Monday, April 16th, 2012

Leaving the Grave & Learning to Trust

by Melissa Taylor

Today’s post is a testimony from our amazing friend, Online Bible Studies Leader, and professional counselor, Stephanie Clayton. May her story bring you the encouragement you need to trust God and leave the fear behind.

As a survivor, as one healing, I had certain expectations. I expected to heal quickly. I expected my therapist to save me. I expected everyone to “get” what was going on with me. I expected God to bring me back to joy. I knew it wouldn’t be immediate in my head, but my heart expected it now. I had countless, un-admitted, un-acknowledged expectations of the bystanders.

Who are the bystanders you might ask? They are the people who are a part of our lives while the abuse, assault, or pain occurred. Often they are completely oblivious to what is going on. The question is asked over and over again, “How could someone not have known? Couldn’t they see what I was going through?” Our pain is so obvious to us that we think it should be written across our face like a scarlet letter and the bystanders should notice it. Why do we have these expectations? How could they really know?

Many of us developed a very convincing mask. The mask told everyone that we were just fine. The mask told us we were okay. We could carry this burden alone, on our own. We were survivors. And in that moment, survivor meant doing things on our own. A part of us desperately wanted someone to help, but we were too “strong” to ask for it. Too scared to let anyone see the turmoil. No, it was ours to bear…and bear alone.

At the time, I did not see the pride that was motivating my actions. I was strongly bent towards doing life on my own. I wasn’t going to let anyone else share in what I had endured. I had endured it, it was my piece of hell to survive, not theirs. And I was angry. I was much too angry, hurt, and prideful to reach out.

Years were spent ensuring that my pride was validated. Years were spent proving to myself that he hadn’t hurt me. That no one needed to know what happened. That I would achieve regardless, and I would do it on my own. It was only when the valleys in the road got so deep that I could no longer pull myself out (10 plus years of ever deepening valleys) that I RELUCTANTLY went for help. God forced me to a place where I had no choice. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus that you force deliverance out of us. That was the only way my heart was going to move. It was time for me to learn to trust God.

I had to let God be God. To let the Savior do the saving. I had to make the decision to trust God and not do it all on my own. I needed to realize and accept that no amount of achievement on my part was going to change the past. The only thing that could “change” my past, redeem the awful circumstances, and make it something beautiful, was Jesus.

At the end of Chapter 6 I love the verse that Micca shares…

The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.” John 11:44

It was time for me to remove the mask. It was time to stop living as the walking dead. It was time to let the past be the past, walk forward with Christ, and trust Him to turn my pain into purpose. It was time to stop looking for a bystander to blame…or a human to heal me…and start looking to Jesus. It was time to walk with Him and leave the grave and go. I chose to trust Jesus.

If YOU are a survivor (and if you are here then you are!)…please don’t be too afraid to ask for help. It’s your time, and yes, you, are worth God’s time and healing. You are worth getting help. You weren’t meant to bear this alone. It’s time to make some beauty from ashes. Your life is a praiseworthy testimony of His amazing grace and power. It is time for the redemption songs begin! Leave the grave sweet sister and walk forward. Learn to trust Jesus. I’m so glad I did.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (The Message):

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.

Can you relate to living like the walking dead? Are you ready to take that leap of faith and begin to trust God with it all? Share your thoughts with us today.

***To read more from Stephanie Clayton, click here.

{ 76 comments }

Saturday, April 14th, 2012

An Untroubled Heart~Week 4

by Melissa Taylor

First a quick recap of weeks 1-3:

Week 1: Words of the Week: Power, Love, Self-Discipline. Memory Verse: For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV 1984)

Week 2: Word of the Week: Faith. Memory Verse: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:6 (NKJV)

Week 3: Word of the Week: Obedience. Memory Verse: Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:5-6 (NIV 1984)

Hopefully this week gave some of you a chance to catch up. For those of you who are not caught up and you’ve had your book since the beginning, I have a few words I’d like to hopefully encourage you with. (If you were late in receiving your book or have not received it yet, these words are not specifically for you, but you may benefit from them.) :)

