. I feel that my girls do usually withdraw from me because I do get upset or angry at them when as Karen says in the book, I give the dry cleaner a smile for ruining my sweater. I need to start treating those in my home, my children, the way that I treat others outside the home. I need not to expect perfection and remember they will mess up. May I extend them the grace that God has given me.
This week it was Proverbs 31:26-27: She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the activities of her household.
I often am careful about watching over the activities of the house but not always with wisdom and faithful instruction.
I am more often the thermometer than the thermostat. When everything is smooth sailings, it’s great…but throw a wrench into my plans, watch the temperature drop! I’m working towards being a collected, calm thermostat in my family.
On page 113, Karen reminds us that “We are to be proactive in not only setting the tone around our homes but intentionally making them run smoothly.” I often will intentionally make things run smoothly, pack lunches, make coffee, make sure everyone’s out of the door on time, make dinner plans, etc…but I often forget about setting the tone. So just because everyone is on time doesn’t mean everyone is happy…because someone *cough, cough was yelling at them to get going. I need to be the thermostat, not the thermometer. Do all this while not grumbling, mumbling under our breath!
Ouch my toes!!! She really hit home with me about what comes out of us is really what is in us. I know when im stressed or get my shedule off track I do tend to get a little snippy with my family. I am going to take it one day at a time and fill myself with God’s word, therefore God’s love will flow out of me. Hope y’all have a great Monday!!
“She watches over the activities of her household.” ~ Proverbs 31:27 HCSB
This verse really speaks to my heart because it describes perfectly the kind of mother and wife I want to be. The woman of the house comes in all shapes, sizes, and spirits. The spirit I’ve always admired most is the quiet, watchful mother and wife. She is a source of wisdom, strength, and comfort for her family. She is the essential glue holding it all together. She is always the first one up and the last one down, and constantly puts her family’s needs before her own because she knows that is what the Lord has called her to do. She mends broken dolls and teddy bears just to see the smile on her little one’s face, and wipes every tear with a gentle kiss. She doesn’t buy the affection of her family with toys, clothes, or other things of the world. She is effortlessly loved by her family in response to the love and care she gives them everyday. Whenever any member of her family is tired, sick, hurt, or scared, her presence let’s them know that everything is ok. Most importantly, she keeps God alive in her heart and her home. She never lets a day go by without thanking God for her blessings and leading by example for her family to do the same.
I honestly try to be the thermostat, but unfortunately, when I let myself get worn out instead of making rest and health a priority for myself just as I do my family, I quickly turn into the thermometer….at about 180 degrees. I’ve been battling with that for awhile now. Though I have been praying for strength, I know I haven’t yet put my heart into making this situation better, and I have to…not just for myself, but for my family. My child and my husband deserve better. God deserves better. It will be a step by step process, but I will get there. Reading this chapter was one of the many steps I needed to take, and it truly spoke to my heart. I have so much to be thankful for, and I don’t want to take any of my blessings for granted…especially my Lord and Savior, as well as the people I love the most.
“Shoes strewn about means you have children who can walk. Mud-spattered uniforms means you have children who can run, jump, and kick. Homework papers left on the dining-room table means your kids have a functioning mind and are able to learn, absorb, and live quality lives” (pg. 124).
The words of Karen ares the very words that spoke to my heart the most because they are totally true. I have so much to be thankful for simply because I have a healthy and happy family to spend my days and nights with, and a Heavenly Father who loves me and will be with me everywhere I go. Even on my worst day, I know I have more blessings than I deserve, and I am so thankful to have a family so understanding and a Father so merciful. Like many wonderful wives and mothers, my plate may be constantly full, but my cup runneth over.
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