Is anyone still here? If so, what a good friend you are! I’ve been away for a while, in fact I haven’t blogged in a year! This week though, I decided to come back. Why? Because I’m about to go to Israel. (More on that)
So what happened to me? Where have I been? Why haven’t I been writing on my personal blog the way I used to?
I lost my mo-jo. Seriously I did. I don’t even know the real meaning of mo-jo, but for me, that means my confidence. My confidence in being just me, Melissa.
Let me explain. I am the Director of Online Bible Studies at Proverbs 31 Ministries. Oh, don’t let the big title fool you. Basically it means I lead Bible study online. And at first it really was that simple. But then it grew. And grew. And grew. Before I knew it, a one-woman shop became a 200+ woman team. We lead studies for thousands and thousands each year. Simple became complex. And while I’m confident as a leader, I became unconfident as just me.
Recently I was asked why I wasn’t taking part in the latest trend of “Periscoping.” I was also asked why I wasn’t blogging anymore? I thought about it and had to confess that it was because I didn’t feel like I had anything to say. At least not anything that anyone would want to hear. Wait a minute … did I just say that? Since when do I not have anything to say?
I was able to obtain a dream job at Proverbs 31 Ministries because I believe in the value of others and what they have to say. I spend my time encouraging others that they matter. When I speak it’s usually because I see the potential in someone or I’m encouraging someone to believe that God is for them, they have what it takes, and they shouldn’t ever give up. But yet, I gave up. I gave up on me.
I’m going to Israel in 3 days. I will be walking where Jesus walked. I’ll be seeing things I’ve only read about. I realize this doesn’t make me more special than anyone else, but it is an opportunity I never dreamed I’d have. I won’t only be seeing sights, but I’ll be on a study trip, studying God’s Word in the Holy Land. “God, will you ignite a fire in me? Please bring your Word alive in my heart in a new exciting way. Will you meet with me as just Melissa? Can you show me that I have what it takes again?”
While that may sound selfish, I promise it’s not. Melissa needs to know that she is enough … just as Melissa. Maybe you need to know that about yourself too.
Unconfident me is taking a step of faith and believing that she has confidence again. Israel is my turning point.
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13 NLT
I’m going to blog my journey in the Holy Land next week and I’ll be doing that here on my personal blog. Maybe a few will be interested and read it or maybe it’s just for me. Confident Melissa is fine either way. haha
I never intended to hide behind a title in my life. But I realize I have been. Mom. Wife. Friend. Daughter. Online Bible Studies Director.
It’s time for the return of just Melissa. And just Melissa is enough.
See you in the Holy Land.