No More Excuses

I know life is busy. I know there are circumstances out of your control. Believe me, I have them too. Signing up for a Bible study is a commitment. I think many people think that just by signing up and purchasing a book, their lives will change, after all they are making an effort. I wish it was that easy. I know it takes work, and it is a time commitment. Instead of thinking of it as a commitment, try thinking of it as an investment. You are investing your time into something that will change your life, God’s Word. I’m not trying to make anyone feel guilty…no way…not me. I just want to empower and encourage you to devote time to God and this Bible study. Now if you decided this isn’t the study for you or it’s not the time for you, that’s okay. I understand. But, and this is big but if you find that you are wasting time during your day or not devoting time that you know you should be, then I just want to try to light a fire under you to change your priorities. I don’t want anyone to miss out because of laziness, other time suckers, lack of dedication, Facebook, thinking you can’t do it or you aren’t worth it, putting unimportant tasks ahead of Bible study, believing the lie that change is not possible, or being stuck in a rut or stuck in the past. As your Bible study leader, I feel it’s my responsibility to say this to you. Again, no guilt…that’s not from me or God. I want your life to be lived to the fullest. I don’t want the thief to kill, steal, and destroy what Jesus has for you (John 10:10). I’m praying for each of you that you continue to move forward from wherever you are right now. Don’t quit. Don’t stop. God has plans for you. I believe this study came into your life for a reason.

Beginning today, instead of coming up with excuses NOT to do your Bible study, how about coming up with a few reasons TO DO your Bible study. In the comment section of my blog, list your reasons TO DO this Bible study. If you haven’t been making the time, share your plan of how you will start making time beginning now. You can do this. God’s Word will not return void in your life, I promise! Start where you are. You can access my older blog posts in the Online Bible Studies Archives section in the right column of this blog if needed. Let’s go girls! God has His hand stretched down to meet you just where you are. Reach up, grab it, and move forward…towards An Untroubled Heart.

Week 4

This week we will work on Chapters 6 & 7.

Word of the Week

Trust

Memory Verse of the Week

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17 (NIV)

I consider the next 2 chapters to be the most important chapters of this entire study. So far we’ve talked a lot about moving from fear to faith, but in my opinion, it’s in Chapters 6 & 7 where this becomes a reality for you and me. These are not the pages to skim, but to read, highlight, take notes, and take heart! Because I really want you to soak in the depth and messages in these chapters, the suggested assignments are changing a bit this week, so read carefully. I can’t wait to hear how you are impacted by these chapters! It’s all I can do to not share with you how I am impacted, but I want your reception of these messages to be fresh and uninfluenced by me.

Sunday- Prepare your heart for this week of study. Ask God to examine your heart (O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.~ Psalm 139:1, NLT) and open you up to receive the truth He has for you.

Monday-Wednesday- Read Chapters 6 & 7. No, this is NOT a misprint. You have 3 days to read. Don’t waste them, this isn’t to make it easy on you. It’s because these chapters are so jam packed with life-changing truth and application. I’m hoping you will read, reread, and take notes. Look up the scriptures listed in these pages. Pray as you read. Soak it up, it’s for you! All this week, I’ll have messages on my blog to go along with what you are reading. My suggestion would be to read Chapter 6 on Monday, Chapter 7 on Tuesday, then repeat and skim both chapters on Wednesday. It’s up to you how you do it, that’s just how I did it.

Tuesday- Conference Call, bring tissues and be prepared to leave this call different than the way you began it. It’s still not too late to sign up. By signing up now, you will receive the recording information for our first 2 calls and access to our next 2 calls. You have the option to be on the call live or listen to the recording at your convenience. The calls are an excellent supplement to the actual study. They actually lend audible words and real life testimonies to the material in the book. Plus I get the awesome privilege to connect with you by phone. If you are interested in signing up, please call our office toll free, 877-731-4663, and I will get you all signed up! (M-F, 8:30-5:00pm EST).

April 17, 8 pm EST

Robin Rohrbach (seen here with her daughter, Alexa)

As Grassroots Consultant for Rally Foundation, Robin combines her passion for children with her own daughter’s diagnosis of cancer to educate and inspire others to become involved in raising funds for childhood cancer research. Robin assists schools and community organizations in developing easy fundraising activities and events that are unique to each group she works with. After the loss of her 11-year-old daughter, Alexa, Robin is committed to helping in any way possible to further the mission of Rally and advocating for kids with cancer and their families. Before she joined Rally, Robin was involved with the National Childhood Cancer Foundation (now known as CureSearch) as an advocate and Team Leader for the state of Georgia. She has lobbied Congress many years to increase funding for childhood cancer research. Robin and her team of advocates helped to increase federal financing of childhood cancer from $0 dollars in 2002 to $750,000 in 2003 and $2.5 million in 2004. Prior to her cancer advocacy, Robin was employed as Assistant Director of Education and classroom teacher at a non-profit residential treatment center for at-risk youth. She was responsible for hiring, evaluating, and mentoring other teachers, as well as providing individual and group counseling to students. She has facilitated several professional workshops during her time as an educator. Robin has a Masters Degree in Counseling and Educational Psychology and holds three teaching certificates in Elementary Education, Special Education/Behavior Disorders and School Counseling. She also has a BS Degree in Criminal Justice from Appalachian State University. Robin and her husband Chris live in Acworth, GA with their daughter, Jenna and dear memories of their sweet daughter Alexa. The entire Rohrbach family is dedicated to helping makes a difference in the lives of children with cancer.

Lelia Chealey

Lelia is a wife, mom of 3 and became a {very young} grandma of 2 before she turned 40 in 2010. She is a woman who has an ugly past that only God can handle all the details of and she will tell you He still finds her usable. His grace enables her to write and speak of His greatness despite all she’s been through. Most in Lelia’s shoes would keep her secrets to herself, yet God is using her story (which includes abortion and adultery) in a most amazing way. Above saying “I do” to Gene Chealey, having his babies and becoming a Grandma, trusting God has been the best thing this woman in Nebraska has ever done. She loves Jesus, family, friends, reading, exercise and a cup of cappuccino with cool whip on top.

Thursday-Saturday- Bible Study: Know It—Stow It—Show It, Chapter 6 & Chapter 7. Complete the questions at the end of each chapter in your notebook or journal.

All During the Week- Visit my blog for encouragement, messages from my heart, to share with others, to pray with and for others, and to tell us how God is working in your life. You can also share prayer requests here. There are many prayer warriors in our Online Bible Study group. When you share, we all benefit.

Don’t forget to comment today about No More Excuses (see below for reminder). If you have received this message in your email, you can click here to leave a comment on my blog.

Blessings to each of you! I love for you, I’m praying for you, and I consider it a joy to be in Bible study with you. Have a wonderful week!

{ 120 comments }

Friday, April 13th, 2012

A Family Redeemed by God

by Melissa Taylor

I am so excited to welcome Veronica Herzing to my blog today! Veronica is not only a good friend of mine, but she also serves on our Online Bible Studies team. Veronica shares straight from her heart, with courage, a piece of her life that most would just keep to themselves. Hopefully because of what she experienced, someone else will be spared. Or maybe you can relate to her experience because you feel the same way. May you find redemption and restoration from God as a result of reading her story. No matter your situation, you will be blessed by reading today’s guest post by Veronica.

A Family Redeemed by God

Can I tell you something? After reading two pages of Chapter 5 I decided I do not like this chapter – not one bit. Why? Because it brought up a few hundred regrets and “if only’s.” I wish I would have raised my children on a solid foundation of Jesus, but I didn’t.

My husband and I went to church every week, baptized our children, sent our children to CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine), prayed at meals and bedtime, and as any good Catholics do, we didn’t eat meat on Fridays during Lent. All this was good right? Well, partially.

There was one crucial thing we didn’t know to teach our children: how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Why? Because although we believed and had a deep faith, we didn’t have one. We didn’t know how to.

Our house was filled with screaming, yelling, tantrums and the occasional “I can’t do this anymore” moments. Our son is autistic, he was misdiagnosed for years. He had some huge behavior issues that got worse when he was placed in a behavior modification classroom within the school district. I became a controlling parent, allowing my emotions to dictate my responses to our son. I wanted the stars and the moon and the Brady Bunch version and by gosh I was going to have it! I signed us up for every parenting class available. I read all the books on how to be the best parent for our autistic child. I would read all the books, devise a game plan and then inform my husband how it would all work. I had it all color coded, nice and neat in a binder with index tabs for every situation we might come across. This binder sat on the kitchen counter to be referenced at a moment’s notice. Anytime my husband got it wrong, I would be sure to point it out to him, pointing at the parent manual. I did this because I wanted him to become the best dad in the world. Side note: I am sure you know how this ended, right? Are you laughing at my foolishness? Trust me, I can’t believe some of the things I have put that man through!! But the truth is I just wanted better for our home. What’s wrong with that?

Not surprising, we argued a lot! I wanted our family to be close, to like each other, to feel important and valued. My husband didn’t really care if we were close or not. He was strict and went to great lengths to make a lesson stick, no matter the crying, the screaming, the tantrums, or what people thought or where we were when a lesson needed enforcing. I wanted easy, not to be embarrassed, and peaceful outcomes. I also wanted to protect our son, so I often said, “He is autistic. He can’t do what other kids his age can do. If he had no legs would you tell him if he tried hard enough he could walk?” My husband would say, “Yes, he is autistic but there is a real world out there that doesn’t care. Are you going to have him carry a sign that says ‘I am autistic don’t expect anything from me?’”

Years went by, events happened, and poor choices were made. In the end, my husband was right. Today we are living the consequences of my decisions and actions. Our son is 22 years old and takes no responsibility for any of his actions. He finds loopholes in everything and he has no motivation. Our home is still filled with screaming, yelling, tantrums and the occasional “I can’t do this for one more minute!” I give my husband all the respect in the world for never once saying “I told you so. Instead he gives me a hug, reassures me and then takes over until I have pulled myself together. He has the lead on the parenting now.

As I read chapter 5, I began wishing I had those years back. I wanted a DO OVER! Well, there is no such thing as a do over when raising your family. It’s a one shot deal, but thankfully the story doesn’t end here. You see, God is in the business of redeeming families just like mine…and He did.

Once I finished the chapter, I talked to my husband about it. I told him “I wish I would have let you take the lead in parenting from the beginning. I wish I would have supported you fully. I am thankful that I am learning to do better now. I’m not a fearful, controlling parent anymore, but instead I allow our son, Matt, to learn from life – the good parts and the bad.” My wonderful husband looked at me and asked, “So what’s different now?” I wasn’t sure I knew what he meant. He repeated, “What’s different now. What finally got you to this point – after all the books, classes, right way vs. wrong way? Why can you now let him fail when the consequences are so much higher?” I answered “I don’t know.” He leaned over and said “I do. You finally found God and gave up all control.”

It was then that it hit me. The one thing that had been missing all those years was God! All those things I did to change Matt’s behavior were just that – things I did, things I tried to control. Now as I grow in my confidence of who I am in Christ, deepen my relationship with Him and believe in His promises, I can step aside and trust fully in God while being the parent that He calls me to be.

As I read To Guard or Not to Guard in Chapter 5, I realized how different I am in my actions, behaviors and thoughts. Now I have God by my side. Now I have a personal relationship with Him. Now I trust Him. It’s so freeing to have God in control. It’s so freeing to know God is not finished with us yet and can bring good out of what I considered a big mess.

Today, if I was offered a DO OVER, would I take it? NOT A CHANCE! How else would I have discovered to what extent I needed the Lord? This family of 22 years is a true and living testimony to God’s glory that He is our REDEEMER.

We are a family redeemed by God.

Isn’t amazing what God can do? Veronica wanted to share her story with you because she has been impacted in a big way by having faith and trusting God. I know you were blessed by her story and it is my prayer that as we continue to study and share, we will grow in our own faith and deepen our personal relationships with our awesome and wonderful God. We are well on our way to An Untroubled Heart.

Please leave Veronica comments and thoughts in the comment section of my blog. If you’d like to read more from Veronica and hear more of the story, you can visit her blog here.

{ 98 comments }

Thursday, April 12th, 2012

Driven by Faith or Fear?

by Melissa Taylor

Today and tomorrow, our assignment is to complete “Bible Study: Know It—Stow It—Show It” on p. 101-104. The questions here are based on Genesis 15. By studying this passage of Scripture about the covenant between God and Abram, we can learn to be confident that God will keep His guarantee as we trust God to work in our lives.

So, tell me ladies. Are you learning that God will indeed keep His Word as you trust Him? Do you ever feel like He’s let you down or does your trust of Him go beyond that?

I know these can be difficult concepts to think about, but if we just sweep the hard stuff under the rug, our faith will never have a chance to grow. I pray for you each to be empowered by the Word of God. I pray for your obedience to Him and for you to Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and just watch what He will do. He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:5-6

When we commit our ways to the Lord, that means EVERYTHING. We give our lives, families, jobs, relationships, and possessions all over to Him because we trust Him fully. We choose to believe that He can care for us better than we can care for ourselves. We do this out of obedience and trust. (And here’s a little sneak peek into the future: Trust is our word of the week next week!)

Are you driven by faith or fear? Are you still struggling with fear today? How can you move from fear to faith? (note you have to take action to do this) Please share with the group in the comment section of my blog.

It’s an honor to be on this journey from fear to faith with you. I will be praying for each person specifically who comments today.

Hugs <3

{ 132 comments }

Tuesday, April 10th, 2012

Week 3~An Untroubled Heart

by Melissa Taylor

I hope everyone enjoyed the few extra days to catch up. This will alter the course of the rest of our study, but we just go with it around here! Nothing is set in stone.

Here are the changes for the rest of the study:

Week 3~Chapter 5

Week 4~Chapters 6 & 7

Week 5~Chapters 8 & 9

Week 6~ Chapters 10 & 11

Week 7~ Chapter 12

This week we will focus on Chapter 5, Family Matters. Some of you young mothers are thrilled to see this chapter come along. Others of you aren’t so thrilled because you think it doesn’t apply to you. Maybe your family is grown and out of the house. Maybe you don’t live with family. Maybe you don’t like your family. Or maybe you look back and wish could go back and have a do over. Wherever you are, I encourage you to read Chapter 5. There is truth in here for you! I realize the moms and grandmothers may get a little more out of this one, after all there is a focus on parenting, but it’s filled with God’s Word, which is for everyone, so please don’t skip it, even if you think it doesn’t apply to you. (How’s that for a run-on sentence!) Plus, truly this chapter is about obedience and trusting in God’ promises and that is for everyone!

Word of the Week:

Obedience

Memory Verse of the Week:

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:5-6

The Master Builder guarantees rest if we don’t vainly put our trust in our own efforts. Rather, we put full confidence in God’s workings on behalf of our family (and friends, I might add. ~MT). Our job is to walk in obedience to His will, seek his favor, and entrust our home to Him. Our trust is rewarded with the promise contained in our memory verse this week. ~ Micca Campbell, p. 90

Suggested Assignments: (Check each day, so you will know how to respond in my blog comment section.)

Tuesday & Wednesday~ Read Chapter 5, Family Matters. Highlight the parts you want to go back and reread or that really stood out to you.

Please share with the group:

What one sentence in Chapter 5 stood out to you the most? Why? (It’s going to be hard to pick just one, but that’s exactly what I want you to do and share in the comment section of my blog.)

For example, mine would be:

Before I knew it, his concerns and anxieties became mine. p. 91 This sentence hit me in the head like a ton of bricks! Why? Because I am so guilty of carrying the concerns and anxieties of those close to me…to the point of fault in my own character. Their problems can become mine and so instead of having just one person falling apart, now we have two! Not good! I’ve learned through plenty of experience, that it’s not my job to fix all problems, but it is my job to trust the One Who can. Especially in a family, someone has to hold it together. If the kids see their parents falling apart and not trusting God, then how will they ever trust Him? I am being disobedient when I rely on myself and not God. I’m being disobedient when I don’t trust Him.

Thursday & Friday~Bible Study: Know It—Stow It—Show It, p. 101-104

The questions for Chapter 5 are based on Genesis 15. By studying this passage of Scripture about the covenant between God and Abram, we can learn to be confident that God will keep His guarantee as we trust God to work in our lives.

Thursday~Are you driven by faith or fear? Are you still struggling with fear today? How can you move from fear to faith? Please share with the group in the comment section of my blog.

Friday~ Guest post by Online Bible Studies Team Member, Veronica Herzing. You will read why Veronica came close to skipping Chapter 5 and absolutely did not want to read it…but she’s glad now she did! You will not want to miss the amazing God story she has to share!

Ok, ladies, let’s move forward, strong in the Lord as we continue our quest for An Untroubled Heart! Let’s “commit our ways to Him” and just watch Him work!

I look forward to reading your thoughts so please share! (see suggested assignments)

Love you!

{ 113 comments }

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →